I’m having trouble believing. I was a faithful believer from an early age. However, experiences in later life such as failed relationships, career set-backs…..etc I’ve found to be severely disconcerting to the point where I’m having difficulty believing. I tried to regroup and get my life together but, the same fate seems to beset me on each occasion. I feel abandoned and even condemned God. I look at my peers and family friends and see that God has blessed them more than me in spite of them being atheists or non-practicing believers.
Why do I have to suffer so much in life regardless of always trying to be a good person? Why doesn’t God help me?
Al-jawab billahi at-taufeeq (the answer with Allah's guidance)
Be patient in Allah Ta'ala. As Allah Ta'ala promises much benefits, rewards and peace for those who are patient.
Allah Ta'ala says:
"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.).
Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly! To Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return."
They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e. blessings, etc.) (i.e. who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His Mercy, and it is they who are the guided-ones. " (2:155-157)
"Are you not aware how the ships speed through the sea by Allahs favour, so that He might show you some of His wonders? In this, verily, there are messages indeed for all who are wholly patient in adversity and deeply grateful [to Allah]." (31:31)
"All that is with you is bound to come to an end, whereas that which is with Allah is everlasting. And most certainly shall We grant unto those who are patient in adversity their reward in accordance with the best that they ever did." (16:96)
"Peace be upon you, because you have persevered!" How excellent, then, this fulfilment in the hereafter!" (13:24)
In man there are two conflicting forces. One force urges him towards Deen and righteousness and the other drives him towards lust and desire. So, the force that urges man towards Deen and righteousness and controls lust and desire is called 'Sabr'.
Difficulty and hardship is hated by the Nafs and tries to conquer and lead one astray through shameful and disobedient acts. We must remember, that this world is incomplete which has the quality of the two complete worlds (Paradise and Hell). People of Paradise will always enjoy and be happy, no sorrow will ever inflict them. In contrast to Hell, which the people of Hell will always be in pain and sorrow, no happiness will ever inflict them.
Hence, when hardship afflicts one, it maybe a blessing or a form of punishment. We cannot say for sure if it is a blessing or punishment but leave it to Allah. One should not say the word, 'If'. Instead, say whatever has happened was the Will of Allah Ta’ala and accept it and surrender yourself to Him.
Know, that Allah Ta’ala is Al-Hakeem (The Wise), whatever Allah Ta’ala decrees is better for us.
Never complain about your fate or hold in your mind that Allah has become displeased with one, this can weaken the bond with Allah Ta'ala and only just increase difficulties and sadness.
A person who is afflicted should reflect on the reward that Allah Ta'ala has promised, "A person who is patient Allah rewards him without a measure." This quality of 'Sabr' will give relief and lesson grief and depression. InshaAllah.
Never cease in prayers. Always seek help in patience and prayers.
"O you who have attained to faith! Seek aid in steadfast patience and prayer: for, behold, Allah is with those who are patient in adversity." (2:153)
Allah Loves his servants.
The Prophet said, “When Allah loves a servant, He tests him,” (Tirmidhi).
Many hardships befall on Allah’s beloved like the Prophets (Peace and blessings be upon them all). Because Allah Ta’ala loves all of His Creations.
Indeed, Our beloved Rasul (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) endured hardships in the path of truthfulness.
Trust in Allah only. Always seek Allah's help.
"If Allah helps you, none can overcome you. If He forsakes you, who then can help you after Him? Therefore, in Allah let the believers put all their trust." (3:160)
Remember, you must struggle against your Nafs in doing good deeds and obeying Allah Ta'ala and His Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam). Allah Ta'ala says, "Those who strive hard in our cause (worships), We will guide them in our paths (to the Deen), Indeed Allah is with those who do good deeds." (45:69)
Have trust in Allah and fear Him the way He should be feared.
Allah Ta'ala Says,
"And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine." (65:2-3).
Remember, for every hardship, the result will be good.
Allah Ta'ala says, "So verily, with the hardship, there is relief..(94:6)
How to acquire 'Sabr':
Weaken the desires and conquer it, Obey Allah Ta'ala and His Messenger (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam), Stay away from all sins, and remember Allah Ta'ala abundantly.