Marriage - General

Marriage - General
21st January 2008

How do we say "his deen is good"?

Asalamualaykum warahmatullah


when it comes to marriage and finding a spouse for sisters, things aren't always fair, halal, or easy, but alhumdulillah many times they are. The question is below given in situational form, insha'Allah this way it will make more sense.


a family recieves a proposal from a brothers family, the sisters parents know the family for quite a long time and both families have always had great relations. The problem is the sister is on one [western]country with her family, while the brother is in another 'western' country studying, both of them are on different continents. The sister or the brother in question have NEVER met one another, unless he remembers her from his childhood as the girl was very very young then while he must have been between the ages of 5-7, and she was probably a toddler or infant.


All of this aside, even now the brother and sister have no contact and pretty much the proposal has been lingering as she is still young and he is still studying, but its something both parental sides would love for their children to consider and analyze, and insha'Allah accept. The sister doesnt know how the brother feels about any of this, and the sister in question isnt really too keen on looking into this proposal as she has no idea about his deen.


From what she knows of the family-mostly the dad- as she's seen him before and heard form him more[both fathers are good frineds and keep in contact everyso often] since he travels alot.they are a reall good family, but when it comes to deen she isn't sure, moreover she is hesitant to even bother looking into this because hes been living away from home [abroad] studying etc. She isnt TOO concernrd if the family members arent strict strict but she does care. She herself does hijaab, jilbaab and insha'Allah has plans to start niqaab[right now the issue is her parents, who arent too fond of niqaab.] the issues are many, one for instance would be what if this brother isnt too strict about gender interaction or fond of niqaab? What if he doesnt agree w/ her having already given bayah, what if he doesnt even understand it?


Aside from that what if he isn't one to pray 5 times a day, reading quran, making astaghfar and salwat regularly etc? Now if she asks her older sister-who knows teh fmaily from when they were young- and the answer she recieves is: "yea he prays"... wat if shes not content with that?


The sister isnt looking to marry a saint but she would prefer her future husband to be one who follows not only the shari'ah but ALSO the sunnah [i.e sunnah beard etc] she wants to marry someone who doesnt practice Islam only b/c he was raised to do so..but someone who does it becuase he LOVES to do so and also other obvious reasons.... again she isnt looking nor expecting to marry a saint..but someone who Loves Allah, Habibullah Sal'Allahualaihiwasalam, the sahaba Akram RadhiAllahuanhu, Islam, Shariah, Sunnah.. the whole package... Respected Shaykh im sure you understand what she is meaning by this.


If the answers she recieves are things such as "yea he prays..." etc.. how does she go about deciding if she should even look more into the proposal? From what i understand, if a proposal comes for any sister, and the brother in question is one who's "deen is good," who can support her, etc, she does not have valid reason to decline his proposal or to not even look into it.


Is this true? Afterall how would she go about deciding if "his deen in good" with simple answers like "yes he prays" "yes he belives in Allah"... what is a sister to do? We can't judge anyones character, which is why she is hesitant on making judgments but how does she decide. how do we figure out where to draw the line of finding out abt a prospective spouse? as sisters how can we judge someones' deen..as we generally as humans arent supposed to judge anyone at all?


if we can tell who is well off masha'Allah, who can support a spouse, who will repsect their in-laws, etc..How are we supposed to know if "someones deen is good?"


Your replies are greatly appreciated, may Allah reward you and your family abundantly insha'Allah.


Walaykumasalam warahmatullah.

Marriage - General
21st January 2008

Marriage

salams


i have been married for 6 months. i find it so difficult to trust my husband as i beleive he has not been honest with me. before our marriage he was chatting to another girl, when i confronted him he said it was a friend. He does treat me well, and shows love and affection, however i feel incomplete. i am always worried about him and his actions when i am not around him. I can not continue to go on like this as it will destroy my marriage. I try to pray and keep my mind occupied but it is difficult. Please advise me what i can do.

Marriage - General
16th January 2008

PRIVATE ISSUE (Question which is not answered)

Assalam aleykum could u please answer this question ID # 2914 A.S.A.P. its quite important since i dont trust alot of internet site please try to understand what i am trying to say
Marriage - General
3rd January 2008

Acceptance witout witnesses.

