Typer
1
I find myself in a very specific situation that I know is considered haram, but I am seeking advice nonetheless. I have developed feelings for someone who is considering converting to Islam.
We first met a long time ago and immediately connected. However, due to his non-Muslim background, I initially ended our relationship as I believed it wasn't permissible for me to be with a non-Muslim. He assured me he would seriously look into Islam, and after some months, he indicated he was likely to convert. I trust his sincerity in this decision.
Recently, though, I've noticed significant personal challenges between us. He doesn't communicate as much as I would like, and lacks clear plans for the future, which are important to me. This contrasts with our early days together.
Despite these issues, I am certain of our love for each other. I wonder if praying to Allah and being patient could help him develop these traits, such as asking Allah to make him perfect for me so we can be happy. I also wonder if this happened because we are in a haram relationship and Allah is testing us and waiting for us to do it the right way so that we can be perfect for each other. However, I fear being unhappy in the future or misinterpreting signs that perhaps he isn't the right match for me. I don't want to realize this too late after committing further.
My mother is aware that I am trying to get to know him but has not met him and I don’t think he will be ready for that until he converts which wouldn’t happen for a while since he wants to convert genuinely. I don’t want to pressure him or nag him I’m just wondering if i should hold out hope that Allah can make us happy together or if i should move on and look for another person that is more compatible. But I love him and I don’t want to let him go.
I have prayed tahajuud and istikhara so many times for months and I still don’t know. Please advise me on what I should do in this situation.