Marriage - Issues

Assalaamu alaikum

I was informed that a child conceived prior to nikah but born after 6 months of nikah may inherit from the father. This was a fatwa issued by an Ulema body in Nagtal, South Africa based on Hanafee madhab. THe other madhab however says that the child does not inherit at all. Which is the correct opinion?

(1) What is the minimum level of voice required for Talaq to be effective?
(2) Sometime, in our day-to-day life, out of anger or anxiety or some other reason, we express our wish or desire to do or say certain things. Example, � I should eat such and such food today�, �I should go and say such and such thing to such and such person clearly� etc etc. Here, we are NOT actually doing the thing but merely thinking about doing it. We later on, may or may not do that thing.
In a similar manner, if a husband says Talak, Talak, Talak, while imagining his wife and thinking that �HE SHOULD� give Talak to his wife, does the Talak happen? He did not ACTUALLY MEANT GIVING TALAK, he was merely thinking (comprehending) about it that this is what he should do.

Assalaamu Alaykum

Question regarding actual divorce statement and metaphors:

1) If someone is holding in their hand a bottle of drink Or a receipt or money Or a book Or some clothes Or a general paper for normal use and there might be some possible metaphors already printed on these and then all of a sudden that person gives these to the wife with intention without speaking or saying anything OR has intention whilst holding these, OR puts on a already printed poster with metaphors already written with intention in mind(does not say anything or write ), would that count? Or whilst holding these they look at the metaphors that are already printed on these and have intention in their mind and give these to the wife without speaking, would that count?

2)If someone clicks on a metaphor or the actual statement on the computer using a mouse or clicks on a link which then brings up metaphors or clicks on an actual statement or a link using the mouse on the computer with intention, would that count? No metaphor or statement is written themselves.

3)If someone points to the door or uses other hand actions with intention and dont speak , would that count?

4) If someone say 'friends' or mentions a name or says parent with intention would that count?

5) If someone writes a metaphor without intention. After a moment due to confusion I thought there was intention when I wrote it, but after some thinking I realised there wasn't. So I think I verbally said to myself ' there was no intention at the time of writing the metaphor but the intention came AFTER a short while of writing this word'. And then after some more thinking I then said to myself ' there was no intention at all''. Could you tell me if this would count if I did say this? Also I would like to know If there was no intention at the time of writing the metaphor, but the intention came after 1-2 seconds, would that count? Please note that there was no intention when the metaphor was written

Aslaam Alaikum I have some questions relating to the same topic. I firstly like to apologise about the length of the question. Please reply.

1) I am suffering from very bad waswasa of divorce thoughts lately, which come to me without my will or intention. Because i am suffering from waswasa everything i say becomes a real struggle of the mind. If i say something to anyone or read quran or a book, something in my head makes me believe that i am saying these things to my wife. For example i might be getting angry towards my brother but something in my mind makes me believe that i am saying these words to my wife. Or if I have a book or papers or clothes in my hand and something in my head makes me feel that there is a metaphor on there and makes me feel there is intention. What do I do? please tell me how to solve this problem of unintentional thoughts? Everytime I talk or write, something makes me feel that there is intention, but in reality I have no intention. I am struggling. BECAUSE OF THIS CONDITION I FEEL THERE IS A LACK OF SELF CONTROL IN ME AND I AM SCARED THAT BECAUSE OF THIS I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO CONTROL MY INTENTIONS AND MY THOUGHTS, WHAT DO I DO?

2) At one point I was at my in-laws and I was standing by the door waiting for my wife. My sister in law asked me if I was going, it was just a general/normal question. At first I didn't reply because of these thoughts, because they make me feel that I am aiming it towards my wife, but really I have no intention. So she asked me again and I said 'yes/yeah'. At that moment something in my head made me feel that I am saying 'yes/yeah' to divorce. But really I have no intention and I don't intend to. I would like to know what the ruling would be IF there was intention in saying of 'yes/yeah' to a normal general question as explained, would that count?

3)If someone writes just their signature with intention (in their mind) on plain paper or a business contract or a document or a general printed paper sitting on a table with possible metaphors printed on, would that count? No verbal speech is spoken or anything written by them self or given except the writing of the signature

4) If someone is holding in their hand a bottle of drink Or a receipt or money Or a book Or some clothes Or a general paper for normal use and there might be some possible metaphors already printed on these and then all of a sudden that person gives these to the wife with intention without speaking or saying anything OR has intention whilst holding these, OR puts on a already printed poster with metaphors already written with intention in mind(does not say anything or write ), would that count? Or whilst holding these they look at the metaphors that are already printed on these and have intention in their mind and give these to the wife without speaking, would that count?

