Marriage - Issues

As-salamu alaykum,

I hope this email finds you well. I am reaching out to seek advice regarding my marriage, as I am currently struggling with a difficult situation that is affecting me emotionally and mentally.

Some time ago, I met a woman whom I wanted to marry. However, when I informed my parents about my decision, they strongly opposed it for cultural reasons, simply because she comes from a certain city. Unfortunately, this led to many arguments between my parents and me. Despite their disapproval, I proceeded with the marriage, asking for my wife’s hand in marriage by myself. My parents did not attend the wedding and, to this day, refuse to have any relationship with my wife.

Although my relationship with my parents is still intact, they completely avoid my wife, and she, in return, refuses to have any relationship with them unless they apologize. While my wife and I generally have a good marriage, this issue causes frequent arguments. She has developed a deep hatred towards my parents and often speaks ill of them.

Over time, I have started to feel that my love for my wife is fading. I find her increasingly unattractive, and I struggle to lower my gaze, as I often think that I could have married someone my parents would have approved of. It feels as though I am being punished for my decision. Additionally, I often face awkward situations when people from my wife’s side ask whether my parents have reached out to us, which only reminds me of the ongoing conflict.

I deeply regret many aspects of this situation, and I am now questioning whether it would be better to separate, especially since we do not have children yet. Neither my wife nor I are willing to consult an Imam or take steps toward reconciliation. I constantly feel sad and have frequent thoughts that I would be happier with someone else. I also fear that if we do have children, they will grow up resenting my parents due to this conflict.

From an Islamic perspective, would it be advisable to divorce at this stage? I would sincerely appreciate your guidance on this matter.

Asalamo alkuim,

I been married for a year and half. In the beginning of our marriage my husband would go to work until 5 then go to his family house until 8. Also would keep me at the house while he is with his family hanging out. Every time I would discuss him what he has he would tell me a wife doesn’t need to know her husbands whereabouts. He would yell at me for his sisters in front of them because I was changing to go out with them and they are always late when we go out. His sister said something to hurt me and he made me call them, so I make things right. His family calls him 10 times if he doesn’t answer which usually we are inmates during the times he doesn’t answer. He thinks something has happened so he stops, but nothing has happened.

Recently we have been arguing so much because he would get mad out of nowhere and he doesn’t keep his promise that we had before we got married such as living with parents and communicating everything with each other before anyone else. His family has been saying bad things about me and he doesn’t defend me. I feel like when I go to his family they don’t talk to me and leave out of everything. My husband lectures me in front of them.

I do raise my voice sometimes because I get very anger because I feel like I moved across the country and my husband doesn’t talk to me and puts last for everything. We had a big fight because he kept getting mad at out of nowhere at me, so I said I wanted a divorce out of anger. He got mad and left. My dad convinced to comeback home and I regretted right away.

My husband has said before that he can’t keep being in this marriage and thinks we are still young and we can move on. Which means divorce but when I said he got mad and he has not talked to me for two weeks.

He said he will never forgive or forget for what I have said. I have been very patient and haven’t raised my voice or argued with him.
I don’t what to do to bring my husband back to me. Nothing I do is right. He doesn’t talk to me and doesn’t joke with me.

What should I do to have my husband to forgive me for what I have said?

Asalamualaikum warahmatula hiwabarakatuhu,

I need urgent guidance!!!

I am a university student and I am not financially stable at all. Is there any way you can help me? I am mentally really disturbed!

I am a girl, I turned 18 last year and I'm entering my second year of university in september inshallah. I like a guy who is 6/7 years older than me and Alhamdulillah by the help and blessings of Allah (S.W.T) he is earning really well and he is capable enough to build a family on his own. I really want to get married because he is the right person for me, our personalities match, he brings me closer to my deen, he is really respectful and I want to make everything halal. He is also ready to get married to me, and there are no restrictions from his family either. My mom found out about him and we decided to come clear to her, and he spoke to her. She concluded by saying that I am too young and that he is Pakistani and I am an Indian so it's not possible, because if we get married everyone will get to know I chose my partner by myself and everyone will start talking. We have gone through every situation together and I have known him for 5 months now. I know he is the guy I want to marry because Alhamdulillah we have helped each other a lot to get on the path of Allah and we love each other for the sake of Allah.

