Source: http://qa.muftisays.com/?9780
Question ID: #9780
 
Question: Feel disgust towards spouse
I feel disgust and hatred towards my spouse. He is a good man and I don't find fault with his character, his Imaan or his family. I am just not attracted to the man and feel repulsed whenever he speaks to me or initiates intimacy. I have tried to overcome this but I cannot help feeling the way I am. I fear I am not upholding the obligations of a wife and I am not fulfilling his rights. I consider divorce everyday but I'm scared of the impact it'll have on both our families because I know it will cause great distress. Most of all I am scared of displeasing Allah and falling into sin. I need advise on what I would do in this situation. I know I am the bad one in the situation and I know I need to fix myself. I just do not know how to feel differently. Please advise me on what to do that won't cause me to displease Allah.
 
 
Answered by: Ulamaa ID 04 (London)
Date: 02/06/2024 00:37am

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الجواب حامداومصليا

One should always strive to reconcile their marriage.

If there is a problem between spouses then send one arbitrator from his family and one from her.

Allah states in the Quran:

“If you fear a split between them (the spouses), send one arbitrator from his people and one from her people. If they desire to set things right, Allah shall bring about harmony between them. Surely, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware”

(An-Nisa', Ayah 35)

If there is no success then Allah has shown away out which is divorce or in case of a woman she can seek a Khula’.

Allah states in the Quran:

“And if they resolve to divorce, Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.”

(Al-Baqarah, Ayah 227)

Additionally, you can present your case to your local Imam he will be able to counsel and guide you to a solution.

And Allah knows best

25 Dhul Qa’dah 1445/ 02 June 2024
Mufti Qamruzzaman

London, UK
 
www.MuftiSays.com