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abuzayd2k
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#16 [Permalink] Posted on 29th September 2020 17:37
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#17 [Permalink] Posted on 29th September 2020 17:39

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#18 [Permalink] Posted on 30th September 2020 10:35
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#19 [Permalink] Posted on 5th October 2020 13:56
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#20 [Permalink] Posted on 7th October 2020 16:10
Comedy Gold

Church of Covid

Throwaway74957 wrote:
I have sinned. I ate at a restaurant, went for a walk without a mask, and might have killed a few grandmas. What must I do to obtain the forgiveness of Saint Fauci (Peace be upon him)?


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For every bite of unholy communion you partook of, flagellate with a cat of nine masks 5 times. For every step you took on your walk, wear another layer of masks. For every grandmother you believe you may have killed, wear the layers of masks for an hour.

Above all else, praise Saint Fauci (peace be upon him) and pray that he will forgive you. Confess your sins in a glorious, righteous, socially distanced, plexiglass booth to the Arch Cardinal designated to your parish. Only then may you return to the path of salvation.


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There is no forgiveness in the ChurchofCOVID. You may now only find redemption by locking yourself in a small apartment until you commit suicide


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As atonement, you may participate in one Zoom Thanksgiving dinner. After you have successfully numbed your desire for any social interaction, you may bake one loaf of sourdough bread, after which you must immediately bathe in hand sanitizer, and then you must fasten yourself to the couch for 12 hours of Netflix binging.
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#21 [Permalink] Posted on 13th October 2020 22:15
*not adding image with clear eyes*

Daughter: "Mummy, what's an immune system?"

Mummy while putting a cloth mask on daughter, "Oh that's just conspiracy, darling. We don't use those anymore."
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#22 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd October 2020 20:40
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