Naseeha - Advice

Naseeha - Advice
5th November 2023

Thoughts

Brother honestly this is a bit of a direct one but I need advice from someone brother since June I’ve been suffering from waswasa it was very bad before but alhamdulliah it’s gone better but it’s still there and honestly
These bad thoughts are very bad man and sometimes I say bad things by accident without any control of my tounge just comes out my out without intention bro and honestly I can’t even enjoy act of worship without having such evil thoughts making my life hard and today I just feel terrible man feeling like
I’ve done kufr shirk so much idk where to turn I’ve been patient since it first started in June waiting for Allah SWT to remove such stuff from me but it’s still here ustadh seriously what do I do I love Islam
I love Allah what do I do?

Naseeha - Advice
10th October 2023

Advice regarding wanting to marry a specific person

Assalamualaikum,

I was talking to a girl and became interested in her. I then decided to stop talking to her since I did not want to indulge in sin and I am not currently ready to ask for her hand eitheir. I then decided to start addressing matters that would affect me not being able to marry and am still working on them. I performed istikhara and made dua for me and her to unite if we are good for each others deen. Recently I found out that she is in talks with someone and they are potentially going to get married, alhamdulillah both her and the guy involved the parents. I understand that this is a sign from Allah that perhaps there is not good in this matter and this is a result of the istikhara and the dua I made. Ofcourse I do not know if she and the guy have gone through with the nikkah, or if there was no progress. So my first question is that am I transgressing by hoping that perhaps we will meet again. Secondly, could it be that there is no good in this matter at this moment and perhaps this matter will be good for me in the future or does it mean that there will never be good in this matter and that I should just move on. I thought about it logically and separated my desires from my thinking while deciding that I would like for me and her to meet again and perhaps we may meet again in the future.

Jazakallah khair
Naseeha - Advice
28th September 2023

Advice regarding a women who I love

I had recently been in a haram relationship. The relationship ended a while back due to certain personal issues and both people agreeing that now is not the right time. We both admitted to still loving each other, and this whole situation has bought me much closer to my deen. Due to the fact that I still love her, and she was an amazing person, I still have the desire to marry her one day. I’ve been making dua endlessly for her and for us and waking up for tahajjud aswell. Although she’s stated that this is also what she desires, I don’t know if that’s what she wants, or if she is making dua just like I am for us. Please guide me on how I should proceed. Currently me and her have stopped all contact.
Naseeha - Advice
24th July 2023

Unable to control illegal sex

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله
Im married for 10 years With kids. Im a practicing muslim in regards to prayers and everything else with beard. My sexual relationship with my wife is not great. Like we engage may be once a month or two months.
For years I also have masturbation problem but in last one year I committed zina thrice. 
Every time I repent and cry to Allah but I get almost possessed by shayatan and commit this gore sin again.
I feel very low of my self. I want to be clean of these sins.
I don't know how to move on and look into the eyes of my wife and kids .. 
please help
Naseeha - Advice
30th May 2023

Father refuses to work

Assalamu alaykum wr wb
I’m stuck in a difficult situation. Im a single mother of two kids since their dad left. On top of that i have to provide for my parents too because my father refuses to work . He hasnt worked in 20 years and relied on me. Now i have kids to support and im forcing my mother to make him work for himself. She enables him to be lazy. I dont know what to do. I cant kick him out of the house but at the same time i cant be responsible for 5 people. I live in an apartment and he doesnt follow the rules and can end up getting me kicked out of there too. I asked him to go fend for himself but he refuses.What should i do?
Naseeha - Advice
22nd May 2023

