Anonymous
1
I am in my early 20s.
Since around 15/16 I became reckless and careless by making many vows / oaths that are either too difficult to fulfill. But I really want to fulfill them.
The money I have vowed or made an oath to give to charity has accumulated past what I have (and that is from savings and inheritance.)
The salaah I have vowed or made an oath to give to charity has been too difficult.
If I would commit a sin I would say something like -
'Oh ALLAH SWT if I do this again I would pray 20 rakaats of Tawbah salaah till I turn 25(example). and every time I would sin I would increase if from 25 to 26. And the years would gradually increase.
I would also make vows that if I commit a sin I would give a certain amount of money in charity.
The thing is I have forgotten so many of the vows / oaths that I have said (although I do have a vague idea of some and I do want to fulfill them still.
In terms of the vows/oaths for giving money to charity, the amount of money that accumulated runs in the tens of thousands and I only recently recieved a temporary job after being unemployed for so long.
I do have some savings - so should I give all of it into charity.
(If the money that I vowed / made an oath to give is less than my savings should I give all of it? What if my savings are less? I am prepared to give all of it but I don't know if I should because giving some to my mother would be helpful.)
Should I give a portion from my salaries in the future for this cause?
If I do give charity due to vows and oaths can I also give it with intention of sadaqah for my prophet and parents and the ummah.
Also, in terms of the salaah - I used to strive daily to complete the twenty rakaats and I also found myself fortunate that I am offering an extra twenty rakaats. However this proved to be too difficult. So I cut down to ten rakaats. However, now I don't do any!
I have been reckless and careless with my tongue of spitting out too many vows and oaths and I really want to fulfill them. However, at present it is hard because I don't have the money for it or it is hard to do twenty rakaats every day for ten years.
I have made oaths that if I get good grades I will give a certain amount for each grade.
And I have made similar oaths such as I would give 10 pounds of my salary (when I get a job) every month for the rest of my life.
The thing is, I have made too many vows and oaths and I can only vaguely remember them and I am sure I have forgotten many.
I really want to fulfill all of them.
What should I do?