| Source: | http://qa.muftisays.com/?13158 |
| Question ID: | #13158 |
| Question: marriage or religion? | |
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Peace be upon you, Sheikh and may Allah’s mercy and blessings be upon you. Respected Sheikh, May Allah preserve and bless you. I am a 27-year-old man who has been married for one year. Our marriage did not begin in the best way; both of us overlooked concerns, red lines, and warning signs, hoping that our differences could be overcome with time. My wife was clear from the beginning about her lifestyle, habits, and values, and that she had no intention of changing them. Nevertheless, I hoped that she might eventually reconsider or change with time. After many difficult experiences and disagreements, we have now reached a dead end. I recognize that I made mistakes at the start and should have been clearer and firmer regarding my boundaries and expectations. The situation now is that my wife has made the following conditions for continuing the marriage: * Frequent travel to Western countries for entertainment, events, parties, exhibitions, swimming, and similar activities. * Participating with her in movies, TV series, music, and games so that we can share common interests. * She does not intend to wear what I consider the proper Islamic hijab. Instead, she wishes to find alternative ways of dressing that still allow her to feel attractive, especially outside Arab countries and in front of her relatives. She rejects the abaya, and the maximum she is willing to wear is loose pants, a top with sleeves to the elbow, and a beanie covering her head. * She wants me to accept her as she is and not object to these choices. If I offer advice, she only wants it to be gentle and without insistence, and let her decide whether she wants to abide or not, as it is "none of my business" She is fully aware that I believe some of these matters contradict clear Islamic teachings. However, her response is that she has her own path with Allah, that she is trying in her own way, and that she does not accept being reminded through religious arguments or scriptural evidence. She has now given me an ultimatum: either I accept these conditions or we proceed with divorce. My question is: Is it permissible for me to limit myself to gentle advice in order to preserve the marriage, or should I end it if its continuation depends on compromising what I believe to be religious obligations? In such a situation, should preserving the marital bond take precedence, or should adherence to what I understand to be my religious duty take priority? my utmost appreciation |
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| Answered by: | Ulamaa ID 04 (London) |
| Date: | 05/06/2026 17:36pm |
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
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| Mufti Qamruzzaman London, UK |
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| www.MuftiSays.com | |