Marriage - Issues

Marriage - Issues
19th September 2022

Talaq e bayeen

Asslamoalikum!
My husband and me talked about an issue suddenly my husband got angry and told me that you and your kids not even equal to my parents feet dust. I don't want to live with you. You can take your kids other matters will be discuss later. From my side you are free priviously and now. He spoke these words in Urdu (meri tarf sy tum kal bhi farig thi aur ajj bhi farig ho)
Then he went to his room and we didn't talk after that day I listened some statements about talaq e bayeen.
So I want to confirm that I got divorced or not if yes then how many time and after that what can we do my husband said his attention was not for divorce we don't want sepperation we have four kids.
Same situation in past 4 years ago he said same words with anger that I don't want to live with you. You can take your kids and go. From my side you are free. (meri tarf sy tum farig ho)
After that we live together and my husband said my intention is not for divorce I am just sacaring you.
Kindly confirm in this situation what can we do what is the right thing we do?
We are still in marriage?
If divorce apply how many divorce I received from my husband is it count one or two??
Kindly please explain each and every thing.
Jazakallah khair
Marriage - Issues
22nd August 2022

Confusion in nikah or divorce

My wife confessed to committing zina and was guilty. I am worried that there were instances (in sequential order) as given below that make me think that I divorced her

1. On the day I came to know about her affair, I phoned my father and told him, “I don't want to live with her anymore. We have no topics to talk, our communication is poor and I cannot compromise with my deen” The reason for this is that I had thoughts that my nikah was not valid which spoiled our communication. So, since our nikah I had thoughts of either remarrying her or divorcing her. I did not know that saying such things might be considered divorce.
2. At home, I told my father that the chances of me keeping her is 40% and that of me leaving her is 60%. Are these words of divorce?
3. It was after this that I had intercourse with her to relieve myself of the stress. I still was confused whether to keep her or separate from her.
4. I told her that I had forgiven her, but still needed time to decide whether to keep her or let her go.
5. All this time my wife and I were staying together with my parents. I taunted her for her actions and even told her to take her passport and roam with the person who she had zina with. Are these words of divorce?
6. While my wife and I stayed at my place, she told me how I would feel after she left me (she probably meant leaving for her home for a few days). I had a thought that she is leaving me forever, and said I will enjoy being alone and live life with peace (but I said it in a lighter tone). Are these words of divorce?
7. I was in a very confused state whether to remarry her or to divorce her. My father asked me whether I wanted to divorce her. I said "Yes”. My father then asked me whether I could just forgive her. I used to tell my wife that I wanted to live with her. But, I was always confused whether to continue nikah or remarry her.
8. Once she also said she wanted to leave(she probably meant going home for a few days) and asked me about it. I wanted to ask for how many days, but didn’t ask. I had thoughts that she was leaving me forever and said "okay go". I think that I said her to go while I was thinking that she is leaving me forever/divorcing me. Is this considered as divorce?
9. Under deep hurt, I also once told my wife, “Leave me if you cannot change yourself (regarding me telling her to develop herself in deen, not talking to males unnecessarily and doing things that lead her to zina)”. She asked “Am I not changing myself?” I replied, “Yes”. She was really trying to change herself by cutting off relation with the person she did zina with,, reading islamic books, but she talked to some of male friends freely. Are these words of divorce and is kaffarah to be done?
10. We also had sex during this period, but I sometimes couldn’t feel the pleasure in it.
