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How to deal with egoistic people?!

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#16 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd March 2014 02:20
I make mistakes and I'm not proud of it. I wouldn't have any problem if anyone point out my mistakes for my Islah in a nice peaceful way. But seriously why do those people who think they are always right start searching (like google) for mistake in you in an unfair and insulting manner just to belittle you and hurt you?


I experienced the following:
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Egotistic people often misinterpret whatever you say into something that they think goes against them, no matter how you explain, they will not listen and continue to stick to their point. They believe everything they do is right even if it is very wrong. They take offence when someone point out their faults. They just don't seem to understand that someone else can have a different point of view. They never ask or check if their interpretation of the matter is correct and get defensive when someone challenges their views.
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#17 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd March 2014 10:12
Maria al-Qibtiyya wrote:
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I can relate to such a situation.

But Alhumdulillah, we aren't children and we follow the Sunnah as much as we can, so we forgive, forget and carry on!

May Allah protect us all from such ways.
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#18 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd March 2014 10:25
السلام عليكم

Welcome to reality, it's a dog world out there, the sooner you realise that the better, keep your own character in check, work on your weaknesses but also at the same time develop a thicker skin and open your eyes up more.

With time and practice these things won't affect you no more. However if you do let these things affect you soon they'll take over you and make your life miserable or even hell, it's your life make sure yout the one who chooses how you live it, not others.

'Someone in university a long time ago said to me, do you know why dogs bark ? because its in their nature'.

In regards to the online world, there's good and bad online and offline, so take the good and leave the bad, if its affecting you too much then take a break.

Hope that helps
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#19 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd March 2014 11:05
I have met egoistic people online and offline. What I do is basically avoid them, because they're just energy vampires. And if possible, tease them with a backward psychology or some sarcasm to get them some reality check.

For example : one day in a forum I met a Salafi who's extremely harsh to muslims who disagree with his opinions, branding them deviant, idiot, etc. And he's even more harsher to nonmuslims as well, telling them around they'll end in the bottomless hellfire forever. He always mentions "al walaa wal baraa" while in fact he just abused that as "license to treat people like dirt who against my opinion".

So I basically gave him some naseeha, but he was like "back off from advising me! We must be harsh to these idiots and kuffar!". So I replied him, "shut up, kid". He was enraged like no tomorrow xD and then played victim card, "what!!! I'm your muslim brother! Wallahi you're pathetic person why are you doing this to meee??? nanananananana" .....

So I was like, "HA! You're insulted now? Wasn't you telling 'be stern and harsh' before? Why do you hate harshness when it's being applied to YOU, but you love that to be applied to people? Then guess what, people you told as idiot, deviant, 'may you rot in hell' are as butthurt as much you are now".
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#20 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd March 2014 11:14
"Whosoever would be delighted to be delivered from the Hellfire and entered into Paradise, then let him die while he witnesses that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His servant and His messenger; and he treats people the way he loves to be treated."

[Hadith At-Tabarani, Al-Ma'jam Al-Awsat, Number 4881, hasan]
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#21 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd March 2014 12:26
the fake shaykh wrote:
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He's not blind. That was my point. And if he is blind then he's only blind to the fact that he's not blind. I have noticed many members over the years fearing pride and ego. There's a natural aspect to it too.

As for the thread OP itself, I can relate to such types of people where even talking to them feels like a waste of time. Alhamdulillah I can recognise them from the first sentence most times and I don't take too much notice of them thereafter except to treat them without any hatred and never looking down at them either. Only one deed is all it can take for them to be a million times better than yourself.
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#22 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd March 2014 13:49
abu mohammed wrote:
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Please don't relate it to any incident. As I've not done so.

I've not opened this thread with any mean intention, and Allah knows that. By this thread I don't want to prove any of ''my point'', If I do it'll be my arrogance.

whatever I write I feel are the characteristics of egotistic people based on what I've suffered and what I'm suffering. since I'm weak I express anything I feel. I want solution and more importantly wanna remove any hatred from my heart. Ameen.

If anyone feels anything I described are not the characteristics of an egotistic feel free to correct me I'm all ears. since it's still possible I could be wrong.

I don't intend anything bad for egotistic people other than that I could ignore them if they continue to treat me like this, as I'm a human being and I've a heart which feels.

I also want if anyone feels they have these characteristics they should take heed for the sake of Allah.

If this thread increase hatred among members and leads to any types of arguments then yes I'll really be guilty of opening this.

I most cases it seems people just don't seem to understand me what I think or feel. But it shouldn't affect me Insha Allah as people have different way of understating things and I'll have to answer only to Allah.

Coloratura wrote:
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Yours: I have met egoistic people online and offline. What I do is basically avoid them, because they're just energy vampires. And if possible, tease them with a backward psychology or some sarcasm to get them some reality check.


Re:

I've been advised not to insult back after an insult. You're advise to do the same.

Jazakillahu khair.
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#23 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd March 2014 10:13
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Send them in khuruj if possible - every amal in Tabligh is anti nafs / anti ego. From mashwara to eating food in groups from the same dish to mingling with all kinds of people to cooking and serving people who may be younger to you and less educated in duniawi funoon and perhaps even in financial stability, to sleeping on the ground, to cleaning up after you have had food to washing your own clothes to having someone as emir who may be in your opinion less endowed in all of the above and yet having to obey him..

The list goes on and on..

Tazkiyah / Tasawwuf in Tabligh is hidden and the effort is beautiful...no wonder a top ulamah zimmedar recently said this effort isn't Tabligh at all but an islahi effort
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#24 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd March 2014 10:14
Suggestion applies for ladies too...
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