Asslamo Allaikum,
Some real-life funny stories.
1) A Professor of Surgery (ata prestigious US university) was discussing his Shaykh and praising him in aconversation with me and then he said, "You know when your Aunty (his wife) gotmarried I took her to him and he Spat in her mouth for Barkat" and then Sheconfirmed, "Jee Jee, Mujhe Yaad Hay (Yes, Yes I remember that)!"
I was a young university student & didn'tknow what to say!
2) A friend of mine who is ahardcore Deobandi was invited by another Brother to his house for food, &he wanted my friend to repent from his Aqeedah and give Bayt to his Shaykh andhe kept saying "My Shaykh knows everything"
My friend asked, "Does your Shaykh knowwhere Mehdi is?" to which the host replied...I don't know then my friend asked, "Doesyour Shaykh know when Qiyamat will come?"
At this point the host got irritated andaccused my friend of disrespecting his Shaykh and in the middle of eatingkicked him out of the house
3) My uncle was visiting aShaykh and as a courtesy he asked, "Shaykh! Give me something to read whichwill remind me of Allah (SWT). "
Shaykh replied, "Read Ya-Basit as manytimes as possible" to which my uncle asked for the Shaykh to write it down...Promptlythe Shaykh wrote it on a paper and handed it over to my uncle...My uncle lookedat it and gave it back to the Shayk saying, "I think that you will find thatBasit is written with a "Tta (Taoy in Urdu) and not Taa (Tay in Urdu).
4) A friend of mine gotmarried in Pakistan and in the Girls' neighbourhood there was a Grave with someShaykh looking after it; on the 3rd day his new in-laws summoned himwith a worrying look and said that there was something important they wanted totalk about it...Puzzled he went in and his in-laws said that the Shaykh has senta message, "Your son-in-law has gone past the grave so many times but notstopped to say Salam and Peer Saheb (dead person in the Grave) has decided topunish him but we have asked him to spare him if he can come & apologise!"
My friend is hot-tempered and he refused to go there it sohappened that he was laid off from his job, now the whole family knew that PeerSaheb (dead person in the Grave) had punished him and the Shaykh warned, "Thisis nothing, Peer Saheb wants to burn him but I may still be able to interveneand save him ONLY if he is willing to come & apologise"
My friend went to the grave and told everyone, "Tell him toBurn me & do whatever he wants to do, I don't care"
He got a even better job and all's well.
5) Me & the Mrs weredriving around and got caught in Traffic in London so started to look for aplace to pray Maghrib and open our fast.
Found a Masjid where someone was inMuraqaba (meditation); she felt weird & refused to go to the Women'ssection and we stayed talking in the Parking Lot.
Maghrib started and the person continued inMuraqaba (meditation)...I waited a few minutes and then called the Adhan and theperson continued in Muraqaba (meditation)
I waited a few minutes but no one came andthe person continued in Muraqaba (meditation)
Wife (totally freaked out now) refused togo into Women's section so she prayed behind me in the Men's section and theperson continued in Muraqaba (meditation)
We did our Sunnah and the person continuedin Muraqaba (meditation)
We left got to the car and she got thirsty sowe went back in, both drank water and the person continued in Muraqaba (meditation)...
