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Im abit confused about whether i should marry this guy?

Last updated: 1st May 2006
Question ID: #1784
Short URL: http://qa.muftisays.com/?1784
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shy gal
1st May 2006

 
assalamu alaikum,

i just wanted some advice on whether i should go ahead with marrying this guy iv known for more than a year mashallah he is a hafiz and very pious practices the deen etc.. but the thing im worried about is the attraction between us. I feel that the attraction may not be there, and this starts to get me double minded, although i have done istikara many times and it has come out good, but i still feel that the physical attraction might still be a problem, on the other hand he is a very nice guy and loves me very much and because of this reason i feel i couldnt reject him.... i like everything about him except his physical appearance... have u got any advice islamically what i should do whether i should go ahead with it because of the reasons iv stated here??

look forward for ur reply.

jazakallah
wasalaam
sister in islam



Answer
15/ May 2006:

Bismihi Subhanahu Wa-ta'ala
Assalamooalaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Respected Sister

Jazakallahu Khayran for contacting us. We will Insha-Allah Ta'ala advise you the best we can.

Firstly, at the outset we would remind you that contact with a ghayr-mahram (stranger with whom marriage is permissible) is not permissible unless absolutely necessary. In this case, you mention how he loves you very much and because of this you could not reject him. Perhaps the close attachment and emotion upsurge that has come about because of this relationship is complicating your Istikharah. According to the Shari'ah you are not obliged to marry him or vice versa.

With reference to physical appearances,undoubtedly, the maxim: "beauty is skin deep" is all too true. After a person gets married, the looks and physical attributes pales and one appreciates the qualities of one's spouse. Still, I guess it depends on how much the physical appearance is bothering you.

Al-hum-Du-Lillah, you have performed Istikharah. As well as Istikharah, you are advised to make Mashwarah with family members especially and then make a decision. Ultimately, you will have to decide whether you want to spend the rest of your life with for this fellow so your mind should be made up decisively. Insha-Allah Ta'ala, Allah will assist you in your endeavours. once you have decided do not look back or delay the Nikah. Their is Khair in Istikharah.

Jazaakumullah and request for Du'aas
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti
Answer last updated on:
16th May 2006
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 03
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