How to deal with online Islamic battles, disputes and bullying

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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd September 2013 18:48

Assalamu Alaykum,

I used to be on the same boat many years ago. Flaming and wanting to throw the 15KG CRT monitor out of the window. But with time comes experience.

When you see an evil, it is a duty of a Muslim to stop it. If one is incapable to do this then it is a duty to do this by words and if not that then one should at least feel remorse in seeing the evil.

Online, you can't stop someone (well I can on the forum by banning and blocking and locking and editing but I don't because it's a forum) but every person can raise an issue against a wrongdoing which falls in the second category of the above. However, I'm sure we all agree that some are weaker than others. Many do take this step and some feel bullied or attacked. The following is for everyone.

1. Stay calm

2. Only make your point and nothing else

3. NEVER get personal

4. Stay calm and remind yourself that understanding (hence Hidayah) is NOT in your hands

5. Stay more calm

6. Keep the subject in mind always and don't let it spiral out of control. If it's about spoons, don't mention pots

7. Stay calm

8. If on the receiving end... Stay even more calm

9. If you have not been named then NEVER assume it's about you no matter how much you feel it's hinted to you. I guarantee you it's most likely not about you at all

10. Always always always back up all claims. If you can't back it up then don't post it unless it's a query.

I think in conclusion, stay calm

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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd September 2013 20:18

Jazakaullah Khayran Maulana.

Some people have it in them naturally others like me, don't.

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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 9th November 2013 01:19

As salamu alaikum,

I posted this is on another forum a while ago but thought I'd share this from Imam Al-Muhasibi's, Risalatul Mustarshidin (with commentary from Shaikh Abdul-Fattah Abu Ghuddah Rahimahullah):

Take for yourself a fair share of pardon and overlooking others

The effects that argumentation have on the heart

The author is referring to the fact that if you fall into an argument with someone, then the consequence of pardon and overlooking is better for you than continuing and persisting in the argument. The author is certainly correct in this regard because argumentation destroys Islam, preoccupies the intellect, kills the tranquility of the heart and emotions, robs a person of his sleep, turns the heart of a person into a blazing fire that is forever burning and ignited. Pardon and over looking- even though it may cause suffering and involve deception - is a far better share. For it wipes out all of the above-mentioned ailments and brings in their place peace, tranquility, virtue and goodness...

I ['Abdul Fattah] say: When a person is harmed by people and he exercises patience and overlook, and does not think about taking revenge and doing the same to those who have harmed him, then his end result will be better than the one who takes revenge for himself and returns evil with evil. This is because if he overlooks and is forbearing, if he relents and acts honorably - he will experience peace and coolness of the heart within himself and his emotions. In the like manner, he will experience tranquility and peace of mind. In fact, abstaining from disputation and replying to some transgressors, wrongdoers and malicious people is more effective than replying to them.

Good results for the person who abstains from argumentation and revenge

Imam Ibn a-Qayyim Rahimahullah says: "The scene of peace and coolness of the heart is a very honorable scene for the person who recognizes it and tastes its sweetness. This entails his heart and inner feelings not bothering about the harm that he has experienced. Furthermore, his heart should not bother about avenging this harm and satisfying his soul. Rather, his heart should empty and devoid of all this. He should realize that the peace and coolness of his heart and it being devoid of all this is more beneficial for him, more delightful, more wholesome and more advantageous."

"This is because if the heart occupies itself in any sort of revenge, it would miss all that is more important and better for it. In doing so, the person will be deceived. An intelligent and discerning person will not be pleased with that. He will consider all this to the engagements of a foolish person. How can there be any comparison between peace of the heart and it being filled with deception and evil whisperings? And being fully engrossed with exacting revenge?"

"As for the scene of peace and tranquility - if a person abstains from replying to the harm and exacting revenge, he will save himself from all that is worse than this. If he exacts revenge, he will certainly experience fear. This is because revenge sows enmity. And an intelligent persons never feels safe from his enemy even if he is an insignificant one. Many an insignificant person has brought about the fall of his major enemy. So if a person forgives, if he does not exact any revenge, if he does not reply to the harm, he will save himself from the birth of enmity or the increase of enmity. His pardon, his forbearance and his overlooking will certainly break the power of his enemy and repulse his fear - contrary to what exacting revenge will do. Experience also bears testimony to all this." 1.

