Cyber Profiling

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#16 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 18:08

Acacia wrote:

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I humbly and politely disagree. It isn't complex its all.

Deviation from Sunnah, (injecting and) inflicting cultural based practises into Islam is the problem. People will always like people and wish to marry them and when we move away from noble Sunnah then stalking, fantascing and other Haram practises will result.

Life of Sahaba (RA) should be an example for us in everything.

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#17 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 18:24

This thread needs to be merged with brother Muadhs thread on profile building.

If someone can provide the link then inshaAllah one of the authorizers will merge the topic.

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#18 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 18:28

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Waalaikumussalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu:

I'm of 2 minds on this issue. I'll try to explain insha'Allah.

(1) it most definitely is necessary to protect ourselves from fitnah, and from being a means of fitnah for others; however

(2) profiling is a necessary part of healthy social interactions and this does not by any means mean free mixing or anything like that.

So, while we need to protect ourselves from possible stalkers or governments who may use the information we post against us (regardless of what the context is, they could easily weave a story around any image or word), we also need to protect our niyyah insha'Allah. If we come here for the wrong reasons in the first place, then insha'Allah we need to correct our intentions as soon as we realize this. If we find ourselves slipping or distracted from our original niyyah, then we need to get ourselves back on track insha'Allah. Niyyah is so important here.

All that said, while masha'Allah many members here and elsewhere seem to be part of healthy growing strong Muslim communities in real-life, not everyone is. Profile me if you like but I can tell you that I fall into the second category so I speak now from that perspective, insha'Allah with pure intentions to raise awareness. Please remind yourselves often that you are truly blessed if you grew up in a household that provided such a community for you or if you married into such a family or if you were able to form such connections through others around you. Say alhamdulillah and please remember to have compassion towards others who are struggling to be part of a community, may be new Muslims or may be Muslims who simply were uninformed or ill informed. Alhamdulillah, regardless of if we have a community external to the net or not, these communities (i.e. MS, SF, IT, etc.) undoubtedly form part of that fabric for us.

~~~ I was going to delete the following but insha'Allah it will be helpful for some so keeping it in ~~~

I need to remind everyone that while some of us may have neat little social networks and safety nets (mahrams - assuming the role is taken seriously by both sides), there are so many people who don't and various online communities are our only connections. In other words, online communities are surrogates for many of us.

Q: how many of us can hide our gender, our age, our appearance, our likes and dislikes, our location, our levels of education, our occupation, our hobbies, our ambitions and desires from those in the communities we engage with on a daily basis, in real-life? I don't mean those we must deal with but those we want to deal with (i.e. from the ummah, strong Muslim communities). So, for example, brothers go out in jamaat and get to know all sorts of details. Sisters have halaqas and get to know one another quite well. Not only that, we get to know about the details of people who are connected to them whom we may have never met! So, this is unavoidable and clearly quite necessary to function within a community. It is part of being healthy.

Now, if the only community of the ummah you can truly engage with is online but you can not discern details about the people you communicate with... then this makes for a bit of a scary and repelling situation. I can tell you all straight up that if I could not tell at least a little something about some of you, I would not be here. I can also tell you all that if I had (insha'Allah) a healthy external community, I wouldn't be here as often... however, knowing what I went through, I wouldn't want anyone to feel abandoned in the ummah so lets make an effort for everyone insha'Allah. Remember: stay safe and check that niyyah.

Alhamdulillah, good Islamic sites know the limits and enforce them really well masha'Allah. Balanced, alhamdulillah.

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#19 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 18:33

Muadh_Khan wrote:

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Oh, I don't disagree at all with what you've written in your blog and what sister ummi taalib has posted here. I'm just trying to shed light on another aspect of this issue.

By the way, this last post is exactly what I am saying only in a different way. Insha'Allah please take a moment to read what I've written... it is long, I apologize.

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#20 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 18:38

abu mohammed wrote:

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Threads merged.

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#21 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 18:43

Acacia wrote:

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Pretty much how I think, Sister.

Jazakallahu Khayran for expressing it in a more eloquent manner.

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#22 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 19:48

I would have preferred the topic of profiling separate and not merged. I think its quite important for this topic to have a proper title

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#23 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 19:58

Sister Acacia, you explained it well however the more I think about it, to a certain degree I have to disagree. Even with correct intentions one should give out as little PERSONAL details as possible. I'm thinking of my own self. Over the years I have inadvertently let slip so many personal details...lets just take age since I've become khala to many... my age would be a put off for youngsters, what about those a bit older? and this is just one part of it. It is quite dangerous - for men and women, a woman could also become "Enamoured" with a brother whose personal details are appealling

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#24 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 20:07

Mods, please change the topic to something suitable like "Cyber profiling" etc...

Jazakallahu Khayran

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#25 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 20:45

Profiles can be built and put together. We read posts and share information daily. We help and give advice and speak of our own experiences all the time.

IF we behave the way we should according to Qur'an and Sunnah, then there shouldn't be this fear of others profiling us.

If someone does build a profile for personal benefits, like being sick in the head! Then they have to answer to Allah.

Without us giving real life examples or experience, we would be lying.

So if anyone of us is building a profile, then let them know that this is a sort of perversion.

If it's of sisters trying to relate to other sister and brother's for other brothers, then that's fine. Correct the intention and all shall be fine.

We all have to answer to Allah.

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#26 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 20:54

'Khala' could imply the oldest of the old. Unless someone is going around sharing your exact age, neither the young nor the old would know exactly how old you are.

'Aapa' could imply someone older but also could be used for a sister who has more knowledge, masha'Allah. I've used it for teachers (sisters) much younger than me.

Those who put their birth dates up may have a year combination or a month date combination, or it may have nothing to do with their birth date and may be the date they graduated from grad school or the year their child was born... right? We can't assume it is what we think it is.

I personally tend to assume everyone is younger than me (unless I know for sure) and that everyone is infinitely more knowledgeable than me. Full stop.

~~~

Then there are:

* individual avatars. Yes, we don't put up photos but we do choose avatars that do reflect some aspect of our personality.

* visitor details in the form of site stats and such. Some locations stick out like a sore-thumb and others are so densely populated by Muslims masha'Allah that it could be anybody!

* the ways in which we put words together, the colours and fonts we choose, the information we choose to share (i.e. from external sources like lectures or books, etc.), the threads we choose to comment on, etc. etc. - they all say a little bit about us. Remember the 'guess who' game not too long ago? The way the brother writes gave away his identity right away for some who are familiar with their style. The username and avatar were different but that didn't stop those who knew from knowing almost immediately masha'Allah. It also helps discern who to pay closer attention to - their words are worth their weight in gold masha'Allah. We all do this, there is no denying it and it is a natural part of communication.

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#27 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 21:25

I should add here that forums are pretty open and particular about stating that they are not marriage bureaus. If there are sisters and brothers looking to find a spouse, there are proper avenues for that. If you don't have community around you and you are looking for marriage, then there are options available for you too but not through forums. The intention of interactions on forums should not be romance or infatuation.

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#28 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 21:47

Muadh_Khan wrote:

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Done.

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#29 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 21:50

ummi taalib wrote:

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Jazakallah to you both. I appreciate the topic title should be as accurate as possible. So if you can give me the correct tittle, then inshaAllah, one of the authorizers will edit the first post and change the tittle.

Both topics are mirror images of each other and should be together.

Muadh_Khan wrote:

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#30 [Permalink] Posted on 30th December 2013 21:52

Taalibah wrote:

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Oh well, you must've read my profile and worked out when I was on line and beat me to it.

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