11. It is to be noted that I had accepted her but still was confused whether to keep her or let her go. She once all of a sudden told the story of the woman who complained to the Prophet (S.A.W) that her husband told her that her back looked like that of her mother’s. Could this be sign from Allah that divorce has taken place between us?
12. I did not like seeing her talk freely to male relatives. So I criticized her and we argued angrily. I even told her that I have thoughts that if she met with the guy whom she did zina with, she would do it again. She became shocked and said that I doubt her and was trying to control her. I became furious and told that her that she doesn’t understand me and said to her, “Leave from here”. Are these words of divorce?
13. Once her father came and took her away from my home as she was very disturbed. It was then that I realised I had said words of separation from her to my father on phone (mentioned in point no.1). I tried to keep her with me till her iddah in case I divorced her, but she insisted on going. I finally told her that I had taken her back so as to be sure that I had taken her back within the iddah period (03 menstrual cycles), considering my first statement of separation which I told my father on phone call (mentioned in point no.1). My parents were also hurt by some of her actions and while leaving she said words that hurt me.
14. After she left with her father, I did not talk anything to her on phone as I was hurt. She was irritated by my actions and I kept repeatedly saying words of accepting her, and said that I had to care for her after I had accepted her so that our nikah is intact if it was valid.
15. Just 02-03 days before her third menstrual cycle started (from the point of my first statement of separation which I told my father on phone call - mentioned in point no.1), I had a an argument with her regarding how she disrespected me while leaving, how she hurt my parents and she said to me, ”This is how you have accepted me?”. I ignored her since then and called her very rarely. I now had thoughts of either remarrying her or divorcing her.
16. When I called her a few days later, I again told her that I had accepted her, but she had completed her ghusl after her third menstrual cycle ended (considering the point of my first statement of separation which I told my father on phone call - mentioned in point no.1)
17. I am in serious doubts now. As mentioned above, there were several instances where i issued statements of divorce or seemed to have issued and then had sex with her/said i wanted to live with her/said I accepted her. Did the iddah period end after I accepted her or did it continue till the end of three menstrual cycles? Did I divorce her and accepted her back more than twice, thus making my divorce irrevocable till she marries and divorces another man. I am scared that during her ending of iddah, we had arguments and i was in confusion whether to remarry her or divorce her.
18. Since our nikah i always felt i was attracted to deen only when i was away from her or didn't talk to her and felt my imaan drop whenever i talked to her. Sometimes, when I phoned her, she didn't answer, I don't know for what reason and when she phoned me, I didn't hear the ringing and therefore I couldn’t answer. I have also done istikhara in asking Allah to guide me in continuing marriage or remarrying her. I even once asked her and she agreed for remarriage. Once she herself told me for remarriage. Could this be a sign from Allah that I have to remarry her. I get thoughts that maybe Allah exposed her sin of zina so that either i remarry her or separate from her. I really don't know what to do.
19. After her iddah ended (considering the point of my first statement of separation which I told my father on phone call - mentioned in point no.1), we again had argument in car when I got irritated and told her “leave from here” twice. After the first saying, I had thought it could mean divorce, but I said it the second time also. Could this mean that we are completely divorced or do I have a chance to accept her again?
20. I feel that I would be sinning if I get intimate with her.
21. I told her jokingly that I would drop her to some location. I completed the sentence even when I thought this could mean divorce.

