European Commission has just annouced an agreement whereby english will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As Part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in-plan that would become known as "Euro-English"
In the first year "s" will be replac the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servans jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be droppped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and the keyboards kan have one less letter
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter....
In the 3rd year, publik akseptnase of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible....
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v"
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor turbl or difikultis and evirvun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru
Und efter fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas!