I have even prayed to Istikhara and his mom also found out about us and she was so happy, because she got to know me and she loves me as a person. His older sister also met me and she knows that I am willing to get married and I will be a good wife to him. His father called my dad and told him that he wants to meet and talk about us but my dad brushed it off and said I will call you later and he never called him back. My relationship with my parents has ruined and they are always threatening to throw me out of the house and they keep telling me to leave. We were in Dubai for 14 years and came to Canada 3 years ago, my dad is planning to take us back because he says that the only reason we came here was for my studies but I am not studying and I have fallen in traps so he is planning to take us all back. My mom keeps bringing up my past and tells me I am the same person, but Alhamdulillah I have changed a lot and no one but Allah knows that!

There are so many people out there telling us to do a secret nikkah and get married because my parents are making terrible decisions right now, but we don't want that, that's our last option, we want my parents to bless me and wed me off happily. He wants that too, he doesn't want my parents to think bad of him.
We both had a lot of problems over the last months and they were really extreme at points where we kept leaving but Allah swt kept sending us signs and kept bringing us together. I know that he is the right one because he is literally the male and mature version of me. Our thinking’s are alike.

And moreover the important part for me is that we both were lost in this world, but Alhamdulilah ever since we met each other, we have drawn ourselves and each other really really close to Allah and we are using the love triangle where we know Allah is at the top and we have to love Allah (S.W.T) to get close to each other. We both have helped each other to this point that we both pray 5 times a day and we don't miss one single prayer. We pray 20 rakats of taraweeh straight and we wake up for tahajjud as well, which I know I would never do because I have a really deep sleep but alhamdulillah an hour before fajr eyes just open up.

I have completely lost my interest in this world. I swear upon Allah, I am just 18 but I have witnessed so many deaths at a younger age. And I just want to kill myself, but I know it is haram and I am avoiding all the haram work. But I am really fed up with this world and everyone is so much into haram. Literally my parents are avoiding such a beautiful blessing that is knocking at their door and they are stopping me from making something halal and they are making haram easier.

I had a business of my own repairing phones and I was such a good student and loved studying computer science, but ever since I have drawn myself closer to Islam, I am no longer interested in anything anymore. I know that this world is literally an ocean and if we take a bucket and fill it with the oceans water is what we have to take with us on the day of judgement. I am no longer interested in studying anything. I want to become an Islamic teacher or an Ailmah, so that I can spread the word of islam and become a better muslim, because that is the only occupation that will at least bring me closer to my deen and help me in my akhirah.

Please tell me what I should do? Because i really know he is the guy and it’s not about the rizq either because Allah said in the Quran if the person is a character of akhlaq and is a proper Muslim, marry him, i will put barakah in the marriage. And Alhamdulilah he is becoming a better Muslim and we both are helping each other. And we don’t even want to get married right now, we just want to do nikkah and turn things into halal and do it the proper way!

Jazakallah

Assalam alaikum,
I am a Shia woman, married to a Sunni Hanafi man. Our marriage has always been troubled. I left his home and live in a separate house. Since I left we have tried to reconcile. During that time he has pronounced the word talaaq twice and took it back within 90 days. Then 6 months ago we had a fight at his house in the middle of the night. I wanted to leave and he said: if you leave, you have the third talaaq. He didn’t expect me to leave but I did. When he realized I was gone he panicked but found a source online that said that since the talaaq was conditional he could take back the condition and the talaaq would not be valid. I can not find any sources about conditional talaaq that applies to our situation. In my perspective he pronounced the talaaq three times, so I consider myself divorce. He however is convinced the talaaq is not valid and we are still marries. Therefore my question, are we divorced or not?
Thank you in advance for answering my question.
Kind regards,
Israa Zaini

Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh,
I pray this message finds you well. I am seeking your guidance regarding issues in my marriage of four years. My husband and I have two children, and our marriage was good until recently. About five months ago, I found inappropriate pictures and messages on his phone from another woman. When I confronted him, he denied having an affair and claimed she was just a friend. However, I later discovered he was sending her significant amounts of money and that she was cooking for him when he traveled back to Africa.
I have since found evidence of him communicating with other women as well. Each time I confront him, he denies everything, never apologizes, and instead blames me for being the problem. He even changed his travel plans without informing me and lied about it.
I am emotionally exhausted and feel lost. I want to protect my family and avoid divorce for the sake of my children, but the lack of honesty and trust is causing me great pain. I’ve even suggested that if he wishes to marry another woman, he should do so openly instead of hiding and lying.
Please advise me on how to approach this situation in a way that aligns with Islamic teachings and helps me maintain my emotional well-being.
JazakAllah Khair

If a couple has done their nikaah but rukhsati is yet to happen. The husband used to meet in the guest room of her parents house. The guest room was accessible by everyone. people were always present in the house and there was always a risk of someone entering the room. The guest room had two doors. Doors were closed at times but never locked as they didnt have their locks on them so anyone could enter without permission. The couple did have intimate moments, kissing, rubbing each other's private parts and once husband tried to do intercourse while standing for 10 to 15 seconds but he was unable to do it because wife was uncomfortable as she wanted it to happen after rukhsati. Also, there was always a risk of someone entering. Please let me know if this is khalwat e sahiha or not given the room was not completely secured but the husband did try to do intercourse for a few seconds but he was unable to. Jazakallah

Assalamualikum

Me and my husband have a very big problem and we are seeking immediate assistance. I would kindly like to share my situation with you first.

Prior to the problem, me and my husband have been facing a lot of obstacles within our marriage. We recently got married in September 2024, since then we have been facing a lot of issues i.e: financially, within the family (loss of mother), my husband suffered a car accident and also myself miscarrying a child. This was a lot of stress in itself to take on board, for the both of us.

With all this stress to take on board, I had to seek medical assistance too. Meaning, visiting my DR and explaining my mental state to him which he then also prescribed me medication.

I miscarried my baby on the 07/12/2024, the loss of his mother also happened 4 days before me miscarrying, a lot had happened. Me and my husband got into an argument via phone call, we were both talking over each other. Nobody was listening to one another, the phone call then ended by my husband, whilst I was still talking.
When this happened, we immediately started texting each other very rapidly, not reading each other’s responses again because of how much of our emotions were built up at the time, it was a very nasty moment. My husband was already not in a clear state of mind, he doesn’t remember where he was, why he said it, or what he said. He was severely angry to the point of insanity. I provoked my husband on top of that to divorce me because I was already grieving and going through so much pain and stress, I wasn’t thinking about this with a clear mind aswell. My husband then stated the word “Divorce” 3 times over a Whatsapp message. I didn’t know what to do, however on the other hand, my husband’s intention was to only divorce me ONCE to regain control of himself and the situation.

We are a young couple that have got married in our early 20’s. We both have limited knowledge and understanding on the severity of what the word “Divorce” could cause. Nobody has taught us on the field of divorce.
We have never once thought of divorcing or separating from each other in general. We never thought divorcing each other would be an option for us, because we only had the intention to spend both of our lives together. We both willingly agreed to marry each other, we would’ve never come to this point in our lives if we had understood the severity of the word “Divorce”, like I had previously mentioned before, we are a very young couple with no knowledge or very limited to no knowledge on the word “Divorce” and how it works. My husband is willing to take an oath and prove himself what his intentions were. Truly speaking, only Allah Ta’ala knows his intentions. He is clearly stating that he thought saying the word “Divorce” 3 times in 1 occassion constitutes 1 divorce (warning) to the wife.

Is there any way you can help us?
What would you advise us to do?
We follow the Hanafi school of thought, so we feel this would work best for us.


Jazakum Allahu Khairan for your guidance, may Allah Ta’ala reward you endlessly for your efforts in helping the community.

Wa’alaikumsalam.

