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I don’t know if he is meant for me because I’m sad

Last updated: 16th July 2024
Question ID: #10526
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I find myself in a very specific situation that I know is considered haram, but I am seeking advice nonetheless. I have developed feelings for someone who is considering converting to Islam. We first met a long time ago and immediately connected. However, due to his non-Muslim background, I initially ended our relationship as I believed it wasn't permissible for me to be with a non-Muslim. He assured me he would seriously look into Islam, and after some months, he indicated he was likely to convert. I trust his sincerity in this decision. Recently, though, I've noticed significant personal challenges between us. He doesn't communicate as much as I would like, and lacks clear plans for the future, which are important to me. This contrasts with our early days together. Despite these issues, I am certain of our love for each other. I wonder if praying to Allah and being patient could help him develop these traits, such as asking Allah to make him perfect for me so we can be happy. I also wonder if this happened because we are in a haram relationship and Allah is testing us and waiting for us to do it the right way so that we can be perfect for each other. However, I fear being unhappy in the future or misinterpreting signs that perhaps he isn't the right match for me. I don't want to realize this too late after committing further. My mother is aware that I am trying to get to know him but has not met him and I don’t think he will be ready for that until he converts which wouldn’t happen for a while since he wants to convert genuinely. I don’t want to pressure him or nag him I’m just wondering if i should hold out hope that Allah can make us happy together or if i should move on and look for another person that is more compatible. But I love him and I don’t want to let him go. I have prayed tahajuud and istikhara so many times for months and I still don’t know. Please advise me on what I should do in this situation.



بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

الجواب حامدا ومصليا

Being in an illicit relationship is Haram. You must repent to Allah. If Allah guides him to Islam then you can Marry him otherwise it won’t be allowed.

Allah is Al Razzaq (The provider), He provides sustenance, spouse and children. If you decide to move on surely Allah will provide you with a pious spouse.

Allah will guide you and show you away if you believe in Him and trust in Him.

وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا

وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَالِغُ أَمْرِهِ ۚ قَدْ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدْرًا

....."And whoever fears Allah - He will make for him a way out, And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah - then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent." (Surah Talaq 65:3)


And Allah knows best

18 Muharram 1446/ 25 July 2024

Mufti
Answer last updated on:
27th July 2024
Answered by:
Ulamaa ID 04
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Location: London