Need advice on how deal with my difficult sister-in-law

Salam Walaikum. i will try to make this as short as possible. so my brother was forced to get married to my sister-in-law and so he’s always been against this marriage and said i will get remarried but will not make her my wife. in my culture divorce is not an option so both men and women has to try and live with each other. i’m not going to take anyone’s side here and speak from what i’ve seen. both are stubborn and will not listen to each other but my sister-in-law has always been unfair. long story short they got together and she got pregnant but had an argument over a silly thing and she started screaming and swearing so my brother got upset and left but now he’s back home but he’s not speaking to my sister-in-law. both were in the wrong and both have a very high ego so no one’s apologising. they have a 8 months old daughter as well. anyway so now my second brother got engaged and my first sister-in-law once had an argument with my his fiancé. so the other day something happened and my second brother got mad at his fiancé and was telling my mother how he wish he didn’t get engaged to her. so my first sister-in-law heard this and told this story to her sister and her sister told the fiancé. she called me and was upset saying why did my brother said this in front of everyone so when i asked my sister in law about it she got mad and started screaming. at first she said she didn’t say it and later she said even if i did say it his fiancé has no right to get upset. she should look at me i’ve been through a lot and no matter what i do because i’m upset people should not question me because i’m not mentally stable now. when she’s mad she threatens she would leave this house and live alone and bring shame to your family and always talks about divorce. we really don’t care if she wants divorce she can ask her husband and get it but she never speak to her husband and whenever something happens she takes it out on us and get angry at us like we didn’t tell our brother to leave you? why are you mad at us? why are you telling others what’s happening in our family? she hits her 8 months old daughter in front of us and screams and wish death upon my brother in front of my mum.
Naseeha - Advice
19th May 2023

Negative dua of the oppressed

I recently asked this question but was still confused and wanted a more detailed answer. I read a Hadith that the dua of the person who is wronged is always answered. This made me fearful because I remembered when one of my very close family members said rude and mean things to me I made a negative dua against them. I can’t remember if I made that dua in my heart or out loud. But now I really regret it because I love them a lot and never ever want that dua to come true. So I’m asking if there is a way I can reverse it? Or is having a change of heart enough because Allah SWT knows what’s in the hearts and knows I don’t want that dua to come true.
Naseeha - Advice
18th May 2023

Making a negative dua when someone hurt your feelings

Assalamulaykum,
This is something that has deeply disturbed me. There is a Hadith that there is no barrier between the dua of the oppressed and Allah so that means that dua will be accepted. There is also a Hadith that says do not duplicate for yourselves anything but good for the angels say Ameen to whatever you say. In light of these 2 Hadith I have now become very fearful because once a really close family member hurt my feelings by making fun of me and saying mean things. Then I made a negative dua for them. But that was just because I was angry in the moment and now I feel guilty. Because I was oppressed at that time because their words hurt my feelings and because angels say Ameen to whatever one says for themselves and their family, due to this I’m really scared. Please tell me what I should do and if such a dua comes true by default. Such disputes are normal between families so I hope my dua is not regarded as the dua of the oppressed.
Naseeha - Advice
11th May 2023

Sexual Harassment by Step Father

Assalamualaikum to whomever is reading.

My father passed on when I was 3 and my mom re-married my step father. He sexually assaulted me between the ages of 3-13 (2010) years old. I’m very ashamed to explain what he did but there was no penetration, only oral, skin to skin contact and touching. Regardless, it really hurts and scars me.

I never really understood why but as a child I told myself that I had to hide this from other family members which caused me to not reach out for help.

I never really felt angry about it until a few years ago, which is when I was fully aware of how wrong it was. I felt a lot of injustice against me. My step father became very close to my uncle (on my real dad’s side) and has made him to believe that I am a bad person.

Also, I feel very upset and angry that he is able to live his life normally while I am still suffering from his actions.

He is seen as very religious and kind to the people around us so any attempt of me trying to tell a close family member about my trauma was met with disbelief and no action, which I don’t blame because there is no manual on how to respond to a sexual assault claim.

Also because the assault is in the past and not the present, it seems like there’s very little that I can do about it.

My hope is to strengthen my relationship with Allah and to heal my heart. I was wondering if I have the right to expose him to get some justice for myself. However, I fear how it may affect my family.

I have tried to forgive and forget for the sake of Allah but I’m too weak to do that. But if this is what I should do, I would like some advice on how I can forgive and forget for the sake of Allah.

