How to plan an Islamic wedding?

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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 25th March 2013 09:53

Asslamo Allaikum,

I have some experience in planning weddings & walimas (Alhumdolillah) so someone has asked me to write an article on the subject, it will include:

How to deal with your family when they are not Sunnah oriented?
Anything wrong with photography and video making? How to deal with the issue and work with family?
Anything wrong with sending cards and invitation? How to deal with the issue and work with family?
How to execute Nikah? Where to execute Nikah?
What is segregation? How to plan it and how to achieve it?
How to welcome Guests?
How to give due respect to elders, Ulamah, teachers (special guests)
How to plan the stage issues (bride/groom, pictures etc)? How to decorate?
How to deal with background music issues?
Food (Catering and Serving tips)? How to execute segregated serving? Where to eat?
What is honeymoon and is it permissable?

If there are other issues please write them down so they can be addressed.

Jazakullah Khairun

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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 25th March 2013 20:56

Many Muslims want to have an Islamic wedding and boast about following the Quran and Sunnah, Alhumdulillah.

But!

There is this new (its old now) thing, "No boxed gifts" if people are claiming to follow the Sunnah through out, then can someone please provide their Daleel of such a statement?

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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 26th March 2013 05:07

"abu mohammed" wrote:

Many Muslims want to have an Islamic wedding and boast about following the Quran and Sunnah, Alhumdulillah. But! There is this new (its old now) thing, "No boxed gifts" if people are claiming to follow the Sunnah through out, then can someone please provide their Daleel of such a statement?

sorrys but thats a silly question.

why would you need daleel for such a thing? This has no islamic conotation to it.

You sould like a salafi!!! LOOOOL

Its common sense, the whole point of wiriting this is so you dont get 100 toasters. I remember my uncles wedding back in the days, he recieved over 20 toaster - as their the cheapest home appliance.

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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 26th March 2013 09:36

I know what you mean rizmalek, but the main point I was trying to make is when people claim to follow the Sunnah through out the wedding, so where does this custom fit in?

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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 26th March 2013 10:00

"abu mohammed" wrote:

I know what you mean rizmalek, but the main point I was trying to make is when people claim to follow the Sunnah through out the wedding, so where does this custom fit in?

Not sure about the Sunnah but its sort of shameless to ask people what to give it to you as a gift.

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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 26th March 2013 11:26

Sounds about right to me, defeats the purpose of being a "gift" if you can request what you want. Having said that, the 21st century "gift" may be one that is asked for in advance? Part of the "evolution" of "gifts" eh?

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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 26th March 2013 11:27

abu mohammed wrote:

There is this new (its old now) thing, "No boxed gifts" if people are claiming to follow the Sunnah through out, then can someone please provide their Daleel of such a statement?

OTT...

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#8 [Permalink] Posted on 26th March 2013 12:54

salaam

debt issues and spending what you do not have. spending within your means.

the culture of today is to spend money to impress others. there is a lot of peer pressure to do this and those who cannot comply are made to feel as if their wedding is inadequate and not up to par.

i had a friend who got married not so long ago. he was forced into (by parents/family/brides family) spending money which he did not have for things he did not need nor wanted. he was coerced into borrowing this money from others and the burden to pay it back after the wedding was left on his head.

but he also got carried away with some things (such as fancy car hire and long expensive honeymoon) and borrowed money from others even though he was already in debt. again the burden of this was left on his own head after the wedding.

kids get carried away when it comes to their wedding only for reality to hit them once all the fanfare dies down and they are left with a debt on their head at a time when they need to spend money on other things.

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#9 [Permalink] Posted on 20th August 2013 12:09

Nikah & Walima Dilemma: Planning Trips & Tricks!

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#10 [Permalink] Posted on 20th August 2013 13:11

www.muftisays.com/forums/12-virtues/3726-islamic-wedding....

ISLAMIC WEDDING
By Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat

Wedding of faatimah radhiyallahu anhaa

F�timah radhiyallahu anh� is the youngest daughter of our beloved Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Out of all the children, she was the most beloved to him. He said, "The queen of the ladies in Jannah is F�timah." He also said, "F�timah is part of my body. Whoever grieves her, grieves me."

When F�timah radhiyallahu anh� reached the age of fifteen, proposals for her marriage began to come from high and responsible families. But the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam remained irresponsive.

