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Premarital Questions

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abu mohammed, member2, Yasin, super-glue
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#61 [Permalink] Posted on 11th October 2023 07:21
Saracen1 wrote:
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It's a very valid question.

Not all questions suit all regions and cultures.

akbar703 wrote:
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Of the 100+ premarital questions, how many satisfied replies make the selection possible.

Even one answer can be satisfactory and one doesn't need to ask even half of these questions. These are questions that are not necessarily asked or even thought about until its too late. Consider it as a guide or checklist.
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#62 [Permalink] Posted on 11th October 2023 12:33
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pious expect a house wife.

A scenario:
A local pious man is seeking a wife (In India). He wants a house wife.

He finds a potential spouse. The spouse is well educated. Maulana says he doesn't want her to work. He wants her to stay at home. She refuses marriage.

She refused, yet all she wanted to do was teach children in a Madrasah....

Work that entails Haram or goes beyond the Shari' rulings are the only valid reasons for not allowing a person to work (man or woman in their own respected fields)

Therefore, such questions are still valid and having a working wife is not against Islam. It is only against ego if no rules are broken.
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#63 [Permalink] Posted on 11th October 2023 13:10
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In our society house wife means a lady who won't earn and support her husband to run the family.

She is free to take voluntary assignments.
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#64 [Permalink] Posted on 11th October 2023 13:38
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She can easily teach at home. Cause he probably doesn’t want her hours or life to be dictated by other men.

Not to side track, but it’s problematic when women teach in these so called Madrisahs that have other Men involved. Many instances of illicit relationships and texting back and forth takes place.

Girls Madrisahs are best run in the home environment and every learned lady can run her own set up. No need to be under the flagship of a Madrisah.

I know personally people who have gone through a big upset because the “Alimah” wife was teaching in a setting apart from the house.
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#65 [Permalink] Posted on 11th October 2023 14:45
akbar703 wrote:
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She can tutor from home or sew clothes and any earnings is her wealth. She can teach voluntarily and earn much more in terms of reward, that's her choice. But It's the husbands duty to provide anyway. Yet, if the husbands income doesn't fulfil the needs of the family, there is no harm in accepting the money from the wife. Such money would be considered a Sadaqah if I'm not mistaken. She can contribute voluntarily and gain rewards. Not every man will meet the needs of his family.

And what about when the husband is unable to work or dies? Who would she rely on if there is no other family member to seek help from.

If you are saying that women CANNOT work FOR MONEY at all, then that's a new topic and we can discuss that on a new thread.

mSiddiqui wrote:
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It's unfortunate this stuff does happen.


But those who do not allow women to work under Halal circumstances are wrong and possibly hypocritical.

Has anyone ever been treated by a female doctor, nurse, or taught by a female teacher? Yet we allow ourselves to be with these women, alone in rooms with the doors closed because it's required. We allow female cleaners to come and clean the homes because it's too degrading for ourselves to do it or our wives are too overwhelmed with other duties in the home.

And if we don't allow our women to become these professionals, we are allowing our women to be treated by male nurses, doctors and so on.

If all the needs of the husband and children are being fulfilled, the wife is getting her rights fulfilled, then if there is no need to work, that's a different situation.

Same goes for the tailors. I've seen tailors taking measurements of females, Innalillahi wa Inna Ilayhi Rajioon. We should have female tailors making clothes for females. This is also their income, to which the husband has no right.

But if you brothers are NOT saying they cannot work at all, for money, then I understand your views and respect them in it's context.

:)
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#66 [Permalink] Posted on 14th October 2023 08:47
abu mohammed wrote:
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https://qa.muftisays.com/?9095

I always wanted to be a stay at home mum and raise my kids. I had three children over seven years and they all passed away soon after birth. Since we're not planning to have more children at the moment and we live alone in a western country I was thinking about having a career to be more productive and to distract myself and keep myself busy. We are not in any financial difficulty and my husband earns enough for the both of us. I cover my face (niqab) but would have to remove it for job purposes. Would this be permissible?

The above incident is a sample:

Your girl is very intelligent, getting free admission in college. What will she do staying at home? If there is a degree, very good proposals for marriage will come. We have to demonstrate to the world that pious families are not far behind in acquiring higher education. etc. etc.

She gets a very good job in CAMPUS selection. This job is very difficult to get. Very good package, a meraaj for ordinary student. You can offer the salary money in charity.

In the office they insist on dress code, HR training programs in remote locations, well, all colleagues live like brothers and sisters, no need for purdah.

The plant grows.
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#67 [Permalink] Posted on 14th October 2023 10:45
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The first half of the post and the answer in the link doesn't say that the sister is not allowed to work!

Also note that the sister in the question has no financial difficulties that she had to earn money to support the family. She simply wants to work to keep herself occupied, yet the main concern of the sister was the Niqab. If women were not permitted to work, the Mufti could've or would've said that she is financially stable and has no need to work for money, therefore, not permitted.

She can work as long as she doesn't go contrary to shariah
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#68 [Permalink] Posted on 14th October 2023 11:50
abu mohammed wrote:
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It starts with optional, hobby, to kill time..... then it is made compulsory for women to work....

WOMEN IN THE '90S_PROGRESS, PARADOX AND RETREAT


"INVOLVING women in industrial production has led to their developing notions alien to their biological features and proper

interests . . . . The most important thing which should be done for women is to help them get back to the environment appropriate to their biology, where they can be fulfilled. And I would dare to suggest that the family is where women are most likely to find real happiness. If women abandon the family, ruin must follow."

So wrote a young Soviet man last year in the Soviet journal Technology and Science. He is not alone in his views. After five years of perestroika and glasnost, similar attitudes fill the press and dominate policy debates about women's role in Soviet society.

Even the enlightened Mikhail Gorbachev sounds alarmingly traditional on the subject of women. "We are now holding heated debates about the question of what we should do to make it possible for women to return to their purely womanly mission," Gorbachev wrote in his 1987 book "Perestroika." Gorbachev has changed his tune a bit since then, speaking recently of wanting women "promoted more widely to leadership work," but he continues to emphasize women's roles as mothers and homemakers rather than as political actors
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#69 [Permalink] Posted on 14th October 2023 12:40
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Who is saying that women need to get involved in such industrial work or jobs suitable for men?

Doctors, nurses, dentist, medicine, tailoring, cooking, baking, Alimah's, tutors, teachers, carers, henna artists, baby sitting, all female markets (like the Taliban) and so many more.

No need for "democratic rights" they need Islamic morals, rights, responsibilities and so on. The moment they want their democratic right, just like many Muslim men, things will most definitely start going down hill.
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#70 [Permalink] Posted on 14th October 2023 15:27
abu mohammed wrote:
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I have experienced the pain the working ladies go through. They can't express it. But money makes them relieve the pain.

I had read an article published some time back.

Men whose wife won't earn, happily take more challenges in life, their progress is faster, they enjoy taking challenges. This analysis is not from an scholar from madrasah, but the analysis is based on data collected through honest survey.
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