Marriage - Issues

Over an conversation My wife asked me for talaq in anger and i said i cannot give you talaq. So she said if you will not give me talaq then i will suicide so for her life I just said talaq for three time but did not mean it. I do not want to give her talaq. Please help me Is my talaq occurred or not.

i am a girl of 27 years. i was in realtionship with a man of 49 years. i had a nikkah with him 2 years ago in a mosque without knowing my parents. but after my nikkah we have all the relation of husband and wife with each other. but my husband used to give me say me i divorce u many times. even 3 divorces at a time but before the iddah period he revokes to me and build a realtion of husband and wife again. it has been done 4 to 5 time same case he repeat the divorce and then revoke in iddah period as a husband wife. i want to ask am i still his wife? or i am haram to him? is it permissble to me to go to his bed?

السالام علايكم

I was wondering if you could translate this dream for me,

‘I was printing of divorce papers and about to sign it’

Then the dream stopped there

as-Salam`alaykum.

Bakar [real identity concealed] has been emotionally and physically abusing his wife. His in-laws sat with him in a meeting to sort the matter out. During this meeting, Bakar angrily remarked that if they interfered in his matters again, 'it [the marriage] is finished'.

1. Does this constitute Talaq?
2. If so, when would it materialise?

Jazak Allah khayra for any forthcoming assistance in this matter.
(Question posted as received)

Is Deferred Dowry payable only on death or divorce,
secondly is there any limitations to the amount of dowry,
furthermore if a gift (asset,property) is given to the wife to the value of the deferred dowry, and it's mutually understood and accepted that it's in respect of the deferred dowry, is this acceptable.?
Jazak-Allah
(Question posted as received)

Salaam,

My brother has been newly married for 7 months it was an arranged marriage, he now wants to break of his marriage due to the fact he does not get along with his wife and feels that there is no connection between them. There were also a few secrets which he found out about her that she didnt mention proir to the wedding because they were introduced to eachother and spoke for a few weeks leading to the wedding. Now he just seems to not want to forget these faults about her and wants to seperate. They have gone to imams who have explained they should keep trying but he has made up his mind.

However divorce in my family will be a big deal and possibly break the family.

Please advice me and perhaps a few hadiths and what does the quran and hadiths say about the breaking of a marriage. I know divorce is not liked by allah but are two people ment to stay with eachother and stay astray? would it be better just to seperate and find new spouses?

He explained that there just doesnt seem to be any love growing, no noor in his heart for her at all.

what would you suggest

please advice as best as u can. eagerly await your reply

jazakallah

Asalaamalaikum,

Two years back me & my husband had an argument & on being coerced he unintentionally wrote talak 3 times & sent it to me. I had it checked and Mufti saab said in your site that unintentional written talak is not valid. However another Mufti said it should be considered as 1st talak. My husband took me back within the 1 week itself. We have been living like normal husband & wife in these past 2 years whenever we meet as he was staying in Australia & I was in India.

However he is now staying with another spanish woman withoot being married to her, we still share husband wife relationship since the past 6 months that I am in this country. Now he wants to give me a court divorce not by shariah law and says its only to terminate the legal marriage that we had in India so he can have a court marriage with her. Will this affect my islamic marriage too.

Please can Muftisaab help me as I am very concerned I don't want a divorce for the sake of me 5 year old daughter.

Jazzakallah.

Misbah

Me and my hubby is far away from each other and we use to exprience sex on phone and i get wet.do i need to take ghusul after that?although physically we didn't do it.even then?

