| Source: | http://qa.muftisays.com/?10776 |
| Question ID: | #10776 |
| Question: Divorcing over marriage rights | |
| Assalamwalaykum
Me and my husband are both writing this to have formal agreement of context. My husband had told me when before we got married that he would get separate housing for us an that him and his brother will both get married where we can have a place of security for the time being and then we can get a house. He and his brother are struggling to pay for the current house, but I want my own home being the wife and as it is my islamic right. I struggle living with my husbands brother and his wife as they feel privileged to spend more time around the house as well as me being the wife hearing backbiting of me and my husband for a long time as well as telling others falsehoods more so my sister inlaw then brither inlaw. We observe hijab so we refrain from mixing. We do get days alone at home however I don't want to live like it is not my home. To give more context both my husband and his brother are orphans and my husband says that they have no security other then this. However I want my islamic right and if not I am contemplating divorce as he has the mindset to live more like a wayfarer and he is very easy going and not so concerned about this sort of stuff but would like his own home when Allah grants it however I want my own home and space immediatelydue to what was told to me before marriage and wanting my mental health to clear. He has offered to separate rooms into kitchen, bathroom an toilet where he will build it with tight space but room sizes but I don't want to live like this living in the west. I want in a sense my own home not compromised space or structural change. We got married young and has only been couple of years but I can't stand this as it is affecting my mental health. My husband is supportive however says there are certain duties he has to fill and he will try his best, however he has also told me if I can not have sabr and stop always being concerned with the dunya - he has said I will need to fix my own issues as at that point he cannot help me as he believes at a certain point I as the wife need to get out of this state of mindset and he can only go so far as to being supportive. He has is flaws as well as myself but I struggle with understanding him and him not putting me as priority hoever in general we have a great relationship. He has made me closer to islam a lot and tries to refer to hadiths and the way of the life of the prophet, but we are not living in those times where I can have just a small space or live in those comdition - not looking down on it but i dont think many of us would want to. He reminds me how I am more privileged then 95% of the world however I do not feel this at all. Also my husband advises me to learn more of the deen instead of him saying it to me as he says I need to learn the deen myself instead of observing 'fake' social media. He also says that no matter who gives advice hadiths, quran or a scholar I will put my subjective feelings first no matter what. I can't deal with these feeling being the wife. |
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| Answered by: | Ulamaa ID 04 (London) |
| Date: | 06/09/2024 00:04am |
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
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| Mufti Qamruzzaman London, UK |
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| www.MuftiSays.com | |