If you could also recommend some duas to heal my heart and give me the strength to forgive, I would greatly appreciate it.
Naseeha - Advice
7th May 2023

I dreamed about spiders chasing me

Asc please I have dreamed a lot of spiders chasing me and trying to harm me, I’m pregnant 8 months now please tell me in Islam the interpretation of it And I’m feeling low these days and not have any relationship with my husband and my family please advise me JazakaAllah qeyr
Naseeha - Advice
9th April 2023

I need some words of naseeha

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatuh

I am muslim born in a western country, son of Arab Muslim Immigrants, and praise be to Allah my parents taught me our religion and also with your website's Articles and Books, I learned a lot of Islam and became a better muslim, and each day I learn more from you, and I try to follow and obey Allah and His Messenger on the best of my abilities. I love Allah and His Messenger, I love Islam, I love our Ummah.

I am not writing this letter for the sake of you issuing me a fatwa, no, I just need to hear some words of counseling (naseeha) for the sake of reassuring my heart.

I will try to summarize this message and be as concise as I can, because I know you receive thousands of messages to answer. I am not hasty for an answer, so, take your time.

I have a good life, praise be to Allah, a wonderful wife, a beautiful daughter, a nice family, Allah blessed me, I work from home (in the technology field), I am also engaged on many dawah activities on the internet, but sometimes I suffer some financial problems, like anyone on this world. I am reaching my 40's now. But I have a problem which disturbs me since my teenage years, the whispers of the shaytan (al waswaas al qahri).

This is a real problem, a real mental sickness, it is not something nonsense. Western Psychologists recognize this mental disorder:

"...A losing battle between the rational self (as represented by an individual’s futile attempts at using reason to combat the disorder) and the brain’s capacity to create unreasonable automatic thoughts accompanied by uncontrolled emotional upheaval..."

But, since they are kuffar, they failed to recognize the reason, but we, as muslims, know that the reason is Shaytan (may Allah curse him).

I diagnosed myself (by searching and reading many books about psychology) with Purely Obsessional Compulsive Disorder, which is a variation of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but it does not have the repetitive physical actions, just the thoughts.

I have read ALL articles and answers on your site about this problem, and I even read all books you recommend for one who suffers from this problem, like Talbis Iblees by Ibn Jawzi, and other Islamic Books from Shaykh Ibn Qayim, Ibn Taymiyah, and many others Scholars of our blessed Ummah. Indeed, reading these books across many years (I began reading these islamic books in 2010, reading some hours by day), I learned a lot about how to deal with whispers of the shaytan (mainly by ignoring them and making duas and dhikr, seeking refuge in Allah and so on), to such an extent that today I have much more control over these thoughts than some years ago.

And reading these books did not only help me to deal with this problem, but helped me to get closer to Allah, to increase my faith. I began to do a lot of acts of worship which I never have done before, like fasting on mondays and thursdays, praying Quyiam Lail, praying Salat Duha, reciting the Holy Quran, listening to the Holy Quran in a daily basis, giving charity, and many other acts of worship (I got closer to Allah).

But dealing with this problem alone (no one knows I have this problem, and I do not want anyone to know about it, because I feel ashamed of having this sickness) sometimes becomes very exhausting, so I need to unburden this to someone whom I trust that will not discriminate me, neither think bad of me, rather, will give me a friendly hand and listen to me.

Even though I can say that now I have this problem under control, praise be to Allah, but sometimes, in some situations, I kinda "lose this control" of my thoughts and alongside these obsessions (repeated thoughts), I feel too much distress and anxiety.

These evil thoughts which cross my mind sometimes they are about all kinds of evil actions you can imagine, just like said Allah in the Holy Quran:

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ كُلُوا مِمَّا فِي الأَرْضِ حَلالاً طَيِّباً وَلاَ تَتَّبِعُوا خُطُوَاتِ الشَّيْطَانِ إِنَّهُ لَكُمْ عَدُوٌّ مُّبِينٌ (168)
 
إِنَّمَا يَأْمُرُكُم بِالسُّوءِ وَالْفَحْشَاءِ وَأَن تَقُولُوا عَلَى اللَّهِ مَا لاَ تَعْلَمُونَ
 
These thoughts disturb me a lot, make me feel upset and distressed simply because they do not represent my will. I will never commit these actions which shaytan incited me to do. I know that, as Prophet Muhammad, sali Allah walaihi wasalem, said, Allah forgives any kind of thought that crosses a person's mind so long as these thoughts are not followed by action, intention or speech. And, praise be to Allah I always rejected these thoughts and never acted upon them, however, even then, the distress and anxiety I feel due these thoughts sometimes is paralyzing.