My husband accidentally said the 3rd divorce as I did not answer his phone and deeply regretted it. He felt that he was possessed during this, or had an out of body experience. Is the divorce valid?

Is slavery allowed purely for the purpose of the sexual relationship between me and a Muslim man? We previously used to be husband and wife but divorced accidentally. We do not want to commit zina and see no other option.

I had a secret marriage which has now ended in divorce, I do intend to re-marry after, but how can I perform my iddah when I am a full-time university student?
Will my iddah be valid if I leave my home?

If a couple who's never consummated their marriage meet in the guest room of the wife's house. There are two doors and they don't have any locks so the doors cannot be locked. The mother of the wife is outside and she usually comes inside without taking permission. At times she would just knock the door and enter and at times she would just open the door and stand their. So there was always a risk of someone entering. The couple had intimate moments though like kissing, rubbing private parts. Once they were standing and rubbing with watch other's private parts and husband asked if he should consummate but the wife was resistance and said maybe "no someone can come inside" or "we won't do it before rukhsati" so the husband did try to rub it or push it for some seconds but couldn't do it because of wife's discomfort and the fear of someone entering the room. Without permission because the room was not locked, it had two doors and it was a guest room.

Simply put, they had intimate moments but there was always a risk of someone entering upon them.

Is this khalwat e sahiha or not?

Assalamu Alaykum
My husband is an Alim and he stays up until 1pm on his phone everyday. He comes upstairs only once a week to fulfill his needs and then goes back downstairs to continue on his phone. I feel my rights are neglected and makes me feel worthless.When I quarrel regarding this he says that he fulfills my needs atleast once a week so it’s sufficient . He doesn’t give me any other time in the week apart from that. Please can you kindly guide me on this.
Jklk

If my husband has married me as a secret 2nd wife and i now want to have my full huqooq, what should i do? He is afraind that his 1st wife will be upset and families will be ruined.

Asalamualaikum, please may you reply as soon as you see this. I have extreme waswasah which affects me every single minute (or every couple of minutes) every day (not an exaggeration) to do with the d word, this happens in prayer, zhikr, sleep, eating food, doing anything with my wife, literally anything. It happens all day everyday.

I used to be active, physically and mentally and thought if you have these mental problems just exercise or just be put in Africa or Palestine and live the life their living , and then see if you worry about OCD when your fighting for food or survival etc, but now it’s affecting me severely. Alhumdulillah i got married March 4 2024, at 20 years of age, it was with a woman I was in a haraam relationship with but I wanted the haraam to go and married during university and did a lot of night shifts (patrolling as a security guard) to make ends meet Alhumdullilah.

My waswasah got really bad regarding “d” word. I can’t even say anything unrelated to it which starts with “D” or “T”or anything without thinking about it. The conditional statements run in my mind every second. For example- a man can just be asking a normal question, whether angry happy or whatever, and in his head after every statement he makes ever, the end bit “or d word happens” or the actual “I d word you” or “she is d word” literally is always in my head or it’s just the “d” or “t” word on its own. Literally any possible d word statement you can think off is always in my head, and it is every moment.

I kept consulting mufti’s and imaam asking questions and they eventually block me, stop answering or they may go to study in another country so I can’t really contact anybody. I kind of just (although unreliable) just put my problems into chat GPT and go with that. May Allah reward all these Mufti’s/ Imaams who dealt with me, the problem is, I ask questions and it’s all good that they answer. They all give guidelines. But the problem is new scenarios occur which I think “oh I need to tell them this” deep down I know it doesn’t do anything but I just have a compulsion to ask.

I have always have OCD now that I think of it, my mum was a single mum before she remarried, and I used to do dua for her for ages naming all things that could possibly happen, I would list them all as a young kid in my hands till my hands hurt to make sure if I do dua for every single thing, a bad thing won’t happen to her when she goes to study or anything, I would later stop doing this and it would be very minor and would be about cleaning and then other small things like sorting out stuff, I grew up and now it’s come to my marriage. I also believe most of my family have OCD, and a guy related to me actually died in Ramadan because of OCD and the medication he took. Everyone in my family just ignores it though to be honest.