In another place the Imam mentions:

[O my brother! Beware of] arguing in matters of religion.

Arguing entails disputing and trying to overcome one's adversary. This is done when you twist, trough your speech, the adversary from his opinion in order to give support to your own opinion. This is reprehensible unless it is done equitably and in order to portray the truth. However, this is rare today and such people are also very rare.

When you dispute with a person and try to overpower him [in your discussion], then you are argumentative (mujadil). But if you try to make him understand and want to attract him towards what you have to say, or you want to put his mind at rest [concerning a particular matter], then your purpose is to make him understand (you are a mufhim). In such a situation, you will find that the person you are speaking to is desirous to know what facts you have, he will be attracted towards you, and acknowledge your merits.

Imam Ibn al-Jauzi Rahimahullah says: "You should know that the beauty of a person's Islam lies in his leaving those things that do not concern him. When Allah Jalla Jalaluhu will evil for a person, He puts him through the test or argumentation. When Allah Jalla Jalaluhu wills good for a person, He inspires him to do good deeds. If Allah Jalla Jalaluhu takes away your tongue and gives back to you your heart, He has been extremely kind to you. But if He takes away your heart from you and gives back to you your tongue, you are in a very serious calamity." 2

Rasulullah Sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam warned against falling into argumentation and labelled it a cause by which people are turned from guidance to deviation. Abu Umamah Radhiyallahu 'anhu reports that Rasulullah Sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam said: "A people cannot deviate after guidance which they are on unless they fall into argumentation." He then recited this verse:

Maa dharabuhu laka illaa jadalaa bal hum qaumun khasimun

"They set forth this example only by way of disputation. In fact, they are a contentious people."

Zukhruf:58
3.

1. Ibn al-Qayyim, Madarijus Salikin, vol 2, p. 320

2. Ibn al-Jauzi, al-Mutashabih fil Qur'an, p. 11

3. Musnad Ahmed, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, al-Hakim

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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 9th November 2013 09:07

Assalaamu 'alaykum
This came my way today through email and then my eyes fell on this thread, I feel there are many lessons for me therein...

Futile Arguments
by Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahmatullah alayh)

It seems as if everyone has something to argue about these days. Arguing is a waste of precious time and a diversion of shaytaan, from carrying out good deeds or rendering services to Deen.

We do not have to worry about arguing with every other person. We have got no time to argue with people. Only that person will go around arguing with people who has got the time. ...He has got the time to waste, therefore he will go around arguing.

One person went to the barber and said : "I have got black and white hair. So just take out all the white hair." The barber shaved off all his hair, placed it in front of the man and said: "Now you can pick out all the white strands. I do not have the time for that."

The person whose heart is connected with Allah Ta'ala does not have the time for arguments, for fights, for unnecessary quarrels and for wasting time over useless, futile activities.

"That person whose eye is on where the orders are coming, will not waste his time going and fighting with everybody."

One person wrote a lengthy letter to me. He mentioned, amongst other things: "Maulana, you and all your blind followers who attend your programmes..." - have got this weakness, this weakness, this weakness."

I gave the reply: "JazakAllah for informing us of some of our weaknesses. There are many more which Allah Ta'ala has concealed. I make Shukr to Allah Ta'ala that He did not reveal all our weaknesses. Please do keep me informed when you notice more weaknesses, and make Dua that Allah Ta'ala gives us Hidayat."

That is all! Finished! ...What am I going to start arguing about?

Futile arguing creates restlessness and darkness in the heart. It opens the door to misguidance. It leads a person away from Siratul Mustaqeem (the straight path). Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam) cautioned us: "No people will go astray after having being guided except that they become argumentative."[1]

Thus, we should not waste time over pettiness. We do not have the time for that. There will always be enemies; there will always be jealousy; there will always be malice. ...There will be those who cannot see or stomach the progress of certain people and who will want to create unnecessary trouble and impede the person's progress. This will happen. It happened in the time of Rasullullah (Sallallaahu alayhi wassallam) - and will continue. So we should be careful not to get caught up with these type of wasteful issues.

Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam) said: "I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Paradise to the one who forsakes argument even when he is in the right.'[2]

If we keep before us this Hadeeth and have Yaqeen (conviction) on the words of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu 'alayhi wasallam), many arguments would not even surface.

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How to deal with online Islamic battles, disputes and bullying

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