Assalam Alaikum,
A couple of years ago I got my daughter married to my nephew through a fake nikkah. Both parties agreed to file for the fake nikkah, and the intention was to get my nephew legal in the United States through my daughter’s citizenship. I told my nephew and his mother that I will only marry my daughter to him if he completes his education in the States, and they agreed upon my condition. My brother in-law (Father of my nephew) deceived me and turned this fake nikkah into an actual nikkah with witnesses and a Molvi. My daughter and I were not aware that the actual nikkah is taking place and when my daughter was told to sign on the documents she signed assuming it was only fake paper work. Later on an argument erupted between both families and my nephew and his mom (My sister) stated that my daughter was in his nikkah and she cannot marry anyone until he divorces her. This is when I found out that I got deceived. Later, our problems got solved and we agreed to sponsor him as my daughter’s fiancé, since it was a less hassle and much faster process. All went well and he came to the US with no problems. Later my daughter filed for marriage in the American civil court (Not a sharia marriage though). Afterwards arguments between the two families started to erupt again. He later stated that he wants his green card and that was the sole reason for the marriage. He said he will give my daughter divorce if she gives him the green card. My daughter refused and told him she wants divorce from him. So later he said “You want talaq” then he said “talaq talaq talaq” and then again “talaq talaq talaq”. He didn’t say I give you talaq or he didn’t mention my daughter’s name either. Now he says he never gave her talaq and she is still in his nikkah. During this whole period, my daughter and nephew lived separately and there was no expenses given to my daughter by my nephew. So there was no husband and wife relationship in this marriage. Now coming to the main point was this nikkah valid in the first place? If yes, then was the divorce given by him valid or not?

Jazzak ALLAH Kharyum. I'm in a great state of bother and not sure if I can get my daughter wedded. I would appreciate if I can get a fatwa on this issue.

assalamoalikum.
In June 2008 my husband was asked to leave our property by the court for unreasonable behaviour due to violence and suspicions over 16 years. I received a decree nisi from the court as we had a financial hearing at the court with regard to properties. My husband kept one property and I received the other as I have 3 children.
My relationship with my husband had broken down about 1 year prior to that in 2007.
Since then we have lived separate in separate properties and we do not communicate unless absolutely necessary relating to the children, etc.
1. My husband did not issue the Islamic divorce up to now and neither of us applied for the decree absolute.
I need to know is my marriage still valid or are we islamically divorced due to the length of time we have been separated?
I don’t think we feel that we will be getting back together again as we don’t even communicate and relationship has broken down completely.
June 2013 we will have been separated for 6 years.
2. If we are islamically divorced then what do I do in terms of iddat? I live alone with 3 children with no family or relatives in Leicester. I work part time and I cannot leave my job as I am the only breadwinner and my husband does not pay maintenance. He pays me £20 a week through the child support agency. I work to support my children and pay all the bills.if asked to pay me maintenance, he will refuse and work will not give me time off for iddat. However, during the 1st year of my separation, I did not really go anywhere except work and shops. Does this not count as iddat?
jazakallaj

Assalamoalaikum, my last question ID is 4192 and asking the same question but Just wanted to add few more things to explain the situation better.

1.The husband i referred in last question(4192) is my husband and he said to me in fight and anger that 'If you want me I will sign the divorce papers' and then I stopped him to say anything further then he said with anger ' Na its finished' about 2 times. Later I asked his intention he said he meant to say that he wont accept my apology after that fight means he did not want to talk to me that night. He said he did not have any intention of divorce. My husband said that he never knew that divorce can be given verbally. He thought it can be only given by mutual consent and signing the divorce papers. He only came to know about it when I told him after that fight mentioned above.

2. Ater that fight I was going through lots of reasearching regarding divorce telling about direct and indirect words so i was getting stressed out that he has said things to me in past in anger like get out, find another husband etc but me and my husband never knew and notice cause we did not know that these kinds of statements/words can constitute divorce. But i don't remember exactly what else he had said . But if the intention is required my husband said he never knew that verbally divorce can be given. Therefore, whatever he said he never had any intention of divorce or ending marriage.

3.What i remember from the past he never said direct words of divorce except the one "if you want me i will go to the court and sign divorce papers." ( mentioned above). I asked him whether he can put his hand on Quran pak saying he had no intention of divorce. He said yes he can put his hand on Quran pak. He is very sure that he never had any intentions by whatever he has or may have said to me even in the past because he never knew divorce can be done verbally.

Is our marriage valid?

Sorry for repeating my question but actually I thought I did not add all the information.

JazakAllah Khair

Asalaamu alaikum.
I am confused as to whether or not these talaaqs are valid. My husband has said it 3 times at 3 different occasions, he argues they are not valid as they were in anger.
The first one was in an argument where we both verbally abused each other & i swore at him & told him to divorce me & he said talaaq this took place over the phone, he then took me back.

