Marriage - Issues

Asalamualaikum just have a question. For these hypothetical scenario.

1) if a hypothetical man is suffering from waswasah and says to himself constantly “ never leave no matter what” but he accidentally doesn’t say the “never” and accidentally out loud only says “leave no matter what” or from that whole sentence only says out loud “ leave” and there’s no intention at all of Divorce does that do anything in all wordings?

2) similarly if a man because of waswasah all the time randomly says out loud “ leave” without thinking of the rest of the sentences with no intention at all of Divorce does that do anything ?

3) if a hypothetical man in a hypothetical scenario says
“I’ll leave if you do this” or “I’ll leave if you don’t do this” and there’s no intention at all of does that do anything in all wordings? The man is just angry and says as a threat it to get her to do what he wants.

4) and if the hypothetical man in the hypothetical scenario is asked by his hypothetical wife if he intended to Divorce her by saying that and he lies and says “yes“ even though he doesn’t intend it at all he just lies and says “yeah” so she listens does that do anything?

5- if a hypothetical man in a hypothetical scenario says to his sister “I don”t want her” referring to his wife, or he says to his wife
“I don”t want you” it’s all just out of frustration
And anger and there’s no intention at all of Divorce does that do anything in all wordings?

6- when referring to hypothetical scenario or scenarios in my life which you confirmed that Divorce definitely doesn’t occur. In my question I have mistakenly said something similar to “Ive also given conditional divorce” ( which I haven’t done Ever at all I just said it as I was explaining the scenario to you back then and mistakenly wrote it ) there’s no intention at all of Divorce

or put the word “divorce” in the question title does that do anything in all wordings and anything else similar to that?there’s no intention at all of Divorce

Jazaka Allah for all your help may Allah reward you immensely

Asalamualaikum

Hypothetically in Islam if a hypothetical man has an OCD he has a thought that” if he doesn’t or does do that then “divorce” “ so he does stuff for example it could be anything like opening the door multiple times or switching the light off multiple times after. the fact that this hypothetical man listens to the thought and act on it do anything ? Or starts to do with action or is in the middle of it and stop himself does that do anything? or if he can’t do the action for any reason? there’s no intention at all of Divorce ,does that do anything in all scenarios or anything similar?
May you be rewarded

Asalamualaikum hope you are well I never did this or ever will I just suffer from extreme waswasah that why I’m asking this hypothetical scenario about another man

Hypothetically if a man says to his wife or to himself that “ When i get divorced im going to eat mums cooking ” or “im going to divorce then im going to eat mums cooking”

does that do anything to the man’s marriage? The hypothetical man had no intention of causing divorce a by saying this

Asalamualaikum I’m suffering from extreme ocd and waswasah about divorce and just wanna confirm nothing happened in these instances.

Me and my wife went out and whilst we were out she was being very rude and arguing about my sister because my sister has been very rude to her. I said to her that we are going home because she keeps arguing whilst we have come out on this trip. She was upset at me because she thought I was siding with my sister by asking her to not argue with me about it.i think she then kept threatening take to her in the car to her parents house and about divorce which I kept refusing. She kept on arguing with me so I said for us to go to the car just so we can go home because she keeps arguing. I didn’t intend anything by this but I got ocd by saying to go to the car that I’m responded to her threats about taking her in car and divorce even though didn’t intend anything like that at all. does that do anything?

My mum and dad got a divorce and I have never met my dad. So I was telling my wife about this and saying to her how “if I had a son” and was gonna simply say that I would meet him at least once not intending anything by saying that but then I got ocd thinking I’m presenting a hypothetical scenario of having a son like my mum but mum and dad got a divorce, so I got scared that would be part of the hypothetical scenario. I got worried and added about a “and he got adopted and we don’t meet him we would meet him” does that do anything?

My shoe laces always come untied so I got annoyed and said “of course” and then the ocd thought in my head came that every time it comes untied it means divorce, and as the thought came I think said
“ of course” with no intention, and got confused that I’m saying it to the thought in my head or annoyance over the shoelace but I’m not sure what to, if hypothetically a man out loud says “of course” to the thought about divorce does that do anything.

When I get waswasah say “no” or “breathe” to calm the waswasah but sometime I don’t know but feel as if I’m saying “do” or “dreathe” I think maybe cause the word “divorce” is always giving me ocd. What worries me is my potential mispronouncing starts with the same letter as “divorce” Does this do anything? And does my saying “no” multiple times to see if it sounds like “do” and does potentially accidentally pronouncing and repeating “do” does that do anything?

