Just a humble reminder for sisters (and I'm saying this after observing the situation)- please make your intention crystal clear. While in Jamaat, please don't search bride for your son/brother/uncle. My investigation revealed that plenty of unmarried brothers took their mom in mastoorat Jamaat and ended up marrying someone related to that Jamaat.
I personally don't see anything wrong with this. Am I missing something?
Dear sister i agree with the brother, you can find a bride somewhere else. Also you dont go jaamat to choose a bride for your son, brother and uncle. You go there to find peace, feel the imaan. Am i wrong dear sister??
Aapa, I know from which point of view you are judging the whole matter. It's Halaal and there's nothing wrong according to Shari'ah. But, I'm quoting sister Aisha's reply in another thread which is similar to my opinion:
AishaZaynap wrote:
Brother plz dont understand me wrong,you can find it somewhere else. Jamaat is not a bride finding place. Its a place to feel the imaan.The intention can be good but again this takes the all point of jamaat
I find it alarming sometimes and saddening at the same time too that many spent months, years maybe even decades trying to sort their own intentions out and others gave them time to do so. But when we preach to others we expect them to change/transform instantly.
In reality it don't work like that, just like they say in english 'Rome weren't built in a day', same way no one goes to sleep and when wakes up with a one fist beard or starts wearing hijab and has all Salah, Tahajud, Ishraq in place.
Takes time, so be ready to give time otherwise you'll put people off and usually it results in more harm than good.
From what I understand: it is a sacrifice and not everyone is ready, willing, able, or eager to do it. It is a sacrifice for women who stay behind just as much as it is for the men who go forth. It is not easy for some to accept their spouse going forth in such efforts and so it makes sense to find a spouse who is already involved in the effort - insha'Allah both sacrifice, both understand, and both are eager and willing.
I really doubt any mother or sister or aunt or grandmother would sacrifice their time and set forth in such an effort with the sole intention of finding a spouse for their son, brother, uncle, father, etc. I could be wrong... I can't see myself doing this. It isn't easy to do. Insha'Allah it is best not to judge the intentions of those whose mothers etc. have found them spouses in jamaat (whether intentionally or incidentally) or those who may intend to one day find a spouse who goes in jamaat.
Don't brothers do this for their daughters, sisters, etc. in any gathering, not just jamaat?
This cannot be undone and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.
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