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Stuck Whether Did I Utter In Loud Voice or Inner Monologue In The Past?

Last updated: 20th June 2026
Question ID: #13212
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I am writing to seek your guidance regarding a matter that has caused me severe, ongoing mental distress. I have been constantly ruminating and replaying an event from September 22, 2024, every single day. The main issue I face is that my mind keeps forcing me to ask the same questions countless times: a. Was it actually spoken out loud, was it just mouthing without a voice, or was it merely an inner monologue? (Did I actually hear it with my own ears?) b. If I did utter it, was it directed at my wife? Did I explicitly mention her name, use a pronoun like "you," or say "my wife"—or was there no attribution at all? c. If it was indeed uttered, did I say talaq 1 or talaq 3? To provide some important context: in January 2025, I went to the Syariah Court for verification. The process was highly challenging because, due to severe fear and constant rumination, I could not recall or state the exact sentence with any certainty. Initially, the court could not verify anything because I was unable to provide a definitive statement for the judge to review. To allow the session to proceed, I eventually told the judge what I thought I might have said while alone, which was, for example "I div__ce you." When the judge asked about my level of certainty, I replied that it was "50-50"—meaning there was a 50% chance it was uttered out loud, and a 50% chance it was just silent mouthing without sound. Consequently, based on this lack of certainty, the court ruled that no talaq had occurred. Despite this official court ruling, I still feel deeply anxious, obsessive, and scared. My mind keeps tormenting me because I never specified to the judge whether it was talaq 1 or talaq 3 in that hypothetical scenario. This leaves me feeling incredibly uneasy, causing me to replay the event of September 22, 2024, over and over again in a loop. I am very scared and exhausted by these thoughts. Given that the court already ruled that no talaq occurred due to my 50-50 uncertainty, should I accept this as final and ignore these thoughts as waswas (obsessive doubts)? Or am I required to go to the court again to do another verification? I would deeply appreciate your guidance. Jazak'Allah Khairan.



بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الجواب حامداومصليا

The Shariah court judgement is valid you must follow it. Discard your doubts and Waswasa.

And Allah knows best.

14 Muharram 1448/ 30 June 2026

Mufti
Answer last updated on:
30th June 2026
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 04
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