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Mental sickness

Last updated: 29th August 2021
Question ID: #5922
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I am from domestic violence family. My parents have abusive relationship. Generally Muslim misinterpret quran surah an nissa. They bit their wife. In law bit their wife' . People teach what is rights of husband but don't teach what is farz of husband. There are different type of dowry in different cultures. You have to give truck full of iftari. You have to give expensive marriage party other wise women torture. Men don't give mehr but they want food from their wife. If girls parents give iftari, boys mother monetize it how much prize iftari it is. If a women divorce her husband for domestic violence society slender women. They say my husband also bit me but talaq gunaah. U r women and u have to bear it. I am unmarried and due to my parents domestic violence I am having mental illness. Now parents don't respect mentel patient. When I was in class 12 I fought with my parents to consult psychiatrist. I was having suicidal thought. After medicine I was fine. I didn't have suicidal thought but I stopped medicine. Society think it stigma to consult psychiatrist. When I told my mother to consult psychiatrist, I am having suicidal thought she burned my hand by saying let's have taste of jahannam. Well I wanted to consult to psychiatrist because suicide is haram.when my parents burned me I told I will bit you .i am having ocd. I can't sit in one place I self talk. My parents tell one who will marry me will bit my parents with shoe because I am pagal. I never thought about society. I am ambitious. I wanted to study. I had hope that one day I will get cure and get married. But now I am not able to study in depression. My cousin sister had baby and my father scolded me. Whenever I attend marriage party people comment on my looks. I am not beautiful. No one will marry me. Now my life became hard. I was namaji but now I stopped it. I stopped it not because I don't have faith but because due to depression I became unproductive. I know marriage is not something possible even if I get cure. People will comment and call me mental. I was in one sided love with person who made me namaji hijabi Ramzan fast but how he can marry mental I'll patients. He rejected. I have not seen him from 5 years and have no contact. I told my parents because of domestic violence I am I'll. They said why my brother is not I'll. Now I am not able to study eat due to loneliness. I have nothing except study. But due to loneliness I am not able to study. I got scolding from teacher for not doing assignment properly. Now I am 21 years. I know marriage is not something possible. I should focus on my study but I mean not able to study due to loneliness. Now my question is how I'll person should live alone. People will scold mental I'll patients. They treat us burden. I know I am not capable of marriage. I am I'll. But I am not able to live alone. I pretend in front of parents that I don't want to marry. If I will cry then they will say me it's your fault. Even if I don't cry then they will scold for not getting married. If I show them my emotion then my conditions will become worse. Well now I want to study but how to study

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الجواب حامداومصليا

Do not be sad and you are not alone, Allah is with you. You will get through this and continue to have hope in Allah.

وَلَا تَيْأَسُوا مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّهُ لَا يَيْأَسُ مِنْ رَوْحِ اللَّهِ إِلَّا الْقَوْمُ الْكَافِرُونَ

"Truly no one despairs of Allah's Soothing Mercy except those who have no faith. (Surah Yusuf 12:87)

Mental health exist, as Muslims we need to maintain our mental health well being like our physical and spiritual health. As Muslims we submit our will to Our creator and have an obligation to fulfill, we observe Salah, fast, zakat and Hajj.

You must reconnect yourself to your creator. Allah will guide you and show you away if you believe in Him and trust in Him.

وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا

وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا

....."And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out, And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent." (Surah Talaq 65:3)

Allah loves you.

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ

"Surely, Allah loves those who place their trust in Him." (Surah Aal Imran 3:159)

You must accept your fate Qadr and exercise Sabr (patience).

مَا أَصَابَ مِن مُّصِيبَةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مِّن قَبْلِ أَن نَّبْرَأَهَا إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ

"No calamity befalls the earth or your own selves, but it is (pre-destined) in a Book before We bring it into being, Indeed it is easy for Allah." (Surah Al Hadid 57:22)

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اسْتَعِينُوا بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلَاةِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ

"O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer. Surely, Allah is with those who are patient." (Surah Baqarah 2:153)

Ask Allah to help you as He listen to your prayers.

وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ فَلْيَسْتَجِيبُوا لِي وَلْيُؤْمِنُوا بِي لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْشُدُونَ

"When My servants ask you about Me, then (tell them that) I am near. I respond to the call of one when he prays to Me; so they should respond to Me, and have faith in Me, so that they may be on the right path." (Surah Baqarah 2:186)

إِن يَنصُرْكُمُ اللَّهُ فَلَا غَالِبَ لَكُمْ وَإِن يَخْذُلْكُمْ فَمَن ذَا الَّذِي يَنصُرُكُم مِّن بَعْدِهِ وَعَلَى اللَّهِ فَلْيَتَوَكَّلِ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ

"If Allah helps you, there is none to overcome you. And if He abandons you, then, who is there to help you after that? In Allah the believers should place their trust." (Aal Imran 3:160)

Reflect on these verses and build a relationship with Allah.

Also, Please get in touch with your local Imam or an upright Muslim counsellor and get professional help.

May Allah give you relief from the hardship of this life and the Hereafter and make your matters easy. Ameen.

And Allah knows best .

20 Muharram 1443/ 29 August 2021

Answer last updated on:
4th September 2021
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 04
Location: London