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Advice to my �online� daughter!

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#16 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 05:28
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Okay, insha'Allah I've reviewed the article to the end of 'shura' in a bit more detail and insha'Allah I'll do the remainder later. For now, here's what I would suggest insha'Allah:

Quote:
My daughter, I have bought you a phone and a laptop because I trust you and most importantly I trust Allah (SWT) to guide you but I still fear Shaytaan and I still fear my innocent daughter. You will forever be "my little daughter" and nothing will change that. I will always be protective and looking out for you no matter how many times I am told that you have all grown up now. I can't help it so forgive the silliness of an old man![/quote]
My daughter, I bought you a phone and laptop for your personal use because I trust you will use them conscientiously and that Allah Ta'aala will guide you in your decisions when doing so, I still fear Shaytaan's meddling and fear for your innocence. You will forever be "my little daughter" and nothing will change that. No matter how many times I am told how you are all grown up now, as your father I will always be protective and look out for you. I can't help it so forgive the silliness of this old man!

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I care for you because I love you. I was there when you were born, I called the Adhan in your ears and I took you home on your first day so I can't help it...By Allah! I can't help it but to look out for you.[/quote]
I love you and I care dearly about you. I was there when you were born, I called the Adhan in your ear, and I took you home on your first day; so, I can't help it... By Allah! I can't help but to look out for you!

Quote:
We may have some differences of opinion and Allah (SWT) has given you the right in his religion of Islam to have an opinion and to exercise it. I will NEVER stand in your way despite disagreement but all I want you to do is to go about taking your decisions the right way.[/quote]
We may have some differences of opinion and Allah (SWT) has given you the right to an opinion and to exercise it. Despite our disagreements, I will NEVER stand in your way but I would want you to go about taking decisions the right way.

Quote:
...Facebook, twitter, youtube, WhatsApp Islamic forums doesn't change the rules of seeking Deen.[/quote]
...don't...

Quote:
Sacred knowledge was in the hearts of men, then it moved into the books and the keys to these books are in the hands of scholars (rijal).

delete 'the' and add a comma after 'books' to read: "...then it moved into books, and the keys..."

[quote]My daughter, know that authentic knowledge will be taken away by the passing away of sincere Ulamah and Mashaykh and the misguided fools will take over their place.

My daughter, know that authentic knowledge will be taken away by the passing of sincere Ulamah and Mashaykh and that misguided fools will take over in their place.

[quote]Truly, Allah does not remove Sacred Knowledge by taking it out of servants, but rather by taking back the souls of Islamic scholars [in death], until, when He has not left a single scholar, the people take the ignorant as leaders, who are asked for and who give Islamic legal opinion without knowledge, misguided and misguiding [Bukhari]

Is this a direct quote?

[quote]My advice would be incomplete if I don't leave you with the details of some Ulamah and Mashaykh whom you can contact and seek guidance from...(SWT).

My advice would be incomplete if I didn't leave you with the details of some Ulamah and Mashaykh who are trusted by other Ulamah and Mashaykh and whom you can contact for guidance.

[quote]... You should use your online presence and publicise this information with the intention of seeking the pleasure of Allah (SWT).

What did you mean to say here? It is not clear. Perhaps you can re-word it a little.
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#17 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 07:39
All corrected and Saheeh Bukhari is a direct quote but I cannot find "You should use your online presence and publicise this information with the intention of seeking the pleasure of Allah (SWT)." I know that I have written that but where : - (
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#18 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 08:27
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Facebook, twitter, youtube, WhatsApp, Islamic forums doesn't change the rules of seeking Deen.


*use of ,
*don't / do not
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#19 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 12:01

Desi tadka wrote:
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Corrected.

Jazakallahu Khairun

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#20 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 13:30
Muadh_Khan wrote:
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It is the last part of the paragraph I quoted just prior to it insha'Allah. So:

"My advice would be incomplete if I didn't leave you with the details of some Ulamah and Mashaykh who are trusted by other Ulamah and Mashaykh and whom you can contact for guidance. You should use your online presence and publicise this information with the intention of seeking the pleasure of Allah (SWT)."
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#21 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 13:47

Acacia wrote:
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It wasn't there so I have added this...

My advice would be incomplete if I didn't leave you with the details of some Ulamah and Mashaykh who are trusted by other Ulamah and Mashaykh and whom you can contact for guidance. It is our duty as a Muslim to propagate goodness. You should use your online skills to propagate and publicise the information and Insha'Allah it will add to your treasure of rewards for the hereafter. Importantly, whoever finds this beneficial will remember you in their duas.

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#22 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 14:07
It is there - the last sentence before the list of ulemah

This reads much better masha'Allah. I would suggest a couple of minor changes though:

... our duty as Muslims to propagate goodness. You should use your online skills to propagate and publicize information...
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#23 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 14:11
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#24 [Permalink] Posted on 17th September 2013 14:40
Oh, sorry, I was referring to the version posted in this thread... not the linked (updated) article. Masha'Allah, it is updated on the link and no longer shows in the linked article.
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#25 [Permalink] Posted on 18th September 2013 00:04
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Under the heading Istikhara:

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The second unshaken component of decision making which is suggested to you by Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) is Istikhara. Many are mistaken that Istikhara is only for marriage but know that it is for each and every need in your life no matter how small. Those who beseech their Rabb and ask for guidance and the haughty who rely on their intellect, wisdom and experience miss out.

