Source: http://qa.muftisays.com/?4185
Question ID: #4185
 
Question: Love Marraige
Assalamualaikum, I used to work with a girl almost two years ago and I used to like her then but never asked her what she feels about me. After waiting for two years, I have not found a girl and I also found out that she has also not been married(I texted her and asked her indirectly).In recent nights(after texting her) ,I say a dream in night as if I and her are having pleasant conversation. This happened before I woke up for fajar. I am very confused since the girl is good but there are lots of hindrances and I also don't know whether she likes me or not. I am also thinking of moving back to my country of origin to support my parents and this makes the whole thing even more complicated. I seek assistance on how to take matter further in this issue. Shall I text her and ask her how she feels about me or shall I let her go completely?I request you to guide me with your knowledge.
 
 
Answered by: Ulamaa ID 06 (London)
Date: 24/10/2012 12:17pm

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Al Jawaab Billahit-Tawfeeq

Respected brother,

May Allah guide you through this testing time and keep you firm on Taqwah and Eemaan. Ameen

In your situation, I feel that the dream is brought about by your actions of communication to a non-Mahram (someone who is legal for you to marry) and the fact that it's what you've been thinking about before sleeping or throughout the day. Contact without necessity is clearly Haraam and blessings are removed in any actions taken thereafter such as proposals or even marriage.

I feel that nothing is more simple or clearer than to send a formal proposal to the family of the girl. As she already knows you, I advise that you do not text her nor propose directly as it can scare a girl. Approaching the family is the best method as it gives the girl space to think, consider and also it's more real when family is involved rather than when it's discussed privately and pondering constantly how to put the word forward.

Do not complicate matters by lengthy communications and conversations as Shaytaan will play with the minds and hearts and nothing good has ever come from such actions.

When seeing the family of the girl, you must make it clear about your plans of leaving the country too. Not doing so could cause problems when you break the news to them.

As I advise in every matter of marriage, do not under estimate the power and virtue of Istikharah. Many have made up their minds happily after Istikharah and this should be the first step.

Please also see http://qa.muftisays.com?342


And Allah knows best


Maulana Muhammad
 
www.MuftiSays.com