All these imaams and mufti’s tell me to ignore it, they give me zhikr to read and tell me to increase my knowledge, I do this but it’s hard. One imaam also did ruqya. They also tell me that under waswasah nothing counts which is all well.

Problem is sometimes I think these things without waswasah, I think these thoughts/ statements myself, or I think that I think them myself and I’m worried if the questions below do anything. I’ve done some research and want to know if my knowledge is correct-

Nowadays, I just sit down in my room or anywhere and think, I have bitten my tongue so hard I feel my adult teeth slowly getting weaker like they are about to fall out. Just to stop myself doing anything.

Please don’t answer these according to waswasah, these are all hypothetical scenarios that I would please want answering as if it’s a man with intention (or not) according to what I’ve written in question. Jazakallah.

What does not count-
1- if a man maybe upset or angry or something, and thinking about d word or imagining a scenario which he intends in his head. And god forbid he accidentally absentmindedly OUT LOUD say the full sentence whilst thinking of the scenario, even though he Didn’t  mean to verbally say it, it doesn't count? Even if his wife is there?
 
2- Am I right in believing, If a man INTENDED D WORD by mouthing the entire explicit words of d word but there's no like sound produced, even tho ur lips tongue and mouth moved, it doesn't count? Even if your wife/someone saw ur mouth?
 
3- With intention of d word by this- does physical actions not count? Such as like a man pressing an implicit word on a screen, like a man pressing (not typing), the word “cancel” on his  phone as his wife is there with intention of thinking he’s “cancelling nikkah” or slamming something like the door or shutting door with intention of d word by doing that?
 
4- if a man intentionally with the intention of causing a d word by doing this-  thinks of explicit words/ statements such as full "T word" or "t word is given* or "I (explicit word) you" or anything. And intentionally moves tongue before he thinks it or during thinking it or after thinking it, doesn't form words, and what if he maybe forms first few letters with tongue? Does this not count?
 
5- what if a man Purposely thinks of d word with intention of issuing  d word through  statements/ sentences in his mind,  as his tongue moves as he’s saying other words in normal conversation, or whilst he’s eating/ talking/ praying, or looking/talking to wife, but not saying them actual words.
 
6-If a man intentionally expresses the full rhythm of an explicit sentence related to divorce, like "| divorce you," "You are divorced," or "If you do this, you are divorced," or anything type of d word statement, and if he intended d word by doing these- 
-biting tongue down and the tongue moves in rhythm with explicit sentences as it's bitten down
-biting tongue down in rhythm with explicit sentences, biting down harder or lighter in rhythm,
-breathing in/out through his nose and or mouth, making breathing sound in rhythm,
·-making noise in rhythm with no word through mouth.
-swallowing in rhythm with sound,
·- moaning in rhythm with sound.
-moving his mouth in rhythm with sound.
-licking/ biting teeth with sound in rhythm of words.

So if he intended d word by doing any of these in rhythm of explicit statements, it doesn’t count as he’s not actually saying words?
 
7-if on purpose someone keeps saying out loud "wallahi nothing happens" to waswasah, whenever the thoughts come and in head as it's said, HE DELIBERATELY THINKS THE THOUGHT "d word happens" comes to his head as he verbally says "nothing happens", is this also invalid as its a thought?
 
8- Saying incomplete phrases for example- if a man says “if you do this you are d word” and he thinks this statement and only says out loud the letter “D” and the rest is in his mind.

Or he is going to say “ I d word you” and he only says out loud “I” and the rest is in his head.
 
9- saying "ta ala" in namaaz, or any word, and thinks of the EXPLICIT word TO to compare as hes saying it. Such as comparing to T word.

Also saying “ignore”  and as he says it he thinks “if this happens then d word” as he says it same time to compare what he’s saying to what is in his head.
Also said out loud “ ignore” and compared with with d word only in his head.
If a man intended d word by doing this (comparing what he’s saying to d word statements in his head). would it also be invalid as it’s not the full word?
 