My daughter, don't be from the arrogant and the haughty because these are the traits of Shaytaan. Pray 2 Rakaat and then make dua.


The second unshaken component of decision making is Istikhara, as suggested by Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam). Many are mistaken in thinking that Istikhara is only for marriage; but, know that it is for each and every need in your life - no matter how small. Those who beseech their Rabb and ask for guidance, are guided; and, the haughty who rely on their intellect, wisdom and experience, miss out. My daughter, don't be from the arrogant and the haughty because these are the traits of Shaytaan.

To perform Istikhara, pray 2 Rakaat and then make the following dua:

~~~

Also, you might want to add a comma in the first sentence of the last paragraph under the heading so that it reads:

"If nothing comes to your mind on the first day, and the anxiety and indecisiveness continues, you should repeat it the next day and so on for a week."

~~~

Furthermore, there is a disconnect of sorts here because it seems the recommendation is to do istikhara regardless of how strongly you feel about a decision but the last paragraph highlights anxiety and indecisiveness... so, do you mean to give this advice on matters the daughter is unsure of, or is it general? Either way, you might want to consider clarifying it a bit more insha'Allah.

~~~

Insha'Allah will continue with the rest later.
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#26 [Permalink] Posted on 18th September 2013 11:30

Acacia wrote:
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Amended, please review the changes and also take a look at the article here while Aapa Taalibah is also reviewing it.

Jazakallahu Khairun

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#27 [Permalink] Posted on 19th September 2013 13:08
Assalaamualikum Brother,

This seems like great advice to someone in the late teens onwards.

What about advice to the impressionable teenagers that have only begun their 'online journey'? So many young girls are addicted to things such as Facebook and then fall prey to complete strangers by compromising their chastity.

I feel it is this particular group that needs to be addressed/communicated to so that they do not then take the decisions they do (immediately and) later on in life.

Jazakallah,
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#28 [Permalink] Posted on 24th September 2013 06:37
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I've reviewed the section titled 'Marriage without Wali' and suggest the following changes:

~~~

Marriage without a Wali:

Now, let's talk about the issues pertaining to your friend Aisha which you briefly talked about this morning.

You said that Aisha met someone on Facebook whom she intends to marry and she believes that her father's objections to her choice are against Shariah. You also said that Aisha believes that, since she is Hanafi, she can go ahead and get married without a Wali. Masha'Allah, I remember little Aisha from Madrasa days - a likable little girl who always considered her words before speaking. In this case however, I think she may be getting a little ahead of herself and here's why:

1 Marriage without a Wali according to Imam Malik (RA), Imam Shaf'ae (RA) and Imam Ahmed Ibn Hanbal (RA) and their 3 Madhabs is invalid.

2 Marriage without a Wali according to Imam Abu Yusuf (RA), Imam Muhammad (RA) in the Hanafi Madhab is also invalid.

3 Marriage of a mature woman (baaligha) without a Wali according to Imam Abu Haneefa (RA) is valid, although the Sunnah is to involve the Wali.

A number of Hanafi Ulamah have given Fatwa upon the illustrious opinion of the students of Imam Abu Haneefa (RA) and regard marriage without wali as invalid. On the other hand, there are Ulamah who regard marriage without Wali as valid; nevertheless, they clearly discourage and advise against it.

Furthermore, if Aisha is choosing to take the dispensation within the Hanafi Madhab then she should also realize that the Hanafi Madhab has strict recommendations for Compatibility (kafa'a) in marriage and an Islamic Shariah council can rule in favour of her father and annul the marriage due to incompatibility. In other words, Aisha cannot take dispensation from the Hanafi Madhab on marriage without a Wali, but then ignore rulings pertaining to Compatibility (kafa'a).

I don't know why Aisha's father disagrees with her choice; but, regardless, I don't understand why Aisha thinks her father's reasons are invalid while hers are valid? To me, she should seek an independent opinion - she should remove herself and her father from the equation and discuss the issue with an Islamic Shariah council; and, if they deliberate and then rule that her father's reasons are invalid, then she can let a Mufti act as a Wali on her behalf. The noble Sunnah of Sayyidina Rasul-ullah (Sallallaho Alaihe Wassallam) has given us guidance in this matter:

Quote:
If they dispute, then the ruler is the guardian of the one who has no guardian. [Tirmidhi, Abi Dawud]


Clearly, there is a dispute between Aisha and her father; however, instead of relying on her judgment and stripping her marriage of the blessings of Allah (SWT), she should contact her nearest Islamic Shariah council since we don't have any Muslim rulers. That way, not only will her decision be independently verified, but her interests and wishes will be protected as well.

Finally, Aisha should realize that Allah (SWT) has stipulated the condition of a Wali for Muslim women for a reason and she should reconsider breaking away from the protection He has given her through her Wali. While she has the right to marry the person of her choice, she should go about it the right way - ensuring the pleasure and blessings of Allah (SWT). To that end, Ulamah at the Islamic Shariah council will discuss the matter with her father and, if they determine his reasons are unfounded, they may even help convince him - so there is nothing but good in seeking consultation with Ulamah.


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#29 [Permalink] Posted on 24th September 2013 09:35
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#30 [Permalink] Posted on 24th September 2013 14:41
Wa iyyaki.
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