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Explaining to a 10 year old how babies are born

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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 31st October 2022 14:11
I was sat with the family yesterday and was just saying to my daughter that she looks like me and also at times makes similar facial expressions to me and her brother looks like his mother.
So she then said I don't understand how I look like you. I can understand if I looked like my mum because I came out of mums stomach but I don't see how I would look like you because I did not come out of your stomach. Obviously I did not explain then how the process works and within a minute after her saying that she forgot about it and we carried on talking about something else.

It just got me thinking how or should I as a parent explain to a 10 year old where babies come from. I'm thinking of saying to her that: look, a mum and dad are both needed to have a baby, not going to get into the details about it but that's just how it works. And when she is older, as I believe 10 is still young and only turned 10 this month-though I'm happy to take on other people's views, I can ask her mum or female relatives to explain the process later. Well I intend to make sure she is taught this Islamically at home or the madrasah rather than in school.

Let me know if parents have had a similar conversation with their children.
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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 31st October 2022 14:12
Sorry can this be moved to parenting section please.
I think I posted it in the COVID section.
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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 31st October 2022 15:42
We just told our kids that Allah Taala sends children after mother and father get married to each other. They were still preteen at the time so they didn't press us for any more details when we told them this.
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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 31st October 2022 17:50
Malak wrote:
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Moved.

Re topic:
You can keep it simple :)

Tell her that Allah gifted the children to you both but only women can have children, not men and so Allah takes some things from each parent like, looks, habits, skin color eye, colour and so on and then passes them onto you. So when you are born, you resemble your parents.

If the questions get deeper, perhaps tell her that sometimes mummy loves daddy more, so Allah chooses for the baby to look like the mummy and sometimes daddy loves mummy more, so Allah chooses for the baby to look like daddy :)

At other times, when both mummy and daddy love each other equally, Allah then shares everything out, so you can get a bit of both.

I hope that's easy to explain.

If they know about genes, then take the route of whichever genes were stronger.....(at this stage, you won't be able to explain resemblances based on the first to ejaculate, so you'll have to stick to loving each other. In fact I think they will have to learn that when they are much older by their teacher, not parent I guess)
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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 31st October 2022 21:50
Because babies will look like whoever mum stared at the most when you were being created in the stomach. If you look like mum then it means she stared too much in the mirror. If you look like me it means she stared at me the most. Just be grateful you didn't end up looking like the WhatsApp logo.
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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 1st November 2022 04:55
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Just be grateful you didn't end up looking like the WhatsApp logo.
LOL!
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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 1st November 2022 10:31
Can some recall from his memory, what did he think in his childhood days of how babies were born .


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#8 [Permalink] Posted on 1st November 2022 23:17
I might just keep quiet for the time being until it is bought up in conversation again!
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#9 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd November 2022 16:56
akbar703 wrote:
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Alhamdulillah I had an innocent normal regular childhood where schools didn't shove sexuality down our throats weekly. I honestly cannot remember ever wondering anything until year 8 (age 12/13) when it was brought up in school but thankfully I was sick that day and puked up in school and sent home. That wasn't sickness, that was Allah saving me from filth. I left in year 9 for darul uloom and there it only came up in Fiqh at later stages so we had the understanding and maturity to learn it as Ilm with rulings when it mattered.

To all parents, consider homeschooling. I can't stress this enough.
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#10 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd November 2022 17:37
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To all parents, consider homeschooling. I can't stress this enough.
Advice worth its weight in gold, mashallah.
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#11 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd November 2022 17:59
Yasin wrote:
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Alhamdulillah you are blessed. Others are not lucky.
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#12 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd November 2022 18:02
Yasin wrote:
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My idea behind that post was, let us place ourselves in child's place, let us recall and think like today's child. And teach him the way we as child would have got convinced or confused and the sensitive discussion would have discontinued.
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#13 [Permalink] Posted on 3rd November 2022 01:01
akbar703 wrote:
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Never thought about it. But at the age of about 9 went to Pakistan. And
found out about it whilst I was there. All the boys my age or younger new.
Simply from observing the farm animals and live stock.



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#14 [Permalink] Posted on 3rd November 2022 06:54
Malak wrote:
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Since your daughter is 10, it may be a good idea to impart the information to her sooner rather than later. Kids these days are exposed to so much through school, media, friends that its better if it is conveyed at home. I don't think 10 is a young age for this topic, in this day and age.
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#15 [Permalink] Posted on 3rd November 2022 08:32
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To all parents, consider homeschooling. I can't stress this enough.

The only way to go these days, IMO. And that's even if I didn't think modern education is pretty much a scam to churn out slaves without actually calling them slaves.
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