The second time was in an argument on facebook and he also said talaaq again & then took me back.

The third time was also over facebook in a heated argument which again involved us being abusive to one another & me telling him to divorce me, this time he said ur taaliqa taaliqa taaliqa...is this translation valid? After he said it he sent a message saying the divorce isnt for me or for Allah, its for your sake & Allah knows what is in my heart.

I would be greatful if you could assist me in this as he argues that the first 2 are not valid. I havent spoken to him since he said it the third time as i would like the matter to be cleared first. We also have 2 children involved.

JazakhaAllah khair sister umm esa.

Assalamoalaikum ,

I have a question regarding divorce.

A husband said to his wife during fight and anger that ' If you want I will go to the court and sign the divorce papers'. After that his wife stopped him to not say anything further. The husband then said about 2 times that 'its finished'.

Later when the intention of husband was asked behind saying 'its finished' he said that he just intended to say that no reconcilation will take place ( means he won't speak to his wife that night). He said he did not think about either marriage or divorce when he said the words its finished.

What about if a husband says at other occasion to his wife in anger " Go find another husband" but had no intention of divorce. The husband was asked by wife whether he can put his hand on Quran and say that he had no intentions of divorce or ending marriage by the words he said (mentioned above). He then said 'yes' he can put his hand on Quran that whatever he said he never intended for divorce or ending the marriage.


Please answer this question as soon as possible. Is this marriage still valid according to hanafis?

JazakAllah khair

Should i tell my future husband that i am not a virgin?

EXTRAS:
please could you also tell me a dua that can lessen the burden of guilt and disgust from my heart and a dua that i can ask for forgiveness.

Assalamualaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

I pray to Allah, this email reaches you in the best of health and imaan.
First of all I would like to say Ramadhan Mubarak.

I have emailed you today, as I wish to require some advice.

I am 21 years of age, studying in my final year university. I come from a gujratti background.

Many years ago, when i was at the age of 14 I got involved with a boy which was the biggest mistake I have ever made. After this incident I promised myself and swore on Allah I would not become emotionally attached to another male. Alhamdulillah with the help of Allah, I managed to change my life around taking small steps changing myself and my ways. mashAllah throughout sixth form I managed to build the barrier with the brother in my class. Alhamdulillah this allowed the brothers to build some respect for me where they would not speak in the wrong context with myself.

My first two years at university were the same, where in I had no contact with brothers. However earlier this year in March, I came across an online forum. i joined up ( I do admit it wasnt the best online forum to join) initially when I joined, I thought it was a forum where people would discuss islamic issues and give advice. There was alot of this occuring which was Alhamdulillah good. However if we needed help with something we could post and someone would reply if they were happy to assist. At this time i was preparing a presentation for a university project, I needed help in converting a recording to mp3 format. I posted on the forum as I was desperate for help, and a brother replied with assistance. He asked for me to send him the file and he would convert it for me. I shouldn't have gone ahead with this decision but I did. After this assitance the brother of pakistani background and I began to speak online.

After speaking to him , I became aware, he was very involved in the dawah scene and he had a genuine passion for deen. we would speak alot about islam. slowly unfortunately, astagfirullah I began to feel some kind of attachement and feeling towards him. The passion for deen was just amazing, he spends alot of time in the company of his local Imam. He helped me improve my life, encouraging me to pray five times a day.. alhamdulillah which I now am. I am in full hijab for a couple of years, yet I found it difficult with my family to practice wearing the hijab on a full time basis. I now with this brothers encouragement wear full black attire, my parents and brother don't approve as they remark 'where are you going in the hardcore hijab style'.


However the brother requested we stop talking as it is not halal, which I totally agree and the times we did talk, I continue to repent.

We discussed marriage, he has asked for my fathers phone number, as he wishes for his father to contact mine after he comes back from hajj, I would approve, but I do not wish to hurt my parents, as they wouldnt approve of a 'pakistani son in law'.

I would like some advice how to solve this situation? what do I do? I have considered isthikara but im not 100% sure on the rulings and methods.