I will try to describe some of these thoughts and situations which happen to me. I truly feel ashamed that a man of 40 years old like me has these kinds of thoughts, but, Allah knows, this is beyond my control, and this sickness has afflicted me since I was a teenager. I think that the environment which I lived all my life, this western country (non islamic society), is one of the reasons because here we are bombarded constantly with images of kufor, naked women, and other kind of immoralities and evil situations (which are contrary to Islamic Teachings).

Sometimes I am playing with my daughter and then, suddenly, shaytan comes to me with thoughts of pedophilia, mental images on which I am commiting immoral actions against my little daughter. I immediately seek refuge in Allah and try to ignore these thoughts, but I feel distressed, upset and nervous. Sometimes I feel dread and fear, I feel like I am going to lose control of myself and will end up committing these actions. As a result, I discreetly tell my daughter that I am tired and at another time we can play again. I stop playing with her until these feelings and thoughts go away. But I try my best to not expose myself, because I have a great fear that my family may think I am an evil person, a pervert (Allah forbid) because of these thoughts.

Always in my duas during all these years battling against Shaytan, I ask Allah to cure me from this sickness, forgive me for these evil thoughts that cross my mind, also to preserve and conceal me, so no one will ever know about this problem. I think that Allah is answering me, because until now no one knows about this.

Another situation is whenever I am alone in the kitchen, at night. Since I work remotely on my computer, I stay awake overnight working, whenever all my family is sleeping. Sometimes when I go to the kitchen to drink a coup of water, for example, shaytan comes to me with thoughts of suicide, mental images on which I am getting a knife and killing myself. Now that I am writing this letter, these thoughts may seem very childish and stupid, but whenever the situation happens, as I said, I feel dread and fear, panic, anxiety, because these thoughts seem to be very real, in the moment they are coming to me. Again, I seek refuge in Allah, make dhikrs, istighfar, duaas. Sometimes I even pray 2 rakats of voluntary prayer just to calm myself down, to talk with Allah, seek His help and forgiveness, ask Him to cure me, and so on. This always works, praise be to Allah.

Another situation is whenever I am having intercourse with my wife. I know about the etiquette of intercourse, of saying bismillah, saying the dua'a "allahumma jannibna shaitan wa jaanib al shaytan ma razaqtana" and so on. But even then, sometimes in intercourse, shaytan comes to me with evil thoughts, mainly sexual thoughts (in psychology they call this as sexual obsessions), like whenever having sex with my wife the image of another random woman comes to my mind (not a specific person). I ignore this and continue the intercourse with my wife. But I feel that feeling of regret, distress and anxiety. So after the intercourse I make ghusl, pray to Allah asking him to forgive me for this and then I continue on with my life.

One more situation is whenever praying, many times whenever I pray any salah, shaytan comes to me with thoughts of kufor, atheism, disbelief, but, as you may know, these thoughts are mere illusions of Shaytan, because I do believe in Tawheed, I have the firm establishment of Islamic Monotheism in my heart, I have read many Islamic Books, I have studied the Sunnah, the Sira of our Prophet. I do not have any drop of doubts regarding the Religion of Islam, I testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Another situation which triggers these thoughts of kufor is whenever I accidentally see or hear some atheist comments anywhere. These thoughts of kufor have no logic, but, even then, they distress me.

Just the last situation I will relate, since there is no need to relate all these situations, this is very embarrassing for me, but I think that you can at least understand my problem and give me counseling.

Sometimes when I am talking with friends of mine, in person, thoughts of immoral actions (homossexuality) come to my mind. I can say that this situation is the worst and most distressing for me. I feel almost like a panic attack, my heart beat increases, I feel nervousness, and tension through all my body, I feel the fear of losing control of the situation, fear and dread that this action, homossexuality (fear of becoming homossexual), may happen, even though these are just illusions from shaytan. But praise be to Allah, I am able to not let anyone perceive this, because immediately I make up an excuse and get away from my friends (tell them I need to do some work, and the like).