10- Also  I just wanted to know, l've never had intention or ever will but-
 if someone is saying "Wallahi I'l never leave my wife no matter what” to himself as an oath, but in their mind they are also thinking of negative scenarios involving her as their mouth is moving saying oath, and as they are saying it, they  know they would d word for them scenarios, is it d word even tho he knows he's lying as he's saying the oath? But doesn’t express the fact he would for them scenarios?
 
 11) am I correct in believing the only possible  way any d word can happen is by -minimum sound is so that the speaker can hear himself clearly? If not nothing else counts even with intention?
 
12. wife threatens to leave husband if he does something again she says “I’ll leave if you do this” and if the husband did the physical thing with intention of d word? Does it not count?
13. Same thing as number 12 but he does the thing without intention of d word rather he’s just annoyed at the threats. Does it not count?
 
14) when having these thoughts in your head- like “if I do this then ….” If the husband has these thoughts so he repeatedly does something or he avoids something again and again.l
Depending on the thought, For example a man may think “if I don’t ask my wife to come in house she is d word….”

So he keeps asking her to come in verbally (without saying the rest) if she doesn’t come in does nothing happen?

15. also what if a man had a thought “if I do this then…” and he then did the thing which is opening his mouth and touching his teeth with his tongue and got worried he had a conditional thought about doing it and he did it. He then opened his mouth again to check how he did it? Does this not do anything?
16. When trying to ignore thoughts he decided to not keep his tongue bitten so he let it free. He then has thoughts and keeps his tongue still because he’s scared soemthing could happen if it moves (like he’s saying something) and it moves does anything happen if he’s unsure if it happens on purpose or not.


17 If a man moves his tongue (without forming any words? with intention of causing an d word by doing that, does nothing happen?

18. What happens if a man tells himself he has no intention of d word in his head, his wife and him are happy on a drive, no issues. He goes to lick his teeth and has no thoughts in his head as he usually does. He then in the moment has a weird feeling (no thoughts no words) as he’s licking his teeth as if he does have intention of d word by doing this. Just a feeling inside him like he has intention by doing that? Does nothing happen as nothing is said or anything?

19- if a man says the word “conditional divorce” or just “ divorce “ in presence of his wife out loud with no intention, does nothing happen?

Also as I typed this and I typed “presence of his wife” and image of my wife popped up in my head? Again do thoughts like these do nothing ?

20-I was talking to my friend about relationships and a girl who he was with and who I was trying to push her to marry and make it halal,

and I said, “ You should never leave each other unless it's really bad” Then I got scared that it might be a conditional statement, so l added, “Even though even then you never leave””
I was also about to say, “You have done bad things but treated her good, but if you did bad things and treated her bad, then it makes sense that she isn't with you” Could either of these be considered a conditional divorce statement, and do they have any effect? , the condition potentially being the relationship being really bad or doing bad things and treating bad.

21. I once had the thought “if I don’t cheat on wife then d word” As I had this thought I was about to say the word “despicable” as these thoughts are despicable. I only ended up saying the letter “D” or I breathed out the letter D through my nose in rhythm of its sound. I don’t know which. So basically I’ve now had this thought and somehow expressed the letter D through my breath or whatever and I get terrified. I then the next day signed up to multiple dating apps to cheat ( I know extremely stupid) but then I realised the d I somehow was gonna express (which I’m not sure of I said or breathed out) was actually the word “despicable”. I also realised if a man says an incomplete phrase even with intention , such as he’s about to say d word with intention but only says letter d, it doesn’t count. So I started deleting all the apps and accounts.
I’m worried because:

22- When I made my bio or messaged women, I didn’t mention straight away, That I’m married on the apps or on some apps i didn’t mention at all. Does this do anything ?

23- When I deleted the apps they asked me the reason I’m deleting it. I simply chose the option which said “too many fake accounts” or “bots” does this do anything ?

24- I’m worried because on one of the apps they asked me why I want to delete, they gave 4 options which are:
Found/in a relationship
Billing issues
Dissatisfied with service
Other

And I don’t know which one to choose for this app.

