Controlling The Tongue
BY IMAM ZAID SHAKIR
September 03, 2009 at 6:22 am
Note: The following characteristic is especially relevant in Ramadan, as one of the objectives of the fast is to control the tongue. Ibrahim al-Nakha’i, on of the teachers of Imam Abu Hanifa, may Allah have mercy on them both, mentioned: “The people ruined before you were done in by three characteristics: too much talking, too much eating, and too much sleeping.†Al-Hamdulillah, the Fast of Ramadan, when properly engaged in,, cuts down on all three of these ruinations.
A. Silence (الصمت) is to refrain from speaking falsely; not truthfully.
Al-Kafawi, al-Kulliyyat
Silence (الصمت) differs from not speaking (السكوت) in three ways:
1. Not speaking is to leave off speech despite being capable of it. Capability is not a consideration in defining silence.
2. Silence (الصمت) also involves a relative period of time. If someone were to close his lips for a brief moment he would be described as not speaking (ساكىت). He would only be described as silent (صامت) if the period of his being closed-mouthed endured for an extended period of time.
3. Not speaking (السكوت) involves a failure to speak, whether one refrains from uttering truth or falsehood; whereas silence (الصمت) involves refraining from speaking falsehood.
Protecting the Tongue (ØÙظ اللسان) is protecting the tongue from lying, slander, tale-carrying, false speech and other things that have been forbidden in the Divine Law.
A.1. Imam al-Marwardi mentions four conditions for protecting the tongue from slipping into sin:
1. There has to be an issue that calls for the speech; either to secure a benefit or to repulse harm.
2. To speak in a manner appropriate for the subject and to speak at the proper time.
3. To limit the speech to exactly what is needed.
4. To carefully choose ones words.
A.2. Some Etiquettes Related to the Tongue
1. Not to engage in exaggerated praise.
2. Not to allow fear or hope to push one to make promises or threats one will not be able to fulfill.
3. That ones actions are consistent with ones speech.
4. That ones tone is consistent with the topic one is addressing.
5. That one does not raise ones voice to a repulsive level.
6. That one avoids direct mention of indecent subjects. Rather, one should use allegorical speech when discussing such matters.
7. One should avoid the slang of lowlife, riffraff elements. Rather the jargon of scholars and literary figures should be employed when appropriate.
A.3. Texts From the Hadith Concerning Silence and Holding Ones Tongue
The Prophet, peace upon him, said, “From a person’s Islam being good is his leaving what does not concern him.†*Note: This includes leaving speech that does not concern him.
Tirmidhi, #2318
The Prophet, peace upon him, mentioned, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day let him speak well or remain silent.â€
Bukhari, #6018
The Prophet, peace upon him, was asked, “Which Muslim is best?†He responded, “One who the other Muslims are safe; from his tongue and his hand.â€
Tirmidhi, #2504
Ibn Mas’ud mentioned that he asked the Prophet, peace upon him, “Which action is best?†He replied, “Prayer performed on time.†He asked, “Then which, O Messenger of Allah?†He said, “That people are safe from your tongue.â€
Mundhari, al-Targhib, 3:523
The Prophet, peace upon him, said, “All of the speech of the Child of Adam will be held against him, it will not be in his favor; except commanding good, forbidding wrong, or the remembrance of Allah.â€
Tirmidhi, #2412
The Prophet, peace upon him, mentioned, “Do not speak excessively in other than the remembrance of Allah, for verily excessive speech in other than the remembrance of Allah hardens the heart, and the heart most distanced from Allah is the hard heart.â€
Tirmidhi, #2411
Especially helpful in this month of fasting. If we can somehow protect ourselves from unnecessary speech (and writing) in Ramadan, and then it should be easier to do this for the rest of the year.
Ramadan, : Restraining the Tongue
BY SOHAIB N. SULTAN
JULY 22, 2014
The holy month of Ramadan is a time of deep reflection for Muslims worldwide. Over the 30 days of Ramadan, Imam Sohaib Sultan of Princeton University will offer contemplative pieces on contemporary issues drawing from the wisdoms of the Qur’an – the sacred scripture that Muslims revere as the words of God and God’s final revelation to humanity. The Qur’an is at the heart of Muslim faith, ethics, and civilization. These short pieces are meant to inspire thought and conversation.
A wise Arab proverb says, “Every war begins with words.â€
This proverb holds true not just between nations, but even between family members and friends. How many a war have we engaged in which the tongue was our sharpest and most brutal weapon?
In the teachings of Islamic spirituality there is much that is written about the importance of restraining the tongue. The tongue is called “the mirror of the heart.†In other words, what appears on our tongue is a chief indicator of what is in our hearts. And, this becomes even truer in those unguarded moments when anger, frustration, or stress gets the best of us and our tongues lose any sense of discipline.
This is, perhaps, why the Prophet Muhammad said that one of the ways of knowing if there is hypocrisy in our hearts is to examine what we say with our tongues when we become angry. If it is foul and vile words, then that is a measure of how much purification of the heart remains.
The masters of Islamic spirituality teach that the heart and the tongue have a two-way relationship. Even though the tongue is the mirror whereas the heart is the reality, if we work on polishing the mirror the reality also becomes polished with time and effort.
So, what does it mean to work on the tongue? It means struggling within ourselves to restrain the tongue from all that is corrupt and ugly, like one would pull back a wild horse, and to train the tongue in the speech of goodness and beauty.
The sages and scholars of Islamic spirituality warn that the tongue should be guarded from the following 8 types of speech: lying; breaking promises or oaths; speaking ill of others or slandering; wrangling, arguing and disputing with others without any clear benefit or when you fear it will get out of hand; self-justification or self-praise in a way that leads to arrogance; cursing or using foul language; invoking evil on creatures even if they are your worst enemies; jesting, ridiculing, and scoffing at people in a way that hurts people’s feelings or gives them a bad reputation – this is even worse when this type of speech is directed toward an entire community of people.
Each one of these has their specific descriptions and treatments, but in summary there are five steps that we can take to become more aware of our speech and to polish our tongues, according to the spiritual teachers:
1) Knowledge: Just be aware of the 8 types of speech that you should avoid. Knowledge leads to introspection and introspection leads to reform. When you notice any of these ailments on your tongue, take yourself to task and work to change you condition.
2) Silence: The Prophet Muhammad said that “anyone who believes in God and the Last Day should either speak well or remain silent.†Silence is golden, so goes the saying. Thinking before you speak is the key. One of the great sages of Islam and Caliph after the Prophet Muhammad would place a small stone underneath his tongue and move it to speak only after considering whether what he had to say was truly beneficial. This might be too difficult of a practice for many of us, but it goes to show how seriously silence was taken among the spiritual elite.
3) Fasting: Increase your days of fasting, for fasting by its nature teaches restraint.
4) Change your surrounding: Keeping good company and keeping yourself busy with good things so that your tongue finds very little opportunity to engage in baseless conversations.
5) Remembering the Divine: Cloaking your tongue with the beautiful names of God and the praise of those names will make your tongue to incline toward that which is beautiful and wholesome. Eventually, ugly speech will be completely antithetical and unnatural to a tongue that is used to beauty.
The remaining days of Ramadan are perfect days to intensify our practice of cultivating a disciplined tongue. These are not only the days of peak restraint but also of increasingly remembering God, seeking forgiveness and longing for salvation.
This cannot be undone and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.
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