I would llike your advice in regards to what you believe is the correct route to take?

Jazakamullah Kayrun

Assalamualaikum, I used to work with a girl almost two years ago and I used to like her then but never asked her what she feels about me. After waiting for two years, I have not found a girl and I also found out that she has also not been married(I texted her and asked her indirectly).In recent nights(after texting her) ,I say a dream in night as if I and her are having pleasant conversation. This happened before I woke up for fajar. I am very confused since the girl is good but there are lots of hindrances and I also don't know whether she likes me or not. I am also thinking of moving back to my country of origin to support my parents and this makes the whole thing even more complicated. I seek assistance on how to take matter further in this issue. Shall I text her and ask her how she feels about me or shall I let her go completely?I request you to guide me with your knowledge.

salams
i am a busy mother to six children,wear full niqaab
i have a ever sex demanding husband,which is very hard at times to make his need fulfil
he usually needs fulfilling around 2-3 times a week,sometimes more & sometimes less
when i come on my periods it becomes a nightmare for him to deal with,all he wants to do is get in there,my period lasts up to 7 to 10 days.
i do come to him & try my best to comfort him but that's not enough,he needs more & wants more,he undresses me & then ends up nearly doing it which in turn i feel very very upset & angry,as i know it is a sin & haram
i too get very tired with waking up early morning,sending kids off to school,doing rounds for school & madrassah while he his all day at work,when i come on my period it like a week off for me,but it doesn,t end there,his like wants to caress me all the time and im so not in the mood
recently i have avoided him during this period & sleeping away from him i.e not next to him,but he has now found another way to full fill him from his internet mobile where he sees nude photos,he says he has only done it once but i have seen recent dates where he had been on this
he is a very decent man i would say & usually i am very aware of him being on the internet ect.i know he can get carried away with his sexual desires & i do ground him very badly when i do find out his been looking at nude stuff over the internet,meaning not talk to him or threaten him to leave because i have alot of hate for people watching nude stuff when you have a wife that gives you everything!
i dress up many times at night for him & wear the most skimpiest underwear i can find to please him & look beautiful for him,then why the complain?
and now this nude viewing!
why i ask?
i have asked from allah many times to make his desire a bit less so i can cope with,as i too am a human being & believe it or not all busy mothers sometimes just want a good night sleep after a tiring day
please advise

asalamalaikum brother,I would like to ask you regarding divorce.
If a man says to his wife 'do not do a certain act or I have divorced you Three times.[if you do the act]'.Then later he says I didnt mean it ,its ok now if you do the act.So his wife does the act thinking its ok .Is she divorced or not and if so is she divorced three times ?
I would like to add that the man does not follow any mazhab in particular and says the divorce is not valid,according to his beliefs.I will be grateful for your help.jazakAllah

Assalaamu Alaykum

Question regarding actual divorce statement and metaphors:

1) I would like to know, if a person WRITES e-mail to find out the ruling and on the e-mail its written that they said or wrote a metaphor with intention, but in reality they didn't say it or write it with intention or the metaphor was never spoken, would that count just because they wrote in the email that they said it or wrote it with intention, when really there was no intention at the time of saying or writing or it was not spoken ?

2) If someone is in doubt and confused about saying a statment or a metaphor to his wife and says 'I said the statement.....etc' and then after some thinking he says I didn't say it and it was all doubt and confusion, would that count just because he said that he said it?

3) If someone says Withdraw/s or return or returned, or (Turja'oon which means returned, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

4) If someone says Waladaaleen in Surah Fatiha and the intention is on the 'went' word (those who went astray ), would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

5) If someone says location or a name of a place, would that count? Nothing else is uttered.

Salaam,
I have a question,
I gave a freind some advice which was very bais, Will I get sin for that, although I made it very clear that it was just my advice.

I was very young wen I gave this advice (only 18), I told some one they should get a divorce, I had my reasons to give this advice.

But I was scared wen I found out that divorce is one of the most disliked of halal things in ALLAH's creation.

The couple didnt get a divorce, so that proves they didnt take my advice.
But the fact remains that I still gave some1 that advice.

W/Salaam