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Asalamualaikum warahmatula hiwabarakatuhu,
I need urgent guidance!!!
I am a university student and I am not financially stable at all. Is there any way you can help me? I am mentally really disturbed!
I am a girl, I turned 18 last year and I'm entering my second year of university in september inshallah. I like a guy who is 6/7 years older than me and Alhamdulillah by the help and blessings of Allah (S.W.T) he is earning really well and he is capable enough to build a family on his own. I really want to get married because he is the right person for me, our personalities match, he brings me closer to my deen, he is really respectful and I want to make everything halal. He is also ready to get married to me, and there are no restrictions from his family either. My mom found out about him and we decided to come clear to her, and he spoke to her. She concluded by saying that I am too young and that he is Pakistani and I am an Indian so it's not possible, because if we get married everyone will get to know I chose my partner by myself and everyone will start talking. We have gone through every situation together and I have known him for 5 months now. I know he is the guy I want to marry because Alhamdulillah we have helped each other a lot to get on the path of Allah and we love each other for the sake of Allah.
I have even prayed to Istikhara and his mom also found out about us and she was so happy, because she got to know me and she loves me as a person. His older sister also met me and she knows that I am willing to get married and I will be a good wife to him. His father called my dad and told him that he wants to meet and talk about us but my dad brushed it off and said I will call you later and he never called him back. My relationship with my parents has ruined and they are always threatening to throw me out of the house and they keep telling me to leave. We were in Dubai for 14 years and came to Canada 3 years ago, my dad is planning to take us back because he says that the only reason we came here was for my studies but I am not studying and I have fallen in traps so he is planning to take us all back. My mom keeps bringing up my past and tells me I am the same person, but Alhamdulillah I have changed a lot and no one but Allah knows that!
There are so many people out there telling us to do a secret nikkah and get married because my parents are making terrible decisions right now, but we don't want that, that's our last option, we want my parents to bless me and wed me off happily. He wants that too, he doesn't want my parents to think bad of him.
We both had a lot of problems over the last months and they were really extreme at points where we kept leaving but Allah swt kept sending us signs and kept bringing us together. I know that he is the right one because he is literally the male and mature version of me. Our thinking’s are alike.
And moreover the important part for me is that we both were lost in this world, but Alhamdulilah ever since we met each other, we have drawn ourselves and each other really really close to Allah and we are using the love triangle where we know Allah is at the top and we have to love Allah (S.W.T) to get close to each other. We both have helped each other to this point that we both pray 5 times a day and we don't miss one single prayer. We pray 20 rakats of taraweeh straight and we wake up for tahajjud as well, which I know I would never do because I have a really deep sleep but alhamdulillah an hour before fajr eyes just open up.
I have completely lost my interest in this world. I swear upon Allah, I am just 18 but I have witnessed so many deaths at a younger age. And I just want to kill myself, but I know it is haram and I am avoiding all the haram work. But I am really fed up with this world and everyone is so much into haram. Literally my parents are avoiding such a beautiful blessing that is knocking at their door and they are stopping me from making something halal and they are making haram easier.
I had a business of my own repairing phones and I was such a good student and loved studying computer science, but ever since I have drawn myself closer to Islam, I am no longer interested in anything anymore. I know that this world is literally an ocean and if we take a bucket and fill it with the oceans water is what we have to take with us on the day of judgement. I am no longer interested in studying anything. I want to become an Islamic teacher or an Ailmah, so that I can spread the word of islam and become a better muslim, because that is the only occupation that will at least bring me closer to my deen and help me in my akhirah.
Please tell me what I should do? Because i really know he is the guy and it’s not about the rizq either because Allah said in the Quran if the person is a character of akhlaq and is a proper Muslim, marry him, i will put barakah in the marriage. And Alhamdulilah he is becoming a better Muslim and we both are helping each other. And we don’t even want to get married right now, we just want to do nikkah and turn things into halal and do it the proper way!
Jazakallah