Ali radhiyallahu anhu, who was 21 at the time, says: It occurred to me that I should go and make a formal proposal, but then I thought, "How could this be accomplished, for I possess nothing." At last, encouraged by the Prophet's kindness, I went to him and expressed my intention to marry F�timah radhiyallahu anh�. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam was extremely pleased and asked, "Ali! Do you possess anything to give her in mahr?" I replied, "Apart from a horse and an armour I possess nothing."

The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam said, "A soldier must, of course, have his horse. Go and sell away your armour."

So, Ali radhiyallahu anhu went and sold his armour to Uthm�n radhiyallahu anhu for 480 Dirham and presented it to Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam. Bil�l radhiyallahu anhu was ordered by the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam to bring some perfume and a few other things and Anas radhiyallahu anhu was sent to call Abu Bakr, Uthm�n, Talhah, Zubayr with some companions from the Ans�r radhiyallahu anhum.

When these men arrived and had taken their seats, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam recited the khutbah (sermon) of nik�h and gave F�timah radhiyallahu anh� in marriage to Ali radhiyallahu anhu. He announced, "Bear you all witness that I have given my daughter F�timah in marriage to Ali for 400 mithq�l of silver and Ali has accepted." He then raised his head and made du'� saying, "O Allah, create love and harmony between these two. Bless them and bestow upon them good children." After the nik�h, dates were distributed.

When the time came for F�timah radhiyallahu anh� to go to Ali's radhiyallahu anhu house, she was sent without any clamour, hue and cry accompanied by Umme Ayman radhiyallahu anh�. After the 'Eesh� Sal�t, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam went to their house, took permission and entered. He asked for a basin of water, put his blessed hands into it and sprinkled it on both Ali radhiyallahu anhu and F�timah radhiyallahu anh� and made du'� for them.

The sovereign of both worlds gave his beloved daughter a silver bracelet, two Yemeni sheets, four mattresses, one blanket, one pillow, one cup, one hand-grinding mill, one bedstead, a small water skin and a leather pitcher.

In this simple fashion, the wedding of the daughter of the leader of both the worlds was solemnized. In following this Sunnah method, a wedding becomes very simple and easy to fulfill.

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#11 [Permalink] Posted on 20th August 2013 13:15

Added to the bottom of the article.

Jazakullah Khairun

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#12 [Permalink] Posted on 20th August 2013 13:18

Some points derived from the above mentioned marriage
1.The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Sharee'ah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.

2.To unnecessarily delay nik�h of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.

3.There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of nik�h. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.

4.It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.

5.If the father of the girl is an �lim or pious and capable of performing nik�h, then he should himself solemnize the marriage.

6.It is better to give the Mahr F�timi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.

7.It is totally un-Isl�mic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.

8.It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam?

9.The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Sharee'ah.

10.There is nothing such as engagement parties and mendhi parties in Isl�m.

11.Great care must be taken as regards to Sal�t on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.

12.It is un-Isl�mic to display the bride on stage.

13.The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Sharee'ah.

14.For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'�nic law of hij�b.

15.It is un-Isl�mic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.

16.Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter gifts and presents at the time of nik�h:
i) Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest, for such presents);
ii) To give necessary items;
iii) A show should not be made of whatever is given.

17.It is Sunnah for the bridegroom's family to make waleemah.

NOTE: In waleemah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.

18.To delay nik�h after the engagement is un-Isl�mic.

Some customs
Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Isl�mic and frowned upon.

Some examples are:

i Displaying the bride on stage;

ii Inviting guests for the wedding from far-off places;

iii Receiving guests in the hall;

iv The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in
Sharee'ah. We should remember that waleemah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated;

v It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabee sallallahu alayhi wasallam did not give Ali radhiyallahu anhu anything except du'�.

Copyright � 2008 Islamic Da'wah Academy
Source: www.idauk.org/

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#13 [Permalink] Posted on 20th August 2013 13:21

Added to the bottom of the article.

Jazakullah Khairun

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#14 [Permalink] Posted on 20th August 2013 13:25

sorry brother muadh I did see your post, was still in the processing of editing, sorry for any inconvenience.

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#15 [Permalink] Posted on 20th August 2013 13:27

Taalibah wrote:

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No my fault as I had forgotten to add it. The purpose of the article is different and deals with the practical side of things

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