I was alone at home, I was thinking about sentences that can count as talaq. I keep wondering, did I

Assalamualaikum , I am really confused. When I was alone, did I utter the word of div*** in a loud voice or whisper or inner monologue so I could hear myself, or not? I keep asking myself if any sound came out of my mouth. Sometimes it feels like I spoke, and sometimes it feels like I didn't. How can I know for sure? Also, I wonder if the sentence was complete. Did I mention my wife, or not at all? By that, I mean did I use words like "you," "my wife," her actual name, or nothing at all? I keep stressing over this. For example, did I just say "Div**** tal** 1 (or 3)"? Or "I div***, tal** 1 (or 3)"? Or "I div**** you/my wife/[wife's name], tal** 1 (or 3)"? Was it attributed to wife or not? Sometimes I also wonder if I used the word "If." For example, did I say "If I div**** tal** 1 (or 3)"? The scariest part is, if I did say it, did I say tal** 1 or tal** 3? I have been worrying deeply about this for almost 2 years. I have been repeatedly asking myself the same question "Did I utter aloud or not?", "Did I mention my wife or not?" "What was the exact sentence?" "Did I say tal** 1 or 3"? I'm very scared and I don't know what to do