Anonymous
1
Assalamu Alaikum,
Hope you are well! I am keeping my identity anonymous due to the sensitivity of the topic.
Ive read below two article which has made me really worried.
https://askimam.org/public/question_detail/16194
Please read above article.
My situation is below:
Unfortunately my marriage has got off to a rocky start. I have been married 2.5 months.
Multiple times when ive been at home alone, ive imagined and acted out scenarios in my head of me ending the marriage. To a point where im audibly uttering the statement of divorce and my wifes (Maryam) name. Realistically i dont want a divorce but all these thoughts of me ending the marriage and putting Maryam down has come to mind. To the point, ive physically acted these scenarios out. Ive never wanted to divorce or end the marriage, although thoughts have been there thinking is this marriage sustainable and if its better to end.
But deep down i want to try and save this marriage with the hopes Maryam will change. Because ive audibly made these statements more than 3 times, im worried that the divorce has took place Islamically.
The words that I uttered in the scenario was 'Maryam i officially d*******e you'. This was in the scenario i was acting out and i didnt want it to be real. Also ive always been alone when this has happened.
Also, after discussing this issue with my parents, it has caused a lot of stress to the point the scenario keeps replaying in my mind, and i keep quietly saying the words that i used. This is not to end the marriage but its just because im overthinking a lot and replaying it in my mind and saying it to myself without realising as the situation is constantly replaying in my mind. Its because im really worried that i have issued divorce without meaning to.
I tend to overthink a lot and act out a lot of scenarios that havent happened but could potentially happen. Currently im feeling under a lot of stress thinking that my marriage has ended because of what i did. I also have been very obsessive and overthinking a lot.
Is this all waswasa? Is my marriage and Nikah still in-tact? Or have i given divorce?
I was acting out a imaginary scenario. I overthink a lot and suffer from undiagnosed anxiety.
Please get back to me asap as this has caused me a lot of stress.
Jazak'Allah