5)If someone clicks on a metaphor or the actual statement on the computer using a mouse or clicks on a link which then brings up metaphors or clicks on an actual statement or a link using the mouse on the computer with intention, would that count? No metaphor or statement is written themselves.

6)If someone points to the door or uses other hand actions with intention and dont speak , would that count?

7) If someone say 'friends' or mentions a name or says parent with intention would that count?

8) If someone writes a metaphor without intention. After a moment due to confusion I thought there was intention when I wrote it, but after some thinking I realised there wasn't. So I think I verbally said to myself ' there was no intention at the time of writing the metaphor but the intention came AFTER a short while of writing this word'. And then after some more thinking I then said to myself ' there was no intention at all''. Could you tell me if this would count if I did say this? Also I would like to know If there was no intention at the time of writing the metaphor, but the intention came after 1-2 seconds, would that count? Please note that there was no intention when the metaphor was written.

9) Also I would like to know, if a person WRITES e-mail to find out the ruling and on the e-mail its written that they said or wrote a metaphor with intention, but in reality they didn't say it or write it with intention or the metaphor was never spoken, would that count just because they wrote in the email that they said it or wrote it with intention, when really there was no intention at the time of saying or writing or it was not spoken ?

10) If someone is in doubt and confused about saying a statment or a metaphor to his wife and says 'I said the statement.....etc' and then after some thinking he says I didn't say it and it was all doubt and confusion, would that count just because he said that he said it?

11) If someone says Withdraw/s or return or returned, or (Turja'oon which means returned, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

12) If someone says Waladaaleen in Surah Fatiha and the intention is on the 'went' word (those who went astray ), would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

13) If someone says location or a name of a place, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

14) If someone says old or out of date/d, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

15) If someone says that's enough or 'off, would that count? Nothing else is uttered. 16) If someone says Liberation would that count?

17) If someone says 'To move briskly or spiritedly' , to it, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

18) If someone asks that have you any child and that person says 'not yet' with intention, would that count? Do metaphors need to be said directly to the person or indirectly? If I have confused you please ask me.Please forgive me if this is in length and strange.

19) If a person asks another person to write a word that is a possible metaphor with the intention in the MIND but does not say the intention to the person and only asks to write the word, can that happen?

20)If someone say an address or the first line for an address, would that count?

Please reply. Jazakalla

Salam-Alay-Kum,
Sir, almost three months back my self and my wife we were staying alone in Bahrian just before ramadan we both had a big fight and that time she was in her monthly cycle infact the matter was out of hands and we beat each other and in anger she first gave Talaq to me by taking Allah as Gawah to which i have called her parents in India and inform the same and called my family as well and was talking to them during that time as well she was still shouting at me and using bad language and that time I was too at the highest level of my anger and really out of my mind which I never encountered in my life till date.
While I was still on phone talking to my mummy and Bahbi and she abusing me in anger have said that I take you (bhabi) as gawah and divorce her (thrice) which I even doesn't recollect and my bhabi says I said it thrice.
After 3 days she went to India and since then she is staying at her house and not at my house and both of us are not in physical contact since then but we talk once in a while. but since that day have not talked abt divorce at all nor she remembers the incident as she has not inform her parents about it as well.
My question to you sir is does my Talaq counts or not under this conditions. as I am confused have ref to the Sahi Bukhari Sahrif and in that it is clear mentioned that under these circumstance (she in her Monthly Cycle) doesn�t count. even if I gave her once or thousand times. And secondly if your really out of our mind and pronounced divorce thrice does it counts.

Can you please guide me sir it about my..

the basic cause of fight was she never listen to me and has some extra marital affairs (count. before and after marriage) but still I love her most.


Allah Hafiz

Salam, i have been confused for over 8 years now. In my first year of marriage (september 2001) my wife went to my sisters house against my wish i was angry but after 1 or 2 hours i was just reading bashti zewar on the rules of talaq, out of the blue i just said the word talaq once loudly then i stopped and got worried. ALL i can remember now is when i said the word talaq i had no intention of divorce, i was by my self and when saying the word talaq i dont think i directed to my wife.(but not sure, very confused - cant make conclusion)

After many months passed (january 2002) i totally forgot the above issue and i was at work when a person question me on rules of talaq in the prayer room, He was asking me about 3 talaq rule so i was just saying talaq 3 times loudly with no thought at all of my wife or divorce but whilst saying the talaqs loudly a mistake of my wife came in my mind and i think after i directed 2 talaq to her. Does this talaq count because i was going to say 3 talaqs anyway.