May Allah reward you

My marriage is a happy one, but one day I was doing household work alone in intense heat and humidity. Because of that, I felt angry at my wife for not helping me. Disturbing thoughts, whispers, and strange ideas started coming into my mind, and perhaps I began imagining a conversation with my wife.
In that state, I involuntarily said: “Go home. I want a divorce from you. Astaghfirullah, O Allah, I did not intend divorce — these words just suddenly came out.”
Then I returned to my senses and started worrying whether, because of what I said, the divorce has actually taken place. My major inclination is that I did not intend to give it in that moment but I am worried if maybe intention was in that imaginary scenario when the words were uttered. I also am unable to recall exactly.

Salam everyone. I’m a 29-year-old woman, having a stable career, but living at home with my parents. I’m reaching a breaking point and feel completely alone in this situation. I would be so grateful for any advice or to hear from anyone who has been through something similar.

I love and respect my parents deeply, especially my mother, who has sacrificed a lot for me. However, her protectiveness has become overwhelming.

The biggest conflict right now is about a potential marriage partner. I (29) have been speaking with a man (30) a while. We both like each other, are serious, have careers, and want to move forward in a halal manner in future.

My mother, however, is adamantly opposed. Her own marriage has been unhappy for 33 years, and she projects her fears and experience onto me. She believes I am naïve and make hasty decisions.

The specific issue is that she performed Istikharah regarding this man. Afterward, she had a bad dream, which she has interpreted as a divine sign that I will not have security with him. She takes this as a definitive answer from Allah and has told me to "get over him." She, along with my father, refuses to even meet him in person (as per my suggestion) to form a personal judgment based on evidence, (in addition to her Istikharah) sticking solely to her dream interpretation.

I personally feel this is deeply unfair. I understand that dreams ALSO can be influenced by one's own fears and emotions.

Me and her are very different in terms of personality. I have a positive outlook, seeing some potential in him and willing to give him a chance. Humans are not perfect after all. But my parent’s perspective says otherwise.

I’m the one who will get married here so I’m very disappointed of the way they handle things especially when it comes to marriage (I know them very well that marriage is the most difficult topic to discuss and agreeing with them).

How can I respectfully move past this impasse? Has anyone successfully navigated a similar situation with overprotective parents regarding marriage? What practical steps did you take?

JazakAllah Khair for reading and for any guidance you can offer. Please make du'a for me.

Assalamoalikum

Till yesterday I was not aware of conditional divorce.

Few days I ago I said to wife if you continue with abusive and vulgar language I will leave you.

It was neither threat nor divorce. What I had decided that if she continue same I will send her message of divorce. And same message to few others as witnesses. But I was not certain if I will do on first instance or tolerate 2-3 times and then do it.

Kindly clarify if is it conditional divorce or promise of divorce. Extremely confused.

I had a heated argument 10 years ago in which i said in extreme anger 'go to your parents house' to my wife, intent is uncertain due to how long it was but could be that i said the words due to anger.

I cannot recall the amount of times this was said at the time or if other kinayah words were used.

My question is;

1. Is this talaq e bain ?

2.if i uttered the same words or kinayah words multiple times in the argument would this be multiple talaq?

3.would i need to redo nikah?

As-salamu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

I would like to ask about a situation that is causing me waswasah (intrusive thoughts).

My wife was upset with me one day and said to me: “You don’t want to be a husband.”
From her tone and the context, I think that she meant that I wasn’t acting emotionally or affectionately enough — not that she was questioning our marriage itself.

I wanted to replied to her, “Of course I want to be a husband. But your always being so rude”
What I meant in my heart was, “Of course I want to act like a good husband and be more emotionally expressive. But your always so rude so don’t want to be so emotional ”

However, when I starting to say this this, i only said the words “of course” and not the rest of the sentence as I started to get waswasah.

A few minutes later (around 5–15 minutes after), I clearly told her, “Of course I want to act like a husband,” to clarify what I had meant from the beginning.

specific doubts came to my mind:
1. Because I am already her husband, I worried that some about to say “I want to be a husband” might somehow have a wrong or invalid meaning — as if it could affect the marriage.

2. I also got waswasah that when I said “Of course,” I might have been agreeing with her statement (“you don’t want to be a husband”) — even though I did not intend that at all. I just paused after the “of course” and didn’t say anything else as the waswasah was in my head.
I meant to reassure her that I do want to be an emotional but she is rude so it’s hard to be emotional.

3-, I clearly told her, “Of course I want to act like a husband,” to clarify what I had meant from the beginning. And am also worried about me saying I wanna act like a husband as well.

4- I’m worried because my wife said in anger that she might is gonna marry have kids with someone else, and I replied out of annoyance, saying something like ‘They’d be ugly,’ without any intention or seriousness. Does replying to her hypothetical scenario like that affect our marriage in any way?

5- Hypothetically if a woman tells her husband she’s gonna divorce him then get him arrested and he replies that if she gets him arrested he will get her arrested. But doesn’t intend anything by saying that. He is scared as he is replying to the hypothetical scenario of divorce but doesn’t intend or want that at all. Does that affect marriage in any way.