My question is which option should I choose without causing anything ?


Thanks for your time and effort May Allah out you in the highest ranks of jannah in truly suffering and half the stupid things I’ve done in my thoughts is just tiring. I’m looking for OCD treatments etc but they take a lot of time to diagnose you or anything.

Jazakallah for answering.

As-salamu alaykum,
I seek guidance regarding the validity of my marriage. I am a Muslim man married to a Christian woman. Before our marriage, when I was not a practicing muslim, we engaged in zina (pre-marital intercourse).

Upon learning about the fiqh of interfaith marriages, I discovered that a Muslim man is not permitted to marry a non-chaste Christian woman unless both parties sincerely repent.
We attempted to rectify our situation by ceasing sexual relations and repenting before marriage. However, we continued to meet without a mahram and maintained physical contact (hugs, kisses) without sexual acts thinking that that is not fornication .

We have now been married for almost a year. During this time, I have started praying regularly and striving to follow Islamic teachings more closely and trying to bring my wife closer to embracing islam.

As we consider having kids, I am troubled by doubts about the validity of our marriage. I question the sincerity of our repentance, especially considering our continued meetings without a mahram prior to marriage.

I humbly seek advice on how to address this situation and ensure the validity of our marriage in the eyes of Allah.

Jazakom Allah khair for your guidance.

If a nikaah has happened but consummation didn't take place and that couple sit in a dining room which is usually accessible by everyone. The event goes out like this:
1) couple are in the room with the slightly opened door. People are in the house and that couple are not assured privacy. Brother of the husband enters the room without permission and the husband asks him to go out. Then either the husband closed the door without locking it or he left the door opened slightly.
2) brother after a few minutes again enters the room without permission. Husband then asks him to go out and closes the door without locking it. People were still outside.
3) after a few minutes mother of the husband knocks the door and the husband opens it and says the door is not locked. Mother then leaves the room while keeping the door open and says keep the door open we won't disturb you guys. But people were still outside and there was always a fear of someone entering.

Please let me know if this is khalwat e sahiha or no. Note that generally people would enter this room without permission and there were always people in the house so risk of someone entering was always there.

Also let me know it is khalwat e sahiha and divorce happens after khalwat e sahiha but before consummation. Will it be talaaq e bain or rajee? Note that this whole event would have been of 15 mins

Assalamualaikum.

I am asking on behalf of my friend Dr. Mamoun and his wife. Both of them are physicians and married for about 5 years and have a 1 year old daughter. They are going through a lot now so I am asking this question on their behalf.



Their marital life is apparently healthy except some intimacy issues. Last week they started a quarrel over a small thing which turned into a big fight. At a point the wife took a sharp vegetable knife and put it on the throat of husband and threatened him to give her 3 talaaq. The husband said he won't be giving any talaq even if she kills him. Then the aggressively angry wife held the knife on her throat and said, "If u don't give me 3 talaq now, I will kill myself now, give me talaaq now" the husband thought that she might really cut her carotid arteries and die and he may get into trouble and in fear to calm her down He said, "Talaaq, Talaaq, Talaaq"



After that both of them calmed down. Husband said, I said that to save your life and not to fall in trouble. I did not mean it. Wife Said, I was just scaring you. I dont want a talaq.

Dr. Mamoun and his wife knew some scholars personally around them, they got 3 different answers from 3 of them when asked about it in details.

1. Your talaaq has not taken place as you did it to save your wife's life. You are good.

2. Your 3 talaaq has been accomplished and you cannot live together anymore. You must get separated at once.

3. Giving 3 talaaq in one sitting counts as one talaaq. You can take back your wife and continue your family



The husband got more confused when he started browsing the Internet and listening to different famous scholars giving different rulings.



They are sincere and want to follow what is right and not to get into sins. They don't want to ruin the life of their daughter as broken family kids are looked down a lot in their culture and many goes through mental trauma. They are really desperate to keep the family going in the right Islamic way.