After this (second) incident i became very confused thinking did i say 2 or 3 talaqs so i made dua to Allah and i saw a good dream and some one saying your wife is your wife.

But after many months (april 2002) passed i was sitting in the toilet and i remembered of the first incident. i have alot of doubt if the first incident counts as talaq, after i said it then i thought it counted as talaq but at that time i was very young and did not know the rules. Since then i have had two children and doing the work of deen but this issue is nagging my brain. Im really confused because these incidents happened many years ago and i cant remember that clearly in detail. Please give me a reply as soon as possible.

AA,

I have a question regarding talaq.
I have been for married for 3 month and am currently in a situation that a month ago my husband said that he in his anger had given me talaq 4 times, first time saying it 2 times and again two times two days later, meaning a total of 4 times. He believed that it should have been said three times in a row. I on the other hand I contradict that he never has given me talaq. He has only threatened to say the word.
According to many scholars it is equal to talaq and that only halala is required if I want to re-marry my husband.
I have on the other hand also read other statements where it says that no matter how many talaqs you give the once, that will only be count as 1. Additionally I have also read that each talaq must be given after each �iddat� time. I am therefore very confused even though we both want to be together we also want to assure that we do it the right way. They also emphasize if there is any confusion one must always follow what the Quran and our prophet has stated.
With reference to the following:
� Surah Al Baqarah, Ch. v.228-240
� Surah Al Talaaq Ch.65 v.1-7
� Surah Al Nisa Ch. 4 v. 35

And Sahih Muslim Vol. 2 Bk. Of Divorce Hadith no. 3491:

Ibn 'Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) reported that the (pronouncement) of three divorces during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and that of Abu Bakr and two years of the caliphate of Umar (Allah be pleased with him) (was treated) as one. But Umar b. Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) said: Verily the people have begun to hasten in the matter in which they are required to observe respite. So if we had imposed this upon them, and he imposed it upon them.

Based upon the above, I would appreciate an answer to my question. In case the answer is that divorce has taken place, please also answer why that contradicts with what the prophet has stated (Sahih Muslim Vol. 2 Bk. Of Divorce Hadith no. 3491), and if the divorce has not taken place please advice me what do I need to do to be with my husband again?

Assalaamu Alaykum

Question regarding actual divorce statement and metaphors:

1) If someone says old or out of date/d, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

2) If someone says that's enough or 'off, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

3) If someone says Liberation would that count?

4) If someone says 'To move briskly or spiritedly' , to it, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

5) If someone asks that have you any child and that person says 'not yet' with intention, would that count? Do metaphors need to be said directly to the person or indirectly? If I have confused you please ask me.Please forgive me if this is in length and strange.

6) If a person asks another person to write a word that is a possible metaphor with the intention in the MIND but does not say the intention to the person and only asks to write the word, can that happen?

7)If someone say an address or the first line for an address, would that count? Please reply. Jazakalla

Mera meri biwi ke saath kisi baat par jhagda ho gaya. Jhagde ke waqt main kuch nahin bola, lekin jab dusre din main nahane ke liye gaya to ekdam se pichle kal ki baat yaad aa gaayi. Eesa lag raha tha mano pichle kal ki puri film mere dimaag main wapas chal rahi ho aur main kal wala manzar goya meri aankhon ke samne dekh raha tha, mano main khud hi maazi (past) main chala gaya hun. Usi waqt mere dimag main yeh khayaal aaya ki pichle kaal mujhe aisa karna chahiye tha aur yeh bhi soch raha tha ki aagar wapas meri biwi kal wali harkat kare, to main aisa karoonga aur phir main wapas wohi pichle din ka sara manzar mere dimag main dekhta hun. Lekin iis baar main yeh sochta hun ke main jis jagah pichle din betha tha, wahan se uthta hun aur apni biwi ko to tamache lagata hun. Maine tamache lagane ka ishara apne haathon se bakayda kiya aur phir main talak de rahan hun aur meine 3 time talak, talak , talak kaha. Waise to yeh sab pichle kal ka manzar sochte huye mere khayalon main hi ho raha tha lekin maine apni zubaan se 3 dafa talak, talak, talak aada kiya. Aaad karne se mera matlab yeh hai ki maine usko kaha lekin bagair awaz ke kaha, mere laab to hile lekin koi awaaz na nikli. Mujhe paaka yakeen hai ki aagar koi mere bazu main khada hota to woh usko na sunne paata aur agar farz kare kuch bhinbhinahat si sunta bhi, to use pata nahin chalta ki maine kya kaha.

