Abu Ainah relates that Madni was standing directly behind the Imam. The Imam for one reason or another broke his Salah and put Madni forward to lead the prayer. He remianed standing there for a long time. The people exclaimed from behind "Subhan-Allah" (The word used to signal to the Imam when he makes a mistake). Even then he did not move. Thus, someone went forward, moved Madni and replaced him with a more appropriate Imam. After the prayer, the people began to curse him and reproach Madni. Explaining himself, he said "I thought he told me to look after his place until he gets back".
Muhammed bin Khalaf relates that a man passed by an Imam who was reading Alif Allam Meem (translated: the Turks have been defeated). When he completed the prayer, I approached the Imam and told him "Oh Imam! The words are Alif Laam Meem (translated: the Romans have been defeated) (Surah Room verse 1). He replied "They are all enemies and I am not botheredwho I make mention of".
Taken from the book:
"Akhbarul Hamqa Wal Mogafaleen" written by ibn al Jawzi Hafiz Jamal ud-Din Abdul Rahman. 510AH
Juha was told by his mother to guard the door, he took it off its hinges and walked away with it, whereupon the house was ransacked. When his mother blamed him he said:
'you only told me to watch the door, not the house!
A Persian-Tajik thirteenth-century poet Ibn Yamin (Ibn Yamin Faryumadi)(ابن یمین فریومدی), born 1286 in Faryumad near Sabzevar and died 1368, says there are four types of men
آنکس که بداند و بداند که بداند
اسب خرد از گنبد گردون بجهاند
آنکس که بداند و نداند که بداند
بیدار کنیدش که بسی خفته نماند
آنکس که نداند و بداند که نداند
لنگان خرک خویش به منزل برساند
آنکس که نداند و نداند که نداند
در جهل مرکب ابدالدهر بماند
One who knows and knows that he knows... His horse of wisdom will reach the skies.
One who knows, but doesn't know that he knows... He is fast asleep, so you should wake him up!
One who doesn't know, but knows that he doesn't know... His limping mule will eventually get him home.
One who doesn't know and doesn't know that he doesn't know... He will be eternally lost in his hopeless oblivion!
Abu Anbas relates that a long bearded fool was a neighbour of mine. He lived in the local Masjid and looked after it. He also gave the Adhan and led the prayer. He had memorized the big surahs and would recite them in the Salah. His habit of long Surah recitation was unwelcome by the locals and met with great hostility. One day having recited a long Surah during the prayer, the people, fed up, told him to leave, suggesting that he doesn't show any consideration for the weak behind him. He promised that he would not recite a long surah again and asked for the forgiveness of the people. The next day, after reciting Surah Fatiha he remained silent for a period of time, and then shouted "What do you say about Sura Abass". Nobody answered except a long bearded old man man who was less intelligent than him. He answered, "This seems ok, read it."
An Imam after finishing reciting Surah Fatiha Began reciting Surah Yusuf. The people broke their prayer and began to return to their homes. When the Imam realised the people are leaving, he asserted Subhaan-Allah, and then at the top of his voice read "Qul hu walla hu a had", the people then returned and rejoined the prayer.
An Imam recited Surah Takweer in Fajr Salaah. When he reached the verse which translates, Where are you going? He surprisingly forgot the verses that follow on from this and therefore endlessly repeated the same words until the sunrise was imminent. Behind him was a frustrated man with leather socks in his hands. This man clobbered the Imam with the socks and said, "I am going and I don't know where tey are going".
Asmaee relates, some people from the Quraish went to see plots of their land. Amongst the Quraish, there was also the presence of a man from the Banu Gheefa. The weather suddenly changed and there was a severe sand storm to the extent that they all feared for their lives. Allah, through his mercy saved them. Through the sheer relief of survival and as a mark of appreciation, each one of them freed a slave. The accompanying Bedouin had no slave. So in order to make a similar gratefulness gesture, he said "Oh Allah! To please you I am freeing my wife by giving her three talaaq".
A bedouin was once attacked and wounded by a fox. In order to nurse his wounds he came to a person who does "Daam" (a special healing process). The healer asked, which animal bit you? He was ashamed to explain that it was a cowardly fox, so he replied "It was a dog". When the man began to prepare the daam, the bedouin interrupted and suggested to the healer to include a mixture in the damm that would also cure fox bite.
Ala bin Salih explains that Abdul A'lah bin Umar was a storyteller. He related a story, as was his habit. Just as his gathering was about to end, people accused him of not knowing the Quran. "Alhumdulillah, I know the Quran well." He answered the critics. To prove this he recited Bismillah and then proceeded with Surah Ikhlaas. After reciting the first verse of Surah Ikhlas, he halted and said "Whoever wishes to hear the next portion should come to my next gathering."
Abu Umar Zaid relates a Bedouin prayed "Oh Allah!, give me a death like my father." He was asked as to how his father died. He replied "He ate fruit, drank wine, laid under the sun and passed away." He died with a stomach full, fresh and in the luxury of the beautiful hot weather.
Yazid bin Thar Waan was a fool of his time. he feared that he may lose himself and would therefore wear a necklace made of bones around his neck so he could recognise himself. One night some how, this necklace of his ended up around the neck of his brother. When he noticed the necklace around his brothers neck, he said, "If you are me, then who am I?"
A scholar was once asked the name of Iblees' wife. The scholar being humble and polite, answered, "I was not invited to the wedding, therefore I dont know her name".
This cannot be undone and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.
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