Shahid Ansari
1
Assalamu alaikum shaukh, I have so many compulsive waswas that I am living my life so depressed that I cannot tell others and I am a 15 years old boy. I can't even have a fun with others. I always live confused . I have a waswas of making oaths and vows .
Few days ago it came into my mind that I am swearing that I am going to close my father Facebook account and from then till now my waswas is going on and It gets out of control that I am not even open my mouth a bit. If I opened like I feel I make an oath . So to control I see many videos on youtube and try to make myself strong and when I am praying yesterday I make me feel free and tell myself that oaths cannot be made during salah and while praying my salah and reading surah in the salah I freed my waswas and thinks about my waswas freely and intentionally and making lots of oaths but not uttering it verbally because I am reading surah loudly so how can I make oath and i think about my waswas and not focusing on praying and then while reading surah Al nas I thought I swear? Because my mind towards thinking about making oath and I feel like I not read surah naas. And I feel like I make an oath . And I am compulsively feeling to delete my father Facebook account but if my father know he won't leave me beaten. And then I stop my compulsion forcefully . Because when one waswas came into my mind if I agree to my waswas it's gone and then I feel that i really make an oath and then new waswas came about to make oaths . when I argue with my waswas it doesn't gone.and I say to me if you closed your father facebook account then another waswas came and say close your mother facebook account and when you close your mother facebook and then another waswas came in future that close your bank account and then I become mental. And then thinking that it is shaytan depressing me . This comes when I talk and pray it feels like that I uttered my waswas. Please explain clearly. I indulged into my thoughts while reading Qur'an and read Qur'an and then I thinks that I have not read it . I come to know about surah baqarah ayah no. 286 that allah do not burden any soul more than as much as he can bear and when I wake up from sleep to pray fajr in morning and asr in afternoon I feel like no one in this world is for me . Can I follow the fatwa that "whoever is driven by obsessive whispering in oaths and other acts of worship is not considered sinful". I feels that allah will punish me. I feel that I have sworn while reading surah nas loudly. I doesn't differentiate between my voice and whispering . Please explain correctly. May Allah az wajal have mercy on you for writing my answer .