A boy and a girls wirte 3 times on a paper with their signatures that they both accept each other with out any other witness and if the same persons introduce each other as a wife husband to others.. do such thing can count as "Nikah"
Marriage - General
2nd January 2008

2 important questions...

assalamu alaykum,

first of all, i begin by praising the almighty allah and ask him to reward you for your efforts to serve this deen. i have two questions, both of which are of utmost importance to me.. 1) i wanted to know about the permissability with regards to wearing coloured contact lenses within the boundaries of hijab..i.e:i am unmarried and i do full hijab..is it permissable for me to wear them in the house, in such a way that non-maharim cannot see me? 2) secondly, a friend of mine is currently studying to become an alimah..she recently began a kind-of text message and fone relationship with a muslim brother, who also happens to be studying to become an alim..they know they have done wrong, and try really hard not to converse with each other but can`t help it. he hasn`t even seen her but he truly does claim to want to spend the rest of his life with her..shes also feels the same way..he has told his mum, and she said that she will sort it out in 4 years, after my friend becomes faarig..but 4 years is a long time and i know they will continue their relationshio, though i know for a fact that they will not physically commit zina..they will, however keep in touch via phone- she is asking my advice and i simply don`t know what is in her best interests.please advise me as to how i should respond.... jazakallahukhair, fa ahsanal jazaa

Marriage - General
2nd January 2008

Wives???

a personn asked as to why prophet s.a.w. had 11 wives where as islam only permits 4.
I always thought that this was one of the speciality of our prophet s.a.w.
Is there any other reason why (if u hav reference then i humbly request)
Marriage - General
15th December 2007

Conditions of nikha

please tell me if two people have their nikha performed in front
of 2 female and 1 male witness and the khutba is read
but the famalies of both people do not about it, is the nikha valid

wasalam

mit2
Marriage - General
15th December 2007

Marriage- general

assalamualakum.
i feel ready to get married but their to seem to be no decent proposals comming however my parents are not worried because they are leaving it to allah s.w.t as i am also but some time i get bad thoughts i have been reciting the dua that you have published in one of your answers but if you have any other wazifaah tp recite please reply back.
jazakallah.
Marriage - General
9th December 2007

Istikhara query

My parents have found a suitable match for me. Both myself and the male have spoken and agreed to this marraige. Both parties are happy and have no doubts.
Is istikhara still necessary?
Marriage - General
2nd December 2007

Wazifa for marriage

please give me a wazifa of marriage,,,i would like to marry that type of boy (gud nature,gud looking,educated,strong famliy back ground,honest
and gud for me)
Marriage - General
5th November 2007

Can i marry an educated woman?

Assalamualaikum

I wanna ask a Question regarding my marrage.

I am alhamdulillah a hafiz ul Quran and an imam in a mosque. i wanna marry a girl, who is studying medical and wanna become a doctor in future, and she say she wanna work in a public hospital and she doesnt wanna cover her face and will not cover after marrage.

i am alhamdulillah an imam, i told her, i wont let you work in a public hospital but i will get a private surgery where you can only treat women intseat of men. but she doesnt agree with me and she say,, i will work with man,

other thing, i told her, you have to cover your face. she doesnt agree with me for this thing as well.

now i dont know what to do. can u please give me some advice in the view of islam,

1) can i marry such a kind of modern girl
2) am i right of asking her to cover her face.

i will be pleased if you can sort my problem out
jazakallah
asif
Marriage - General
3rd November 2007

Halala

Dear sir,
If the Prophet MUHAMMAD (PBUH) regret about HALALA, so why this word is in the Islam,
what is the order to that women who divorced and again want to merry with the person from she divorced and the man also.
If HALALA is not in the Islam, than in my veiw she will complete the time of Iddat and oppalogize from GOD (both of them man and women) and then they will make a NIKKAH again.
if i m wrong than kindly guide me with references.
Marriage - General
25th October 2007

Is it permissible for me to marry my cousine's daughter

How are you my dear brother in islam.
See my aunt married a man out of our family. Her son then married a woman also totally out our family, but THEIR DAUGHTER and i really like each other. Is it permissible for us jet marry? please repley. masha allah
Marriage - General
17th October 2007

About marriage

So far twice divorce has taken place in our marriage . I am frequent visitor of your website i have another question on divorce .


