Source: http://qa.muftisays.com/?7236
Question ID: #7236
 
Question: I got married and My wife got to know about my past which was full of Zina
Dear mufti sir,

I am in the biggest self created mess of my life and I don't know how will it turn good for everyone involved.

I was a semi religious boy offering Jummah regularly, performing the best prayers and salahs in ramadhan and fasting, but only offering salahs inconsistently for some months and then leaving them.

I got lost in a dark place, I committed Zina and then asked for true tawbah from Allah not to repeat the crime, then I got in touch with the girl I had known since my college days but she had got married 6 or 7 years ago, before her marriage we had gotten into inappropriate messaging only, and then she got married. She met me after 7 years and I committed Zina with her, she was equally involved. She blamed me for everything and I got so depressed, I lost into a darker place, I started committing Zina again until I got a sign from Allah to mend my ways truly, I cried for the first time on the prayer mat and said I will not repeat any of my wrongdoings, did the true tawbah again and had not had intercourse again with a woman again.

I thought my prayer had been accepted, I was clean and got married after 2 years. 7 months after my marriage, my wife got to know about my past, all the details, and she can't see my true tawbah or my mended ways, I have tried everything, I am deeply in love with her, haven't thought of other women or committed anything after marriage, I was clean, but the past still came rushing back to haunt me. I have asked for forgiveness from my wife, and that I am her biggest culprit, asked Allah for help as well. But she will not listen to me, can't even see me,
I don't want to give her talaaq as it's gonna be a bigger sin, or leave her. I asked her to leave me but she is keeping my honor so not everyone knows about my past.
What should I do?
 
 
Answered by: Ulamaa ID 04 (London)
Date: 18/08/2022 19:54pm

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الجواب حامداومصليا

May Allah accept your Tawbah. Have Tawakkul (trust) that Allah has forgiven you. One should forgive and forget. What matters most is the present life of your spouse. Focus on the present and future and not the past.

Also, It is advisable to get in touch with your local Imam or upright Muslim counsellor.

May Allah grant you resolve in your marriage. Ameen

And Allah knows best

18 Dhul Hijjah 1443/ 19 July 2022
Mufti Qamruzzaman

London, UK
 
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