Source: http://qa.muftisays.com/?13178
Question ID: #13178
 
Question: Wanting it and not wanting it.
Assalamu Alaikum wrwb,
I had a few questions regarding marriage and I have been very unclear and I need proper guidance on this. Around last year, I got engaged and it broke off due to some issues. However, when I get proposals, is it important for me to tell them this (whoever proposes)? Another question I had regarding marriage is that when I get proposals, I tend to automatically think to myself that I am going to say no, not for any particular reason, but simply just because I am not interseted, but I do istikhaara anyway, because although I am young, I am at a marriageable age and I don't want to lose my chances with a proposal and my parents play a big part because they often tell me or ask me what reason I have to say no which puts me in a lot of pressure. How do I know I am ready and how do I know it's good for me? I have heard of many sheikhs and ulama saying the signs of when you are ready for marriage and I feel like I don't meet some of them. Are my emotions playing a big role in this and am I being unreasonable with unnecessary doubts, or are my thoughts valid?

Jazakallahu Khayran
 
 
Answered by: Ulamaa ID 04 (London)
Date: 10/06/2026 18:45pm

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الجواب حامداومصليا

When looking for a spouse one first should look for their religion and character.

Allah is Al Razzaq (The provider), He provides sustenance, spouse and children.

Allah will help you, do not lose hope in Him.

وَلَا تَيْأَسُوا مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْأَسُ مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ

"Truly no one despairs of Allah's Soothing Mercy except those who have no faith. (Surah Yusuf 12:87)

Also it is important to be transparent with your situation when getting married whether it is about your health or previous divorce.

And Allah knows best.

24 Dhul Hijja 1447/ 10 May 2026
Mufti Qamruzzaman

London, UK
 
www.MuftiSays.com