Suggestion - PM between opposite genders

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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 01:12

As-salamu-'Alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Raheem

Insha'Allah, I would like to suggest to the shura/moderators/admins of this forum to permanently disable all PMing between opposite genders. Leaving such an option open (even though it has to be approved by authorizes) could potentially open the doors to fitan. I fail to see why a brother would need to talk to a sister in private. Any exchange between opposite genders can be said out in the open in front of everyone.

Insha'Allah let me know what you think.

p.s. Anyone who has not confirmed their gender should also not be allowed to pm anyone else until they confirm their gender.

wassalam.
jazakumullah khayran.

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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 04:12

I second this.

Useless PM feature must be disabled!!

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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 04:19

I agree with it, dear admins.

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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 04:43

السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته

A reminder to us all that we're not on sunniforum, nor do the authorizers here necessarily have familiarity with some of the sf users like some of the old mods back at sf. Yet, they have given sf users a special platform and a certain amount of privacy here on the forum. We should take that into consideration.

I'm not for PMs but at the end of the day...it's not my call to make.

Make requests...give sincere advice...give opinions and all that jazz...just try not to make them sound like demands.

Happy to see all of yous here...

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Shukr binds the present (bounties) and traps the absent (bounties)

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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 08:02

Arslan. wrote:

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I was unable to clarify many issues last night due to time constraints, I appreciate everyones different timezones, but will clarify many points about pm's between genders, as soon as it is reasonably possible, the time had gone to 1am in the morning, whilst dealing with this issue last night, we will further clarify on here today إن شاء الله

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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 08:18

Arslan. wrote:

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just re-posting my initial post regarding pm's taken from random thread prior to your reply above in quote will clarify further today:

Just to clarify regarding pm's all pm's between members need authorizing before being approved, until a member does not reach a certain amount of posts his pm's remain having to be approved by authorizers.

Other than this, brothers pm's to each other do not need authorizing, neither do sisters pm's to each other.

All pm's sent to opposite genders are all checked before being approved, even the pm's between authorizers.

Hope this helps in clearing any misconceptions.

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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 08:26

I would also like to add that, we did discuss this in private before and the thing is that we are not allowed to share certain information on the forums, for example, YouTube videos, email addresses, etc etc so such things are passed on via PM.

It is no way a dating system. If we see anything like that, then we decline it and make sure it doesn't happen again, but Alhumdulillah, we've not come across anything like that. Only positive things and certain questions are asked between members.

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#8 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 09:42

There are very few if any pm's between opposite genders, authorizers follow strictly on ms policies on what is allowed and what isn't, the very few that have been exchanged have been of exchanging information, or proof reading.

Apart from the above as a sister authorizer Im probably the only one who exchanges pm's with the opposite gender the most, all my pm's need approving before sent as vice versa, and they are all related to general forum help and support.

In the authorizers section the opposite gender pm's remain in full view at all times by all admins and authorizers.

The pm system has been carefully designed by admin in such a way that nothing can possibly go undetected. Members, authorizers and admins safety is paramount on ms, and has always taken priority over everything on ms.

Admins always scrutinize any flaws detected and fix them immediately, so your constructive suggestions and ideas are always welcomed, but rest assured there is nothing to be concerned about where pm's are concerned.

Hope this clarifies many misconceptions about the ms pm system, we would never allow anyone to abuse the system, and it's just not possible.

WasSalaam

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#9 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 09:45

Arslan. wrote:

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Asslamo Allaikum,

Why do you feel to see that?

There are genuine Shariah approved reasons for speaking to members of opposite sex and people should be mature and adult enough to make the choice and if they make an error (which people do) then the situation should be rectified by speaking to them.

If you have guidelines from Qur'aan and Sunnah which prevent this please bring it to everyone's attention.

Jazakallahu Khayran

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#10 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 09:47

Maria al-Qibtiyya wrote:

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The pm feature is very far from being a useless feature, it is something that keeps the forum clean of unnecessary information and conversations passed between brothers, or between sisters. Authorizers depend heavily on use of pm's to run the forum effectively, for communicating with members regarding posts, errors, threads and general maintenance and support.

I'm sure you appreciated the support you received whilst contacting us via the pm system when you required assistance.

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#11 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 15:25

Bismillahir-rahmanir-raheem

As-salamu 'Alaykum all

Sulaiman: My apologies If I sound demanding. However, to be fair, I did include the word "suggestion" in the thread title and also said at the end "Insha'Allah let me know what you think", I would think that these two things would make it clear that this is only a humble suggestion. The MS shura is not obliged to comply. But alhmadulillah, at least the shura has responded to my request. JazakAllah brother Abu Muhammed and Sister Talibah.

Maulana Muadh: Is playing a guessing game a valid shar'i reason to interact with a ghair mahram?

wassalam.

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#12 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 15:32

[post review]

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#13 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 15:37

Arslan. wrote:

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W-Salam Brother,

And you know the condition of my heart and my intention to BANK your Aakhira and QUESTIONING on the day of judgement in front of Allah (SWT) on your theory?

How about the simple fact that the Ameer of this forum is a Scolar (Alim) himself who has chosen to allow this? My fault or did I influence his decision?

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#14 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 15:47

Arslan. wrote:

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It's a reminder to all of us old sf's, not to you or anyone else in particular. Sometimes I get the feeling on the general forum and posts that, along with hosting us muftisays is also dealing with the unnecessary baggage that we brought along during the hijrah :-).

The thought crossed my mind: What kinda host would do that...what kinda guest would do that.

These are some of the things I've observed, even before you came.

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الشكر قيد الموجود وصيد المفقود

Shukr binds the present (bounties) and traps the absent (bounties)

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#15 [Permalink] Posted on 7th January 2014 15:51

Sulaiman84 wrote:

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Guests with hatred which they can't deal with!

Normal behavior of our modern day Ulamah and Mashaykh and hence the laymen, have a disagreement in a private email and no matter how much you apologise, offer excuses it will dog you for the rest of living life on Earth and the whole world will know that you are some kind of a deviant without even knowing why or using their brains or even trying to find out.

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Suggestion - PM between opposite genders

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