I never had sexual attraction to other men (Allah forbid), rather, I used to engage with girls in my teenage, something which I sincerely repent to Allah. But praise be to Allah I never committed zina, my wife is my first and only sexual relationship I had in my life.

I constantly ask forgiveness to Allah for these kinds of thoughts, but Allah knows, these thoughts, sometimes, go beyond my control.

Again, this country where I live is full of evil. The people here in general are not against Islam, rather, they respect our culture, our religion, my wife is respected, she wears hijab and never was harassed by anyone. But, even though the people here are friendly, this does not erase their horrible moral values. Like here there is too much perversion, zinnah, homossexuality, violence, robbery, drinking of alcohol, and so on. However, my work of dawah on the internet even helped many of these people to enter Islam, and I am happy with this, to help these people to get out from the darkness of kufor to the light of Islam! I just commented about the environment because I think that this can also be another "source" of these thoughts, since, specially in the mainstream media here, we are bombarded by these images of immorality and evil things.

Sometimes I blame myself like "How can I, a practicising muslim, a person who works with dawah, to experience thougths of kufor and atheism?", "How can I, a married muslim man experience thoughts of zinnah, pedophilia and homossexuality?", and so on.

Summing it up, I am not a kaafir, neither a pedophile, neither homossexual, neither a crazy person, I am nothing of what these whispers of shaytan insinuate about me, but, even knowing that these thoughts make no-sense, still, they disturb me a lot, some times.

So I just would like to hear some words of counselling, since I have this problem over control, and for what I have been searching, waswas al-qahri is a chronic disease, and as a chronic disease, this does not have a cure, except by the will and decree of Allah, the all-Mighty. But the best way for me to control this situation is by keeping my mind focused, especially on my job and on my dawah activities. This works, praise be to Allah.

Inside my heart I feel that I am on the right path, praise be to Allah. Even recently, one of my dawa projects got a worldwide recognition and coverage by some of the most important news channel on the whole Arabic and Islamic World (and even many newspaper in America and Europe), and this is an answer to my dua'as, because I made a lot of duas for Allah to make this project successful and it reached the success I wanted and asked to Allah (even more than I ever imagined).

Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmat Allah wa barakatu.

Your brother in Islam.
Naseeha - Advice
10th February 2023

Having constant abusive thoughts about Allah

Assalam u alikum,

I am facing a problem from several days. I get bad thoughts (actually abuses) about ALLAH in my mind and I feel very depressed after having such thoughts. I also cry and repent, say Shahadah, and scorn myself, and pray to ALLAH. These thoughts keep constantly coming to my mind whenever I pray salah and also in other times.

Earlier these thoughts used to come only in salah, but now they come all the time. I am also not sure whether I say these bad words in mind or did I utter it slowly because I have a habit of saying things to myself. I don't know how to deal with these thoughts. Would I be accountable for these thoughts? The thoughts are very bad, that is, they are clear abuses. That's why I am sending you this problem so that I can get help regarding this.

Please provide me a detailed answer whether I am accountable for these thoughts or not and if I am accountable then how should I repent for it. I hope you will answer me soon because my anxiety is increasing day by day.
Naseeha - Advice
23rd October 2022

Frustrated

Assalamu alaikum Mufti,

I am a 31 F Muslimah diabetic. I have never married, I have a job, and living with parents for past 4 years.

Fourteen years ago, I made a decision (taking a Riba Student Loan) that effectively “I believe” ruined my life.

For past 10 years, I have been living with social and emotional pain for ten years now via interacting with different people (female roommates or female family members).

First 7 years —> 3 out of 5 roommates socially and emotionally damaged me (via gossip, spreading false rumours to large groups of people, repeatedly passively insulting me)

My mother has been constantly berating me for last two years

My four sisters consistently berate me for past four years.

Last Straw Incident —> I went on overseas trip with Aunt and least troublesome sister. On the trip, I got humiliated badly by sister&her new husband and my aunt put me in a malicious embarrassing situation.