Today i wanted to have sex with my wife and she was not in mood i tried to convince her but she was not ready for it , then without any intention or will i uttered words without having the will to utter some what like , as a question " Harram hai Tu Mere par" if i translate this in English it would be like "Haraam you are for me" or " Haraam are you for me" i think it could go both way but my intention was certainly not to make her haraam on me and neither i wanted to utter these words it all just happened(Since she was refusing sex) no way it was in my mind any thing else


Please let me know does it have any effect on my marriage my intention was not to make her harram on me and i intended to make comment as a question to her. Secondly i am also not 100% sure that such words were uttered as they happened to come out of my mouth without my control but looks like more likely i uttered as such

Marriage - General
9th October 2007

Mut'ah

We were discussing Nikah-e- Mut'ah on a forum.

http://forums.gawaher.com/index.php?showtopic=3668

it was forbade by the prophet peace be upon him during his life time according to the Bukhari hadeeth. But one person brought up the hadeeth from Muslim. Hadeeth of Bukhari is:

It was narrated from ?Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade mut?ah marriage and the meat of domestic donkeys at the time of Khaybar. According to another report, he forbade mut?ah marriage at the time of Khaybar and he forbade the meat of tame donkeys.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3979; Muslim, 1407.

And the hadeeth of muslim is:
Book 008, Number 3250:
Abu Nadra reported: While I was in the company of Jabir b. Abdullah, a person came to him and said that Ibn 'Abbas and Ibn Zubair differed on the two types of Mut'as (Tamattu' of Hajj 1846 and Tamattu' with women), whereupon Jabir said: We used to do these two during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him). Umar then forbade us to do them, and so we did not revert to them

Mut'ah was forbidden by the prophet peace be upon him, so what is the meaning of the Muslim hadeeth?

I want to know how to answer to a person who brings the Muslim hadeeth up.

http://forums.gawaher.com/index.php?showtopic=3668&view=findpost&p=38147


Also Mut'ah is where one marries a woman, has sexual intercourse with her, than divorces her?
Muwaqqat is: Temporary marriage. E.g for one year?
Am I right?
Jazakumullahu khairan in Advance.
Marriage - General
6th October 2007

Engagement in Islam

Assalamu-alaykum mufti sahib. I will be getting married in 3 months time inshallah and wanted to know if engagements are allowed in Islam. In an engagement, you hold the lady's hand and put the ring in the finger and as far as I know, you aren't supposed to touch a lady without doing nikah. Another point I'd like to mention is that how long of a gap should there be from engagement to nikah. For example, would it be possible to have the nikah 3 months after the engagement? In this gap, would I be able to meet my fianc? alone to get to 'know' her and understand her? I know for a fact i WILL get married to her as my family is happy with this relation and I KNOW the engagement will not break. If I'm not allowed to meet her, then what is the purpose of the engagement? What rights do I have over my fianc?? I hope you could answer my question as I will need to know if i could go ahead with the arrangements. Jazakumullah-khayrun.

Regards,
Brother Salman
Marriage - General
5th October 2007

Is nikah is permissible

Assalamoalaikum

Hope you will be in good health.
I want to know that
1-The nikah without vali is valid or not.
2-If a girl want to marry a person and her father is not allowing her.what is the condition in that case.
3-what if the girl is not virgin.
jazakumullah khair
wsallam
Marriage - General
4th October 2007

Validity of nikkah

If the girl at the time of signing the marriage-contract is not accepting it from her heart, but signs it; but after several years of her marriage accepts it from her heart; is the nikkah valid?
Marriage - General
29th September 2007

Walimah

Salaams

Is it jaiz to invite Non-Muslim's to ones walima?
What if they are lodgers or neighbours?

Salaams
Marriage - General
28th September 2007

To interpret a dream

salams mufti saab


I prayed istikharah for a girl,last night i saw something,i saw me finding a key then opening something with it,I dont know if it was a sign or just a normal dream.It sounds silly but i hope you can interpret it for me.I apologise for the lack of information


Zazakallah.