Please clarify do any of these scenario affect anything

May Allah reward you immensely for your patience Ameen.

Asalamualaikum may Allah reward you have a hypothetical question

1)Hypothetically if a man has intention of “talaq” keeps his mouth closed and tries to breathe the word through his nose, for example ‘talaq”’, without pronouncing it with his tongue or mouth, does that count as “talaq”

Woukd that do anything to the marriage.?
For example if u close ur mouth and
Try to breathe so ur breathing out like the word "hello” as u breathe through ur nose as your Tryna say that through breathing

2) If a man only says the first letter of the word ‘talaq’ (for example just ‘t’) and stops does that do anything

3) I didn’t do any of these and suffer form extreme waswasah how can I combat waswasah.

4)also as I was typing in the point above how “ I didn’t do any of these “
I paused after typing the “I did” before adding the rest cause of waswasah.I then cut it all then typed it all again. does the pause do anything. I have no intention

Jazakallah

Aww,

During 2 extremely heated arguments I pronounced the word talaq to my wife. Both times I had lost control and both times we made up straight away.

On the third occasion again we had an argument and this time I walked away and said the words we are finished as I was exiting the house but she did not hear these as I was now outside and she was inside.

Does this mean our nikah is now not valid? My wife has been told saying talaq in anger means the talaq is not valid and a hadith from Abu Dawud was mentioned.

Please advise as we are both confused.

Jzk

I would like clarification on the Islamic ruling regarding a husband’s obligation of maintenance during the ʿiddah period.

If a woman requests a divorce due to her husband’s disloyalty, emotional neglect, and failure to uphold her Islamic rights, and the husband then issues a divorce, is he still obligated to provide maintenance during her ʿiddah if she chooses to stay at her mother’s home rather than remaining in the marital home—especially if she left the marital home due to his actions and the negative impact on her mental and emotional well-being resulting from his failure to fulfil his responsibilities as a husband?

Additionally, if there was an agreed-upon amount of maintenance during the marriage that the husband failed to provide, can the wife request this amount as part of her Islamic maintenance during the ʿiddah? If he did not give it during the marriage, is he still obligated to pay it?

Finally, if the wife left the marital home during the ʿiddah and did not return, does this affect the husband’s obligation to provide maintenance during that period?

Asalamualaikum may Allah reward you
In Islam if a man has waswasah about “divorce” and maybe as it’s always in his head, he says a normal word maybe to his wife for example he might say “hello” but because of the severe waswasah of the word “divorce” he accidentally starts with the letter “ “d” and maybe accidentally says “ “d ello” or maybe he does this with other words does that do anything.

Furthermore what if another hypothetical man verbally says “if Allah or the prophet peace be upon me asks to “divorce” my wife” and he out loud says “I would” do it with no intention at all would that do anything

Asalamualaikum hope you are well may Allah reward you.

There is a hypothetical man who thought about divorce as he’s angry at his wife.
He imagined a divorce scenario in his mind, but he never intended to divorce his wife in real life.

In the imagined scenario, he thought that if his wife asked him why he is doing it, he would say “nothing.”

While thinking about this imaginary scenario, he accidentally said the word “nothing” out loud in real life, without intending any divorce, and without saying any wording of divorce.hes unsure why he said it and He doesn’t wanna leave at all.

Does saying the word “nothing” by accident — after imagining it — have any effect on the marriage? He is scared as the word nothing was in his thoughts and thats what slipped from his tongue irl only thr word ”nothing”

Asalamualaikum , hope you are well and may Allah reward you, I’ve really needed your help and have been suffering for so long I’m sorry for being long but if you can please help me out inshallah

1-My main question regarding the conditional is I follow the view of ibn taymiyyah The fact that he says it’s based on intention if it’s to encourage and threaten then it doesn’t count as divorce and I’ve seen scholars say you can take opinions from other scholars in waswasah/ necessity as a hanafi is this as a hanafi is allowed ?

