Salam, i have been confused for over 8 years now. In my first year of marriage (september 2001) my wife went to my sisters house against my wish i was angry but after 1 or 2 hours i was just reading bashti zewar on the rules of talaq, out of the blue i just said the word talaq once loudly then i stopped and got worried. ALL i can remember now is when i said the word talaq i had no intention of divorce, i was by my self and when saying the word talaq i dont think i directed to my wife.(but not sure, very confused - cant make conclusion)
After many months passed (january 2002) i totally forgot the above issue and i was at work when a person question me on rules of talaq in the prayer room, He was asking me about 3 talaq rule so i was just saying talaq 3 times loudly with no thought at all of my wife or divorce but whilst saying the talaqs loudly a mistake of my wife came in my mind and i think after i directed 2 talaq to her. Does this talaq count because i was going to say 3 talaqs anyway.
After this (second) incident i became very confused thinking did i say 2 or 3 talaqs so i made dua to Allah and i saw a good dream and some one saying your wife is your wife.
But after many months (april 2002) passed i was sitting in the toilet and i remembered of the first incident. i have alot of doubt if the first incident counts as talaq, after i said it then i thought it counted as talaq but at that time i was very young and did not know the rules. Since then i have had two children and doing the work of deen but this issue is nagging my brain. Im really confused because these incidents happened many years ago and i cant remember that clearly in detail. Please give me a reply as soon as possible.
1) In relation to your question it seems you are suffering from Wasaawis i.e. imaginary whispers. Make Dua Alaah Taala cures you from such thoughts.
With regards to your question you have written to say that only the word 'Talaq' has been uttered by you. You have stated that you were angry with your wife then read a book pertaining to Talaq and then said the word Talaq to yourself without the intention of divorcing your wife.
Since the word used was 'Divorce' only and not "I divorce you", "My wife is divorced", "She is divorced" etc.
A divorce has not taken place.
2) Again in this situation the Talaqs are not deemed as being a Sharee divorce as no thought of your wife or divorcing her was occuring in your mind. Mere discussion of the issue of Talaq and uttering the word Talaq does not constitute a divorce.
3) The dream that you saw is a good dream however it must be remembered that dreams cannot be used as evidence in Sharee rulings, therefore this dream has not and will not be taken into consideration in this ruling.
In conclusion from the above your wife is in your wedlock and no divorce has taken place.
If you are experiencing Wasaawis , You should make 2 people witness that you are sufferering from this condition and you have no intention of divorcing you wife.
If in the future you do utter a statement of divorce in this state then the divorce will not take effect.