I am now fed up with life and all I do for last two weeks is consistently pray for a quick death: Saying “Ya Al Khabir Ya Al-Muqaddim please expedite me out of this dunya the minute I become eligible to enter Jannah with no pain”).

I went into an crying outburst yesterday and told my sick dad all my life stress. He is hesitant to let me move out on my own after this weekend. But I have no other solution but to isolate myself from female family members.

For my own self confidence, I have now stopped talking to my mom and sisters.

What do you think of my 14 year situation is it a trial or punishment? If punishment, is there anyway I can repent properly, as my self confidence has plummeted and I need the pain to stop.

Salaamu alaikum.
Naseeha - Advice
13th October 2022

I need help

Aslam-o-Alaikum,

I hope you are doing well. I am a 24 years male who has lost a lot of hair since the loss of my mother when I was a teenager. I have recently gotten a hair transplant done but even then my head looks empty. My hair loss has since young age caused me a lot of pain and suffering. I do not know what to do. It is stopping me from doing so many things and has completely broken my confidence. I know some people say it is trivial but I cannot express in words how much distress it has caused me over the past 10 years. I have faith in Allah and His plans and I believe in His mercy that my hair can be better because His mercy is infinite. My faith does not let me accept this as it is as to me that would mean giving up.

Please I ask for your help. What can I do or read that can help me regrow my hair and move on from this source of sadness?

I am sorry if this seems like a small problem but it has caused me a lot of distress and worry. A lot of people have disregarded me in this matter so it was very difficult for me to write this. Please help.
Naseeha - Advice
10th June 2022

Found a paper under bed

Assalamu alaikum,

A friend of mine recently found a paper wrapped in cellotape underneath her bed. The paper had red writing all over it, I have a picture but do not know how to attach it to this question. On the paper there is a grid with numbers within each square. There is also some Arabic around the grid.
Is this a bad taweez? Why would it be placed underneath her bed without her knowledge?
She wants to find out the meaning of this taweez? Also who placed it underneath her bed as she lives with her in laws?
How can she get rid of this in the beat safest way? How can she protect herself?
Thank you
Naseeha - Advice
17th September 2021

Joining Islam as a Christian

I am a Christian, but I recently started researching Islam and I am intrigued and in love with the teachings of Muhammad. I was wondering, if I were to join Islam, what it’s teachings are on Christianity and whether or not I could continue to have faith in Jesus Christ while following Islam?
Naseeha - Advice
12th September 2021

I am losing faith in Allah. It feels as if Allah does not care for me or have anything good in store

Assalamu Alaikum,

I have been dealing with many mental strifes, which is why I have decided to seek advice through the lens of Islam.

I believe in Allah, and I have complete faith in Him. I got no friends, so I consider Him my best and most loyal friend I could ever have. Yet, lately, I have been struggling with keeping my faith in Allah strong. Let me tell you why. Since my childhood, it was my dream to make an outstanding result and get into an Ivy League university; but unfortunately, that did not happen. My grades never met my expectations, and currently, I am studying a subject of my choice, but not at an Ivy League University. I remained pleased with it, thinking it was Allah's decision, and I adhered to the belief that Allah does what is best for us.

However, lately, whenever I see someone or a batchmate studying at an Ivy League University, it reminds me of my childhood dream, and I feel extremely inferior to them. It makes me question Allah's love for me. Does Allah love them more? Does Allah not care about my dreams? Then I begin to see my unfulfilling dream as a punishment from Allah. I feel that Allah probably dislikes me and does not really care about me. It makes me feel very insecure.

A few more things are triggering my insecurities. I used to do very well in class. But my grades started to decline during the senior years of my school when I was preparing for board examinations. (I just could not cope with the education system, and those years were the most struggling times of my life so far.) Unfortunately, as I said earlier in my message, I could not achieve the grades of my dreams, which has completely shattered my confidence. And these days, it is causing me to lose trust in Allah because I feel Allah was not with me back then, and I fear He will probably not be with me in the future as well. He does not care about me or my dreams. Had He cared, I could have fulfilled at least one of my dreams and made my family proud.

