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Premarital Questions

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abu mohammed, member2, Yasin, super-glue
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#46 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd May 2021 20:29
Rajab wrote:
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What method would you suggest for someone who is not allowed to talk to the prospective spouse and nor is there a common aquaintance who can tell them the real character of a person...and yet the proposal as sister bint aisha says, is appropriate in every way

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#47 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd May 2021 20:44
ummi taalib wrote:
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Its problematic when they are not allowed to completely talk to each other. Basic Q & A in an open room should be allowed.
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#48 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd May 2021 21:02
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Very true brother. Jzk

I would suggest (taking into consideration the two Hadith already mentioned about piety and Qadr) one more lesson.

Tie the camel first, then leave your trust in Allah!

So I'm going to tell this sister, do the necessary investigation. So much so that you are sure and satisfied with the blessings of Allah.

One can tie a camel with a thread, string, rope or chains. What would be the best thing to use? Whatever is secure.

No one will tie their camel with a thread and then leave it to Allah. That's just plain silly
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#49 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd May 2021 21:51
abu mohammed wrote:
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I should frame this hadith in my living room. Puts all the worries at ease.
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#50 [Permalink] Posted on 24th May 2021 00:31
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#51 [Permalink] Posted on 25th May 2021 07:06
When it comes to looking at the religious characteristics of a potential spouse, it is easy to just focus on the external appearance (beard, clothing etc.) and ask a few basic questions such as whether or not they pray regularly etc. However, an important point that shouldn't be overlooked is to find out where they get their religious guidance from. Whether or not they consult Ulama of a particular madhab, manhaj etc. If this is followed, this can prevent many arguments in future.

A very simple example would be this:

At the time of marriage, the wife moves into the apartment that the husband has been renting. There is no talk of buying a house. However, a few years later, the husband wants to buy a house on mortgage. The wife opposes it due to the un-Islamic features such as interest. She follows traditional Ulama who support her stance, but the husband is used to seeking out fatwas from liberal scholars who "halalize" most things.
Now there is a conflict between husband and wife. When she was getting married, the woman hadn't even thought that such an issue could arise.
Similarly, there can be countless religious issues where there could be a conflict so best to marry someone whose approach to seeking religious guidance and fatwas is similar to yours.

Another point:

Some people who outwardly follow the Sunnah may not even have correct aqeedah. Not too long ago, I read a person's comment on Facebook where he criticized Hazrat Muawiya رضي الله عنه. When I checked out his profile, I saw other posts too which displayed a similar attitude. However, this person had a full Sunnah beard.

Followers of people such as Engineer Ali Mirza may have beards and the women may cover themselves properly but the aqeedah could be corrupt and even their approach to Fiqh can be problematic.

So while external appearance and adherence to Shariah is important, one needs to go beneath the surface level and find out more.
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#52 [Permalink] Posted on 16th June 2021 09:53
abu mohammed wrote:
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Alhumdulillah, this thread has proven beneficial to many.

The sister from the UK has found a Hafidh of the Quran and has married him, Alhumdulillah.

She found some of the questions in the op very interesting and had never given thought to it.

Istikhara, dhikr, "Astaghfirullah" in particular and Mashura put her heart at peace.

What seemed impossible, became an easy task. Alhumdulillah.
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#53 [Permalink] Posted on 1st October 2021 09:26
Loading tweet
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#54 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd October 2021 14:53
This is not fake! Zakir Naik actually posted this.





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#55 [Permalink] Posted on 2nd October 2021 15:34
Mashallah, the entire family is practicing and dedicated to the cause of dawah.

A parent only wants what is best for their children, and they do everything within their reach to make that possible.

What Dr. Naik has done is not very unusual in the social circles of Bombay to which he belongs.
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#56 [Permalink] Posted on 11th April 2022 10:28
Sometimes the most obvious questions are not asked because by default, the question should not need asking.

However, 1 important question to ask is about Salah!

Not just if they pray etc, but how much importance do they give to Salah.

Being a Muslim we would assume the future partner to be, is a practicing person. But don't let this fool you.

There are millions out there who don't pray or don't give any attention to their Salah. For them it's like they've got it good from Allah, in fact, they have been fooled by Shaitan.


I bring this up because many brothers and sisters are marrying to people who they believe are pious people because they look it, or it's their job and so on.

There are many Muslims teachers in Islamic schools and madaaris who do not practice what they preach. They are neglectful of Salah. They are lazy or have other worldly distractions that stop them praying Salah.

Some brothers just want to marry a pretty girl in hijab and Salah holds no importance to either of them. Similarly a girl just wants to marry a guy who has money or is clean shaven or even one who actually has a beard but is the socialite type who wants to enjoy the lies and deception of the dunya.

So if you are truthful to yourself and do want an honest partner, then please do ask this obvious question.

It made me feel sad to hear about one person who felt betrayed after finding out that their spouse is neglectful of their Salah yet the peers think and talk so highly of them! Little do they know of the one whom they highly praised.

:(
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