Forum Menu - Click/Swipe to open
 
Top Members

The Scoring Technique Works Here Too!

You have contributed 5.9% of this topic

Thread Tools
Appreciate
Topic Appreciation
sipraomer, Taalibah
Rank Image
sipraomer's avatar
Offline
MARS
2,170
Brother
236
sipraomer's avatar
#1 [Permalink] Posted on 19th January 2019 23:02

Asalam o Alaikum,


Four or five days ago I came up with a technique which can be used to persuade your kids to do the right things you want them to do.

I took inspiration from video games. Lol! I thought that if virtual rewards can engage humans to such an extent then why not apply this technique and use it productively.

My 3 year old was not eating his food and an idea struck to my mind. I said that if you will finish this food, you will be rewarded 10 marks. He immediately finished his food. Similarly his 7 year old sibling was not doing something and I persuaded her to do by rewarding her with marks.

So far this technique is working and I have advised my wife to use this technique to persuade instead of shouting. I keep using this technique on daily basis so that it is hard wired in their psyche. I also intend to print a Certificate of son of the week and daughter of the week each week to encourage good behavior and discourage bad behavior. 

I also intend to plan out privileges associated with score and a way of recording the score. It can be recorded in a digital device like mobile or offline in a small diary or maybe, I may come to a better idea. So far I have found that at least in my situation it is highly effective.

What are your techniques of doing tarbiyah and teaching good manners to your kids? What do you do?





report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
xs11ax's avatar
Unspecified
3,158
Brother
2,253
xs11ax's avatar
#2 [Permalink] Posted on 19th January 2019 23:27
Finally! The Star Chart has made its way over to pakistan and will replace the champal. About 20 years behind the rest of the world, but better late than never lol.

report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
#3 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 01:20
If you are rewarding something on accumulation of those marks, never ever break it. Offer them more, even if the cost is high.
Even after a decade my children remind me of a visit to a botanical garden.
So keep the promise.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
sipraomer's avatar
Offline
MARS
2,170
Brother
236
sipraomer's avatar
#4 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 03:01
Guest-49230 wrote:
View original post


What if I offer hugs and kisses in return to higher marks? I can offer more and more as time and marks progress and I can fulfill it whole heartedly if I promise this with them. I can even kiss and hug their children and their grand children if I live to see them too. ;)
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
sipraomer's avatar
Offline
MARS
2,170
Brother
236
sipraomer's avatar
#5 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 03:10
xs11ax wrote:
View original post


Quote:
Finally! The Star Chart has made its way over to pakistan and will replace the champal. About 20 years behind the rest of the world, but better late than never lol.


You call it champal. We call it chappal. Sindhis call it chompal. In punjabi it is called Chhittarr. Interestingly in all these languages, it starts from Ch in Roman and Chhhay in Urdu.

report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
bint e aisha's avatar
Offline
Unspecified
2,250
Sister
1,826
bint e aisha's avatar
#6 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 07:21
Assalamu alaikum

My father would use a similar technique when we were kids and he learnt this from his teacher which must be almost about 45 years ago.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
xs11ax's avatar
Unspecified
3,158
Brother
2,253
xs11ax's avatar
#7 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 07:34
sipraomer wrote:
View original post

I don't know about this. I think hugs and kisses should be given regardless of anything else. If they grow up equating hugs and kisses to certain things then that could have some sort of unwanted psychological effect.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
sipraomer's avatar
Offline
MARS
2,170
Brother
236
sipraomer's avatar
#8 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 07:43
xs11ax wrote:
View original post


Yeah! That's a good point. But they are free and not that expensive.

Privileges are not necessarily things. These can be honoring words. Praiseworthy titles.

Well I will have to think about it and develop this technique more.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
sipraomer's avatar
Offline
MARS
2,170
Brother
236
sipraomer's avatar
#9 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 07:44
bint e aisha wrote:
View original post


Your father is a genius. Ma sha Allah.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
xs11ax's avatar
Unspecified
3,158
Brother
2,253
xs11ax's avatar
#10 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 08:10
sipraomer wrote:
View original post

But they might equate love with pleasing people. Love should be unconditional.

I think the best way to teach children is to lead by example. Maybe have a star chart for the whole family including yourself and your wife relative to each other's daily/weekly tasks. Give the kids stars for fulfilling their tasks and let them do the same for you and your wife. It will be a fun game for them and will encourage them.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
sipraomer's avatar
Offline
MARS
2,170
Brother
236
sipraomer's avatar
#11 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 08:54
xs11ax wrote:
View original post


Quote:
Love should be unconditional


Is the love of our creator unconditional?

However, I agree to the last para of your comment.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
xs11ax's avatar
Unspecified
3,158
Brother
2,253
xs11ax's avatar
#12 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 11:04
sipraomer wrote:
View original post

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

I don't know and it's not something I want to get into unless there is some clear statement in the quran or hadith.

But I know that when it comes to children they are masoom and they will not be judged on anything that they do.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Yasin's avatar
UK
6,051
Brother
154
Yasin's avatar
#13 [Permalink] Posted on 20th January 2019 16:55
sipraomer wrote:
View original post


Our love should be unconditional. Showing the love and reward should be conditional. The creator's love is way above and beyond our love.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
sipraomer's avatar
Offline
MARS
2,170
Brother
236
sipraomer's avatar
#14 [Permalink] Posted on 21st January 2019 08:08
Yasin wrote:
View original post


Sorry for this off topic question. I promise I will not further ask more questions. But just curious. (Sorry if it sounds blasphemous).

Allah will send kuffar and munafiqeen and the disobedient ones in Jahannum. Does it mean that He will keep on loving them because His love is perfect and love should be unconditional?

Ashadu La ilaha Illallah o Wa Ashadu Anna Mummadan Abduhu Wa Rasooluh

I bear witness that there is none to be worshipped but Allah and Muhammad SAWS is His Slave and Messenger.
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top
Rank Image
bint e aisha's avatar
Offline
Unspecified
2,250
Sister
1,826
bint e aisha's avatar
#15 [Permalink] Posted on 21st January 2019 08:23
report post quote code quick quote reply
back to top

 

Quick Reply

CAPTCHA - As you are a guest, you are required to answer the following:


In the above image: What colour is the text 'Remote' written in?