Mujhe aap se mashwara lena hai ki kya is suraat main talaaq ho gayi?

Mujhe please iska jawab de kar mere dil par se boojh ko halka karain. Iski wajah se main bahoot beechen hon.

Allah aap ko khoob, khoob jazae khair aata kare aur aap ke ilm main aur umar main barkat aata Karen. Aamin.

PS: You can write answer in English.

- Salim.

assalamu alaykum
if a husband says to his wife shall i say the three words,(he doesnt say it though) then he tells the wife to get out of his house,(at the same time), will this be a talaq? please could you let me know as soon as possible,jazakallah
wassalam

[Personal information removed]

I have been married previously and have a daughter from my previous marriage. My husband who was also married previously has a daughter too. Since my daughter married my husband's nephew with choice and he wanted his daughter to marry him, he's broken all ties at home and we've had no relations since.

I need some guidance of how I am to continued to live my life in this situation. Please be aware I have never asked for a divorce it has been my husband who seeks it.

Admin Note:
The original question has been edited so the public can still benefit from the answer.

asalaamu alikum wrwb,

Q- a man has pronunced i divorce you to his wife, upon hearing this she left assuming she is divorced. it has been a year since he gave her the divorce, is the woman divorced now? or can he take her back?

is the divorce only valid pronunced three times in three occassions or 3 times on one occassion? does this tallaq pronunced once with husband having no intention to take wife back a valid talaq?
Jazakullahire brother for answering this very importan question facing a sister in islam.

Assalamu-a-laikum
I have read previously, that if a man and woman have seperated without talaaq been given they are still married no matter the time frame, i have also heard previously that nikah is broken if a man and wife do not have intercourse for a certain perios of time. Could this please be clarified?. As it does not make much sense.

Assalamu ' Alaykum
I am in love with a married man and he feels the same about me. We are not together but really like each other a lot. He is prepared to have a second wife but i am really scared. I have been married once before. He has got children and is 10 years older than me.He is also not happy in his marriage. How do i approach this. Please advise.
Jazakallah Khair

18 months ago I wrote a talaq on a piece of paper as follows:"due to a breakdown in our marriage on the grounds of incompatibility, and by mutual agreement, i (name) hereby proclaim one talaq upon you (name). The terms for reconciliation shall be according to islamic shariah. If in this time we are able to reconcile our differences, then there shall be no sin upon us to come back together as husband and wife. After this period, the talaq shall become irrevocable".
Question is could I re-marry my ex-wife now given that I have given only one talaq and it has been 18 months since, but I did use the word irrevocable?

I have been seeing a married man or the past year, I only started seing him because of the pain he has endured all his life, I thought everyone deserves to be loved.

However when I went abroad I came back and carried on seeing him, its been a couple of months and his wife has just had a child but he still wants a future with me.

what do I do? Is this a sin i'm committing?

Assalam o alaikum

i have been in nikah for more than 8 years, since my nikah i have never been in a sexual relationship with my husband (as he never ever wanted to) but only kissing and hugging and thats it. my question is if i get divorce from him, will i be due to any iddah? please do reply as soon as possible.
also we have been apart for more than 4 years (never seen eachother's faces) i am alway told by everyone that i am not his wife anymore and i am free to nikkah to somebody else, please let me know what is right and what is wrong.
may Allah swt give you peace in this world and the herafter.
parveen
from pakistan.

salaam
my uncle has recently been died, my aunti (his widow) is not young but old (not too old but around 50s) she has not been able to produce any kids for ages. now is she still due to iddah? many say that it would be 'sawab' but she is not due to it.
wassalaam

why r men allowed to to marry 4 women, wile women only one man--- asked by a friend...got confused....

elaborate the answer please

jazakallah

As salamum aliekum repected ulamah,
I am a newly married mulsimah & my husband does not provide for me, we struggle and are now selling all our wedding gifts to make amends, he keeps saying that we are not on this earth for long and we could die anytime, he makes excuses that he doesnt want to work with the kuffar as times have become racist, he is practising alhamdulilah but with these unconstructive views I can see our marriage wont last very long, my grandad out of pity when he visits gives me some money but I feel so guilty taking off him because he such an old man. How can I encourage my husband, what is his role in this society, I know all my friends husbands who practice islam work but he doesnt even try arguing that kitamat is near & money isnt everything. I need to sort things out as I am expecting my first child soon.
Please please advise what shall I do & what appraoch can I take with my husband. what words of wisdom can u share with me ?
jazza kalla khairun.