Mohammed
1
Hello. This may be a bit long but it’s super personal and it’s affected me throughout a great portion of my life. I’ve never spilled my guts like this before so it’s coming out all at once. I’d appreciate it if you read the whole thing and go through what I went through with me. I’ve had to build up the courage to even make this post.
Ever since I was around 13 when I hit puberty my nose got bigger. A lot bigger. I never cared until I got taunted for it. Now I care a lot. Sometimes when I meet new people after we get close enough to trash talk or friendly banter they ALWAYS comment about my nose. It would be easier to name the friends that didn’t comment on how big my nose is since they would probably be 2 or 3 idk. But I know that the majority of my friends comment about it.
I use the word “comment” to sugarcoat the situation but it was nothing short of humiliation. My aunts make a comment about it almost every week. Last time I showed my aunt a video of my self doing something and she said “I didn’t pay attention to the video I was just looking at your nose”. My own mother. Yes my MOTHER makes fun of my nose. I brush it off like I don’t cry myself to sleep every once in a while about it.
I’m a man. Sure I’m a young man but I hardly cry. I don’t remember the last time I cried but I guarantee you it was due to the humiliation I was getting. I had hardly anyone to vent about this to, not even my mother as she is a major source of my insecurity. I showed her a picture of my self once and she said “it’s mostly a picture of a nose”.
I don’t smile in pictures or laugh in front of others without covering my face since that makes my nose larger and others will switch to laughing at my nose. It’s taking away the fundamentals of my social life. Laughing and smiling. I want anyone reading this to thank allah that they can smile without feeling grossly insecure about it.
I used to have acne so I got on accutane which is a medication that helps get rid of acne but as a side effect it also makes your nose smaller. I got excited when I found this out. I took it for one month and it kind of did get a bit smaller. Even my aunt which takes makes fun of me almost weekly said that it got a bit smaller. I was over the moon. UNTIL I went to do a blood test the next week and found out that my liver enzymes got dangerously high and I need to get off this medication. My nose got big again and the mockery started all over. It was a false hope which in a way was worse than no hope at all as I got used to being hopeless about it. It was a spit in my face. Nothing short of it. I still remember my reaction at the doctors office, I remember her exact words, I even remover what the room smelled like. I can’t forget that day when I was told that I had to get off of the medication. It was horrible and it was all I thought about during long drives home for a month straight. The doctor’s words came out so causally like it didn’t matter that I just got my only hope ripped away from me. It’s like giving a blind man the ability to see but only for 1 day. Juuuussst to let him know what he’s missing out on. It still taunts me to this day but thankfully not nearly as much.
Eh. Why should I bore you with more and more situations. All you should know is that it’s definitely abnormally large. I mean, it better be nothing short of abnormal if that many people taunt me about it.
I always heard that if something is abnormal in your body you can change it. Sure my nose isn’t crooked or with one nostril but it sure is abnormally large.
Is it permissible for someone like me to do a nose job?