I can say that I was very careful in choosing my words and whenever she asked me if I wanted to stay with her, I used to say "Yes" and said that I couldn't live without her. I suffer from waswasa and am confused regarding this and in need of a proper solution so that my life is better in this world as well in the hereafter.
Marriage - Issues
18th August 2022

I got married and My wife got to know about my past which was full of Zina

Dear mufti sir,

I am in the biggest self created mess of my life and I don't know how will it turn good for everyone involved.

I was a semi religious boy offering Jummah regularly, performing the best prayers and salahs in ramadhan and fasting, but only offering salahs inconsistently for some months and then leaving them.

I got lost in a dark place, I committed Zina and then asked for true tawbah from Allah not to repeat the crime, then I got in touch with the girl I had known since my college days but she had got married 6 or 7 years ago, before her marriage we had gotten into inappropriate messaging only, and then she got married. She met me after 7 years and I committed Zina with her, she was equally involved. She blamed me for everything and I got so depressed, I lost into a darker place, I started committing Zina again until I got a sign from Allah to mend my ways truly, I cried for the first time on the prayer mat and said I will not repeat any of my wrongdoings, did the true tawbah again and had not had intercourse again with a woman again.

I thought my prayer had been accepted, I was clean and got married after 2 years. 7 months after my marriage, my wife got to know about my past, all the details, and she can't see my true tawbah or my mended ways, I have tried everything, I am deeply in love with her, haven't thought of other women or committed anything after marriage, I was clean, but the past still came rushing back to haunt me. I have asked for forgiveness from my wife, and that I am her biggest culprit, asked Allah for help as well. But she will not listen to me, can't even see me,
I don't want to give her talaaq as it's gonna be a bigger sin, or leave her. I asked her to leave me but she is keeping my honor so not everyone knows about my past.
What should I do?
Marriage - Issues
24th July 2022

Assalamualaikum, Can a boy Marry her Mother's Uncle's doughter. Means apni Ammi ke Chacha ke bate se

Assalamualaikum, Can a boy Marry her Mother's Uncle's doughter. Means apni Ammi ke Chacha ke bate se kya nikah Jayaz Hai.Jabki wo larki us larka ka khala lagta hai.
Marriage - Issues
15th July 2022

Divorce given from wife

Asalamualaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakathu

During an argument with my wife. I said to her “If you want to divorce me, then you say it, you can have my divorces”, she then said “I divorce you”. Does this constitute a divorce?
Marriage - Issues
1st July 2022

Talaq

Salaam walaikum

is a Talaq validated if husband says 3 times, I gave my wife talaq in presence of no body and husband lives for 3 years in another country alone
Marriage - Issues
17th March 2022

Step bro daughterts hand

i have a elder step brother from my mothers previous marriage ,can i marry this step brothers daughter?is it permissible or not?
Marriage - Issues
7th February 2022

One witness in Nikah

Assalam u Alaikum
Me and my Faincee enter into nikah in presence of One witness and Quran.
Is Nikah Valid or not?
If incomplete what should we do?
Marriage - Issues
22nd September 2021

Waswas about talaq

Salam alaikum mufti brother thanks for helping people!
Ever since i have read about what causes talaq i feel like everything is causing talaq a month ago my husband said “if you ever talk about this topic again i know what to do”does saying “i know what to do”if husband intend talaq cause talaq i actually did talk about that topic after that so I’m scared that what if it has caused talaq now plz mufti help me i love him we also have a child.he has given me one talaq already unintentionally before this situation. I am very confused about metaphors of talaq.also he was talking about future but what if by saying “i know what to do”he in his heart said “you are divorced”
Marriage - Issues
23rd September 2021

Kinaya words

i just want to ask the sentence "go to hell" is kinaya word or not
Marriage - Issues
16th June 2021

3 talaq under emotional gun point ....

n the knowledge of second marriage, first wife went under sever depression and had regular panic attacks and blood pressure spikes for 5 days. on fifth day she tried to take lot of medince in her hand for suiside. on this husband agreed to sing on the 3 talaq paper and did not give verbal talaq but signed on the 3 talaq paper. when signing he was under pressure for either to sign or go for public humiliation. Is the talaq done in this way is valid though he had no intention to do the talaq
Marriage - Issues
1st April 2021

I have said my wife talak 3 times on phn but she told me to give talak is my talak right or wrong

I have said my wife talak on phone is my talak wright
Marriage - Issues
25th February 2021

Question regarding divorce

My husband sent me a text message saying he is giving me divorce. It was a very clear message that there won't be any contact from now. I confirmed the receipt by replying be happy. Now my question is, Is this divorce final or was he suppose to do more. Please answer as soon as possible.
JazakAllah
Marriage - Issues
24th March 2021

Marriage through text message on group chat

Assalamu Alaikum Shayekh,
I married a man in witness of some of my friends, through text message on a group message which means a chatroom virtually. We did this only for fun. but now I've realised that was a bad thing. I am continuously repenting for my all past. And I want to be a Muhsin slave of Allah SWT.
My question is that, Was our marriage through text message on chatroom valid? If it is valid, What should we do now? I don't want him as my husband. I feel depressed for my sins.
Marriage - Issues
3rd January 2021

Civil divorce and islamic talaq

AOA,

My islamic divorce happened in pakistan in 2003, i came to UK through proper visa channel so same islamic marriage is also accepted in UK, i am separated from my husband from 7 years since 2013 and now i am taking civil divorce in uk, after my civil divorce, do i need to take khula as well?? or is it considered as islamic Talaq??

