Sara
1
Assalamu aleykum
I am married two years now. I was Muslim before I met my husband but didn’t pray regularly and didn’t follow all rules. My husband wanted to marry me before he really knew me and before he started to practice Islam. After he got to know me, he started to send me Islamic books and really tried to get me to an Islamic circle. Well I really started to feel guilty, when I didn’t pray and stuff and wanted to wear a hijab. After one year we had our nikkah. I really love him and he helps me to be near to Allah and doesn’t do anything (I see) that is prohibited.
Before I met my husband I had a haram relationship also with a Muslim, but he wasn’t praying and stuff. It was a sad relationship for me and also with an heartbreaking end. He texted me afterwards, but I wanted to practice Islam. Since I met my husband and find guidance I didn’t really miss him. But now that I am married it’s the second time that I start to questioning what would’ve happen, if I had answered him. If I could practice Islam with him and I start to not feel attracted to my husband also to questioning my feelings towards my husband. I fight against my will to text my ex. I don’t even know, if I want to end things with my husband. But I can’t fight against those feelings anymore. It lasted one week now.
Please help me, if you suggest any Duas or have any other suggestions just tell me. I don’t want to lose what I have with my husband and also don’t want to lose the nearness to Allah. But it makes me so sad to never be able to talk to my ex again, to never be with him again.