Please advise the right way to deal with this situation. We would be grateful if you tell us why other fatwas are not right. JazakAllah khair

Assalamu aleykum
I am married two years now. I was Muslim before I met my husband but didn’t pray regularly and didn’t follow all rules. My husband wanted to marry me before he really knew me and before he started to practice Islam. After he got to know me, he started to send me Islamic books and really tried to get me to an Islamic circle. Well I really started to feel guilty, when I didn’t pray and stuff and wanted to wear a hijab. After one year we had our nikkah. I really love him and he helps me to be near to Allah and doesn’t do anything (I see) that is prohibited.

Before I met my husband I had a haram relationship also with a Muslim, but he wasn’t praying and stuff. It was a sad relationship for me and also with an heartbreaking end. He texted me afterwards, but I wanted to practice Islam. Since I met my husband and find guidance I didn’t really miss him. But now that I am married it’s the second time that I start to questioning what would’ve happen, if I had answered him. If I could practice Islam with him and I start to not feel attracted to my husband also to questioning my feelings towards my husband. I fight against my will to text my ex. I don’t even know, if I want to end things with my husband. But I can’t fight against those feelings anymore. It lasted one week now.
Please help me, if you suggest any Duas or have any other suggestions just tell me. I don’t want to lose what I have with my husband and also don’t want to lose the nearness to Allah. But it makes me so sad to never be able to talk to my ex again, to never be with him again.

Hi I was married and my husband is infertile so he gave me talaq so I can have child. Me and third person had temporary nikkah to have child we done online nikkah
My question is online nikkah is allowed in Islam ? And after this temporary nikah can I marry to my ex husband again as he knows everything and in shia religion temporary nikkah is allowed we ask some of the mufti he said these all are allowed so I’m not comfused ?
Jazak Allah

Brothers i may have given a 1st divorce to my wife and i am confused as well please advise

for context - years ago my father out of nowhere said to my mother i give you my first talaq now. Because she speaks very rude to him

anyway i was very angry at my wife as she was rude to me and recently shes been quite aggressive i do so much for her but i feel the appreciation isnt there, i try make her life easier shes a very good wife we have children overall i am happy with her but recently shes been not as good - she always goes in a mood and iv told her i want peace and a good life

usually when she argues i say i think you never liked me so if you really want you can leave me and find someone better (immature i know) but deep down its like a threat not saying i want you to go an marry someone else- shes not very loving but thats her nature....

anyway usually i say to her youve gone quite rude and the way you speak to me sometimes and make my life abit harder than it is better you jus leave now and go to your mums house but its always a threat never you leave now

today.. i said to her if you keep carrying on 'like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now'

now i was angry but i dont think this is a 1st talaq, i still think this is a threat of talaq

but she is saying that after that i said 'which i will give you now' i wasvery angry i do not remember but i know i said- i dont think this is a talaq as i nevet said this is your first divorce etc



' like my father i wil not hesitate to give you your first talaq right now'

i did not say you are divorced for ever, or say you are divorced three times, or said i give you talaq, but i said like my father i will not HESITATE to give you a talaq right now (or 1st talaq right now) nor did i say i give you the first talaq now?

if i said what i said ' 'like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now'
2 if i said what she is saying i said ''like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now, so ill give you it now) but i did not say so here is my 1st talaq

worst case scenario if she has got her first talaq, shes in her idda now, if i say to her i am taking you back or be intimate with her is this reversed? i will do both and never mention the word talaq ever- or tell her to go to her mums if she wont improve her attitde( the only time i tell her to go home or leave me is based on the fact if she wont stop being rude etc)

obv i have learnt my lesson - to do these threats, or talk about talaq, no matter how angry i wont mention it but just upset and feeling paranoid? overall these words were used as a threat never in my mind i wanted to divorce her because i love her....

In short-

If i said ‘like my father i will not hesitate to give you the first talaq right now’

Or what my wife says (i was angry and do not remember) i said like my father i will not hestiate to give you the first talaq right now which i am going to give you now

Throughout this the intention which was made clear to her was on the basis she does not change moving forward at not any point i was thinking of giving her the first talaq