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My boyfriend is already married

Last updated: 11th July 2023
Question ID: #8849
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Hello, I’m a converted Muslim (Hanafi) and I live in Turkey. I converted to Islam 2 years ago (I was Protestant). I wear hijab and I live following all the Sunnahs from our Prophet (SAW). I met my boyfriend a year ago, we are so in love like we have never felt in our lives and we both want to marry. But he is already married and has 3 kids, ages 4, 8 and 13. He has been in an unhappy marriage for years just for the sake of the kids but he doesn’t want to divorce his wife because it’s something extremely bad from where he is and he could lose his kids custody. His family doesn’t know of my existence but his wife obviously knows that there is someone else in his life since he doesn't spend any time with her, they don't sleep together... she is fine with that as long as he provides for the family since she is a housewife. He is a wealthy and very generous man, and he cares a lot for his children and I know that if he would divorce he would still support them financially. My case is different since I have a job, but he also supports me a lot. He asked me to do the Nikah with me even though 2nd marriage isn’t allowed in Turkey. I want to marry him more than anything but I don't know what I should do. I'm in my 30s and he's in his 40s so we are not kids. Thank you

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الجواب حامداومصليا

Both must repent to Allah as you have formed a Haram relationship.

A husband has the wish to marry more than one except that he treats equally between them. Otherwise, he keeps to only one.

“And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or (slaves) that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice.” [al-Nisa 4:3]

And Allah knows best

25 Rabiul Awwal 1445/ 10 October 2023

Answer last updated on:
10th October 2023
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 04
Location: London