Waqas
1
**Subject: Marriage Question — Divorced Woman Whose Guardian Refuses Without Valid Reason**
*Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,*
*I am writing to request your guidance on a matter of marriage that has caused our families great difficulty for over a year.*
**About me:** I am a Muslim man, originally from Pakistan and currently residing in the United States, where I hold a stable job and support myself independently. I was previously married and that marriage ended in divorce. I have no criminal history. I am serious in my intention and fully prepared to fulfill all the obligations of a husband — the mahr, provision, housing, and treatment of a wife with ihsan, as Allah has commanded.
**About the sister:** Salma is a Moroccan Muslim woman. She was previously married, and that marriage ended in divorce. She is therefore a thayyib (a previously married woman).
**How we came to know each other:** We first made contact in September 2025, when I was going through my own divorce proceedings. Over time, our conversations became serious with the intention of marriage. I asked her directly whether her parents would agree to marry her to me, and she told me they would, because she herself is a divorced woman and they had accepted her first marriage as her own choice.
**Our relationship was never hidden:** For more than 13 months, we have spoken with the full knowledge of her family. Her mother knows about me. Her brothers know about me. Her sister knows about me. Salma even informed her father directly that she was speaking with a man who wished to marry her, and her father told her, *"We will talk about it when the time comes."* Her mother went further — she told Salma that after the marriage, a room in the family home would be designated for me, so that whenever I visit from abroad, we would stay there as her husband. We understood this as the family preparing to welcome me.
**What happened:** When Salma formally approached her father with the marriage proposal this year — we had planned to marry in November — he refused. His only stated reason is that I am a foreigner, and that "foreigners do not treat their wives the right way." He has given no other objection. No one has asked about my faith, my character, my work, or my family — no one has ever given me the opportunity to meet the family, to answer their questions, or to present myself in any way. I have been completely excluded from the process; I am told they do not even wish to hear my name. Salma has pleaded with her father multiple times, in front of other family members, and he continues to refuse.
**My question:** A divorced woman — a thayyib — has more right to herself than her guardian, according to the authentic hadith of Khansaa bint Khidram al-Hilaliyyah (Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim), and Allah says in Surah al-Baqarah (2:232) not to prevent divorced women from remarrying on fair terms. At the same time, I know the hadith "There is no marriage except with a wali" is also authentic.
Please clarify:
1. In our situation, may Salma marry without her father's consent, given that his only objection is my nationality — a reason the Shari'ah does not recognize as valid grounds for refusal?
2. If she may not, what is the correct, permissible procedure for her in Morocco? Can a judge (qadi) or an authorized body act as her wali, and what steps would that require?
3. Is a marriage contracted after such a refusal valid, or would it be contested?
4. What is the responsibility of the wali in this case — is he sinning by continuing to refuse without a Shari'ah-valid reason?
5. What is your advice for how I should proceed — and is there anything I can do from abroad to correct this situation?
I am not seeking a loophole or a secret marriage. I want a marriage that is correct in the sight of Allah and accepted by her family, and I am willing to take whatever lawful steps that requires. I ask Allah to guide you as you answer, and I thank you for your time.
*Jazakum Allahu khairan.*
*Chaudhary Waqas Shafqat*
McAlester, Oklahoma
405 450-4107
