| Source: | http://qa.muftisays.com/?10271 |
| Question ID: | #10271 |
| Question: Divorce | |
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Asalamualaikum, hope you are well I wanted some opinions despite having done a lot of research and finding little evidence to show real divorce from my wife but I wanted to clarify as everyday I am worried. I wanted to know opinions on all schools and the major opinion on these. From my research and others anecdotes I see there hasn’t ever been a divorce but I’m very scared all the time. 1. When I married my wife she said something about taking property from me unless we get a divorce as a joke or statement and I went “I will” that’s it, with 0 intention 0 thought just a lighthearted comment which I now see as very inappropriate and wrong. 2. During arguments or anger I may have said things like “I’m done” “go away” “leave me alone” “I can’t be bothered” “i can’t continue like this” “I don’t want someone like this” “I don’t want to be with you” With all these i specifically meant to say it out of frustration or in the moment I never wanted a divorce or I don’t remember and said it without any thought out of habit, but mainly I know never once I wanted divorce. 3. When my mum asked during an argument between us if I want to continue this marriage I said “not if she’s a lazy person” but with no intention of divorce I meant I don’t WANT to have to do it but I will and to be honest I don’t even care much if she stayed lazy I just said it without any thought. is this an implicit conditional divorce. Another time was when she was acting crazy and i said “if you keep acting crazy im gone” but I didn’t even think of divorce but now im thinking there is waswasah telling me I did even though im sure I haven’t and never will. I also text my older sister saying “I don’t want her” and later added “at the moment” with no intention either during argument back then. 4. My little baby sister asked me if she is my wife and I said “no she’s my friend”sarcastically, does this constitute as one, also where I live I told the people she is my girlfriend briefly as they are non Muslims but none of these were intended to make her that. I also may call her “bro” jokingly. On insurance sheets I put us both as not married as I thought that, we are not married according to UK law but just Islamic nikkah. 5. I’ve also thought about divorce once or twice or the words “I divorce you” in my head. other times to her I have said ” I have thought potentially we should maybe get a divorce” to her does any of this count. 6. I’ve also given conditional divorce and she has met the conditions instantly so does it not count? But then i doubt it for example once I said “come here or you are divorced” and she came and fulfilled it then walked away after a bit. Although i didn’t think for her to keep walking with me and didn’t think enough of the condition is the condition still fulfilled? I feel like it is and there isn’t any divorce because she did what I wanted and asked but just need clarification. Another example I said to give her phone password or she will be divorced and she didn’t do it and hesitated but I waited and I didn’t want it in that moment I specially thought within today and I reminded her it could be a divorce and I reminded again and she did it. Is this a divorce even though my condition wasn’t specific I just wanted the password around the moment of time she did it? With all these there was no intention of divorce. 7. I’m sorry for the vast array of messages but finally the other day my wife said she will go to someone to get a divorce done after some argument, and I said “go if you want” and she said “I will”. I later found out that you can delegate divorce to your wife by giving her right. My intention was to let her go and get her anger out and speak to imaam and see how silly this is and then come back, hers was to actually get a divorce which she later said she doesn’t ever want and doesn’t intend it now. Not once did I want her to go and the divorce to happen and never did I intend to “delegate” the right to her, and I didn’t know what it was. Is this counted? These are all immature mistakes and I’ve not argued since and won’t use such stupid language again. The issue is all the research points to none of these being a divorce except for one post saying “hanafi and hanbali take circumstantial evidence like anger or arguing as intention which leads to a divorce” but I never had an intention of divorce in any scenario ever. Please help me with all these instances, thank you. |
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| Answered by: | Ulamaa ID 04 (London) |
| Date: | 30/05/2024 20:06pm |
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
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| Mufti Qamruzzaman London, UK |
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| www.MuftiSays.com | |