Many thanks,

sabiha dawood
Marriage - Issues
18th June 2020

Inappropriate relationship between my husband and her sister

Assalam o alaikum,
I apologise in advance for being blunt in this post but this issue is affecting me a lot and I need some guidance. Its been 6 month of my marriage and I am not happy with the way my husband (30yrs) and her younger sister (23yrs) behave. I read about sibling kissing eachother on multiple islamic websites and found out its okay to give peck on cheek to mehram. But is it okay for a 23yr old girl to kiss her brother on cheeks, neck, hands, legs (including touching his body frequently, and its a two way, my husband is equally involved) not just once in a while but daily multiple times in a day.
Initially I ignored it thinking maybe my family is strict and siblings may act this way depending on their upbringing and environment. But as days passing, I am realising my husband spend most of his time with her sister, not me (since corona lockdown) and whenever i pass by, I see them either kissing or cuddling each other.
Please do consider this question and guide me.
Marriage - Issues
15th March 2020

When I get married

When I get married with whom
Marriage - Issues
11th March 2020

Talaq during impurity and 3 talaqs before 3 months

I send first divorce to my wife by "WhatsApp" message on 11 Sep and second on 5 October and third on 21st October. My words were "i divorce you". When i send here second message at that time my wife was in 'impurity' stage or in monthly cycle.

Now i want to reconcile and want to know if i can take her back. She is also ready to come back?
Marriage - Issues
6th February 2020

Mujy koi wazefa chahye pasand ke shadi k lye isthkhara keya theak a rha lekin boy k ghr waly ne man

Mujy koi wazefa chahye pasand ke shadi k lye, Isthkhara keya theak a rha lekin boy k ghr waly ne man rhy cast issue bna rhy jab k boy Razi ha Shadi k lye to koi wazefa bta dyen jis sy us k ghr waly man jyen aur mery be ghr waly man jyen. aur asa wazefa btaye ga jo hum 2no kar scy ku k boy k parents cast issue bna rhy aur ma ny abi bat nee kee ghr me k vo phly mna lay. Aur mujy koi mashwra be dy dyen ap k ma kab bat karon ?

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Clarification received on 10th January 2020:
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Mujy koi waazefa chahye pasand ke shadi k lye, Isthkhara keya theak a rha lekin boy k ghr waly ne man rhy.
Cast issue Bna rhy jab k boy Raazi ha Shadi k lye to koi wazefa bta dyen jis sy us k ghr waly man jyen aur mery be ghr waly man jyen.
Aur asa wazeefa btaye ga jo hum dono kar scy ku k boy k parents cast issue bna rhy aur ma ny abi tak ghr me bat nee kee k vo phly mna lay apny ghr walo ko.
Aur mujy koi advise be dy dyen ap k ma kab bat karon apny ghr me? shukria
Marriage - Issues
16th January 2020

Divorce confusion

A couple years ago me and my husband had an argument over something and in anger he said to me in text message ‘Dont worry you are free from now on.. I will divorce you’. At the time i was very tense and upset and I didn’t think anything of this message I ignored it and told him do whatever you want. He told me to leave the house and I didn’t and then the next morning again he said to me before going work that if i come back from work and you are here i will divorce you and throw you outside the house so I got scared and left his house because I didn’t want the divorce to happen. He actually had planned to create an argument between us just so he can kick me out the house and then blame me.

At this time we had been married only for two months nikah happened 8 months before and it had been two months since the rukhsati. We never consumated the marriage and had no husband wife relationship.
After I left his house I forgot about the messages and it has been 4 years since.
In these 4 years we had no contact with eachother.

A couple of days ago i saw the messages in my phone and I have been in doubt whether the divorce happened 4 years ago or not. Someone told me that if the husband says some words like these in anger and he means talaq the talaq happens coz these are kinaya words. I messaged him to ask him what he means and he replied it is obvious what i means by the message so my question is
1. Has our nikah broken or will it break if he accepts he intended divorce by these words
2. Will i have to do iddat if our nikah was to break or if if he was to give divorce now will I have to do iddat.
3. Will i get the mahr money.

Also I wanted to ask if i was to file for a divorce through the court or seperation will that be counted as divorce.