Sometimes, I find myself questioning, does Allah have any plans for me at all? I feel like a cursed child who could never make her parents proud and may never be able to achieve anything to make them proud at least once. I feel less eligible, thinking no highly qualified man would want to marry me as I am not an Ivy League graduate and not as successful as them. All in all, I am losing faith in Allah, thinking he has nothing good in store for me. Please kindly advise how I can restore peace of mind and trust in Allah. My insecurities, fear, and inferiority complex are destroying me.
Naseeha - Advice
4th September 2021

Mental sickness

I am from domestic violence family. My parents have abusive relationship. Generally Muslim misinterpret quran surah an nissa. They bit their wife. In law bit their wife' . People teach what is rights of husband but don't teach what is farz of husband. There are different type of dowry in different cultures. You have to give truck full of iftari. You have to give expensive marriage party other wise women torture. Men don't give mehr but they want food from their wife. If girls parents give iftari, boys mother monetize it how much prize iftari it is. If a women divorce her husband for domestic violence society slender women. They say my husband also bit me but talaq gunaah. U r women and u have to bear it. I am unmarried and due to my parents domestic violence I am having mental illness. Now parents don't respect mentel patient. When I was in class 12 I fought with my parents to consult psychiatrist. I was having suicidal thought. After medicine I was fine. I didn't have suicidal thought but I stopped medicine. Society think it stigma to consult psychiatrist. When I told my mother to consult psychiatrist, I am having suicidal thought she burned my hand by saying let's have taste of jahannam. Well I wanted to consult to psychiatrist because suicide is haram.when my parents burned me I told I will bit you .i am having ocd. I can't sit in one place I self talk. My parents tell one who will marry me will bit my parents with shoe because I am pagal. I never thought about society. I am ambitious. I wanted to study. I had hope that one day I will get cure and get married. But now I am not able to study in depression. My cousin sister had baby and my father scolded me. Whenever I attend marriage party people comment on my looks. I am not beautiful. No one will marry me. Now my life became hard. I was namaji but now I stopped it. I stopped it not because I don't have faith but because due to depression I became unproductive. I know marriage is not something possible even if I get cure. People will comment and call me mental. I was in one sided love with person who made me namaji hijabi Ramzan fast but how he can marry mental I'll patients. He rejected. I have not seen him from 5 years and have no contact. I told my parents because of domestic violence I am I'll. They said why my brother is not I'll. Now I am not able to study eat due to loneliness. I have nothing except study. But due to loneliness I am not able to study. I got scolding from teacher for not doing assignment properly. Now I am 21 years. I know marriage is not something possible. I should focus on my study but I mean not able to study due to loneliness. Now my question is how I'll person should live alone. People will scold mental I'll patients. They treat us burden. I know I am not capable of marriage. I am I'll. But I am not able to live alone. I pretend in front of parents that I don't want to marry. If I will cry then they will say me it's your fault. Even if I don't cry then they will scold for not getting married. If I show them my emotion then my conditions will become worse. Well now I want to study but how to study
Naseeha - Advice
2nd July 2021

Contraception

Assalamu alaikum,

With lots of hope I have come to your page please ask Babar bahi to answer my this question. I have been involved in a physics relationship before marriage for that purpose I used to take contraception pills. I have repented from this sin but suddenly I have realized I took that pills to avoid pregnancy which is equal to taking a life. I have consulted with a lot of scholars but they said taking life is when you aborted a soul after 4 months of pregnancy. But nothing is comforting my heart I feel like only way to calm my heart is to go to jail. Please help I can't eat drink sit & sleep. Please help what should I do please help.
Naseeha - Advice
25th June 2021

Haram Relationship

I'm involved in Haram Relationship, I asked for forgiveness and she isn't forgiving me. I don't know if I'm guilty or not, I just want to end this relationship and ask Allah for repentance and forgiveness. I don't want to continue this.
I have guilt that if she won't forgive me so I won't be forgiven on the day of Judgement. Is this true? Please enlighten me with your wisdom on this topic. I'm very ashamed of myself and I just want to keep myself away from all haram deeds.