theres a few scenarios I want you to put me in peace in writing, I already went on a molvi for shariah council but I just wanted to clarify on writing so im mentioning the full story, here are a few things said:I had no intention for any I just wanted to talk to her or just wanted her to listen to me , I never intended divorce
2-I said to my wife: “Come here or you are divorced” She came I think after a small hesitation and then walked away. I feel like she came instantly but Im not sure. Im worried as I never said for her to keep on walking with me once she comes next to me but I did want that but she walked away after fulfilling. Please clarify regarding the fact she didn’t keep walking ?
3-In the first situation, I am not sure if I also said “right now.” If I did say that and she came after a short hesitation, is that nothing to worry about please can you answer this hypothetically?
4-I said: “Give me your phone password or you are divorced.” She refused/ kept hesitating at first, but then gave it after I kept reminding within 5-15 minutes. Closer to 5, i just wanted to phone passwoed in that day I think specifically thought within today I only wanted the password, not divorce and not really a time frame . Does the fact she hesitated and refused for a while do anything?
4. I dont actually remember this but Im not sure but My wife says (although shes not even fully sure) that I once said: “Come down right now or you are divorced.”She says she went on her phone first, then came down. I remember she came down when I asked within a reasonable time according to me and I didnt worry or be scared , but im scared as she told me she went on her phone If I did say this, would that be a divorce? I never ever said anything or thought about her going on her phone I just wanted her to come downstairs and she came like a normal time. Please May you answer hypothetically regarding the fact she went on her phone?
5. I think I might have said: “Open the gate or you are divorced.” But I honestly dont remember if I said this, or if she even opened the gate. Does this count as divorce? She said she opened the gate and again I dont think shes even sure if I said it, just please May you answer me hypothetically.
6. There was CCTV in that place on the gate, and I once tried to get the footage to check If she opened the gate, but the establishment they didn’t give it to me. The incident happened over a year ago and I tried to get the footage over a year ago and since then we have moved properties in the same town Should I try harder to get it, or should I stop worrying about it?

Thank you for answering MaybAllah give you the highest reward, this was all extremely stupid things from years ago which I never done ever again.

Assalam o alaikum WRB,
I am 43 yr & my wife is 39 yrs old. We are into 16 yrs of marriage with 2 boys. My wife is suspicious about my actions before any women including my Sister in laws like noticing whether I am looking at them. I limit my conversation with them during family get togethers. When we are outside, She is watching on me whether I am looking at other women & starts accusing me that i did. When i try to reject the claims, We get into arguments. She also incites me by saying i like the other women or sister in law because she was physically revealing or overly expressive during the conversation. She says she trusts me but dislike my actions of looking at women & talking to them. I have been rejecting these baseless claims. I have lost patience now & I get into argument now yelling & scolding at her. She states she loves me & hence she is jealous. After the fight she then stops doing chores or cooking for the family especially kids & goes into isolation. These actions of her has never made me love her or increase the affection & makes me distance from her. She sends loads of Hadiths to me to replicate myself with Rasool e kareem SAW as to how he was with Ummul momineen. But she never introspects on herself. Please advise who is wrong & what is the interim & final solution for this.

My age is 28 and our marriage has almost completed 6 years, alhamdulillah. My wife is almost the same age as me and we have 2 children, alhamdulillah. We both, alhamdulillah, try to practice the Deen as much as possible.
The problem is, from just a few months after our marriage, my wife began to show complete reluctance in responding physically, and gradually it became very severe. I, physically, desire her almost every day, but she at best responds once or twice a month, and that too unwillingly. In this situation, I am mentally in great pain and, unwillingly, I am falling into sin. Even after every tawbah I cannot stay away from it.
I have also told my wife about the sins, and she feels upset temporarily but then goes back to the same way. Even when I show her the hadith about not responding to the husband, she feels hurt, makes an intention to change, but practically there is no benefit.
My wife otherwise is very practicing and fulfills all other rights of mine as a husband, mashaAllah. But in this matter she is extremely negligent, and because of it my normal life is being disrupted. In this case, please explain the ruling of Shariah.

Assalam alaikam,
I’ve been married for more than 20 years and have 3 children.
For multiples issues I filed a divorce in a French civil court. My husband did not come to the hearing. After few months the court issued the divorce judgement.
It’s been 5 years we have no contact. Recently i came to know he was admitted for a severe stroke and could no longer walk and talk. I met him and his friends, they said he never intended to give divorce.
My question is : is the civil court divorce valid, and count as an islamic divorce?
JazakAllah for your help.

Sfs

Assalamualaikum

Background:
I have OCD, particularly related to cleanliness and religious matters. One day, I felt what seemed like an intention to divorce, combined with ambiguous (kinayah) wording. This led me to believe and feel certain that a divorce had taken place.

Later, I learned more about OCD and how it can create false but convincing intentions. This made me doubt whether the intention I experienced was real or simply a false one caused by OCD. However, I have no clear evidence to confirm it was a false intention from OCD.

My questions are:

1. Does my belief and certainty that a divorce occurred count as certainty in Islamic law?

2. Based on the principle, can I consider the intention of divorce I had as doubt, and therefore judge that no divorce occurred because certainty (of marriage) outweighs that? Would this go against the principle?

3. Even though I have no solid proof that the intention was caused by OCD, can I now build new confidence that there was never a true intention to divorce in order to override my previous certainty?

May Allah reward you for your guidance.

Aslm i was married 22 years ago and had a son. We seperated when my son was cour through a court interdict az he was abusivs to my other kids. I havent seen him for 17 years. Is the nikaah still valid