Met a local elderly brother a couple days back who after meeting him i couldnt but feel overwhelmed with the sheer magnitude of his kidmah. He takes care of his 89 year old mother and 92 year old father who are both totally dependent on him (and his family now). He does most of the kidmah (i.e. doesnt leave it all to his wife). On top of that he and his wife adopted a child when he was 3 weeks old (he's 3 and a half now). subhanallah the beautiful and playful boy (Mohammed) was playing around in the room in front of me...i did meet him briefly when he was about 1. Since birth his health has been pretty poor with numerous stays in hospital and operations but alhumdulillah has improved a huge amount over the past year or so. He's also deaf in one ear and attends a special school for children with impaired hearing. He's more or less loved as a son now by the brother and his family even though they know that one day he'll be taken away (moved on to another family). They had a vague idea that he'll be moved some time in approx mid 2014...however just received a call last week he's being moved on 6th Jan. Inshallah there'll be khair in his move as the boy's moving in with another family where his sister is also being cared for (he has 9 brothers and sisters - all are in care i.e. being fostered). He doesnt know his other family at all due to his age and has only seen his sister 2-3 times in the past year and doesnt recognise her as his sister. Obviously the current family are very sad and the brother had tears in his eye when he was telling me ...i too had a huge gulp in my throat (but just about didnt cry ...definitely shed a tear).
Pls remember the boy in your duas that allah safeguards his iman and health ...and also that of all his other brothers and sisters.
There are many heart breaking stories, Allah protect all children and grant them safety from oppression.
About 10yrs ago a friend of mine fostered a 2yr old boy....very soon she began to struggle with his emotional needs, few years later he was given up for fostering again, we made enquiries...but were not considered due to the health needs of my own son. Another sister I knew in a nearby area took him in for fostering...up til then I had no idea that she was even a foster parent not only to this boy but had house full of other foster children including twin babies at the time.
Anyway this little boy was always on my mind...but I was fortunate to have the opportunity to continue to see him grow up....few years later and as this boy was getting older it was becoming difficult to find him a permanent adoptive family.
The topic of fostering and adoption arose as another friend of mine had adopted a little girl...anyway this discussion was with a family member...who said they were looking into adopting...we mentioned this boy, and they immediately looked him up and the adoption process started...the boy was much older by this time....the adoption was successful but after 3yrs he didn't settle due to being in a different town, school, surroundings etc, and was moved on to another foster home in another town. This boy will be going into adulthood....it breaks my heart to have seen him throughout his life then just disappear, but Khayr Allahuallam.
Can't imagine what these children go through, passed from pillar to post, always tell myself never judge a person, no matter how bad they may seem, because we don't know anyone's background story and where they coming from...we have a lot to be grateful for الحمد لله
There are many good brothers and sisters who foster and have adopted Alhumdulillah....we seldom hear and acknowledge the kind hearts who take in children and shower them with unconditional love and effection they require, they patiently persever with the emotional and physical needs of the innocent children. الحمد لله what an opportunity.
I have a question, might sound a bit basic though.
For families who foster children, why do these children get taken away and moved on to other families ? Surely this is detrimental to the kids emotional health more than anything.
Depends on the type of fostering...if it's short term fostering or long term.
A short term foster family normally take on children on emergency basis...ie. a child could be taken away without notice and just brought to your home until proper fostering arrangements are made...this also depends how long it takes for arrangements. Also the child might be returned to parents if there is a temporary issue that needs to be resolved at home before the child is returned. Normally short term foster homes need space for emergency...so the children keep getting passed on.
Sometimes the foster parents may need to pass on a certain child due to incompatibility with other children in the home ie.age, gender, disruptive behavior, etc.
As I understand it, the goal for most agencies (across countries) is to keep families together as much as possible. If possible, they'll try to keep siblings together - regardless of the fact that some children (like the one in the OP) spend many years with one family and may not know anything about their siblings or aunts and uncles, etc. It most certainly is disruptive and heart-breaking. :'(
I also understand that agencies strive to keep children with families of similar background - culturally and in terms of religion. If a suitable foster home is not found, then the agency starts to consider other homes (different backgrounds).
We have a lot of work to do brothers and sisters. A lot of work insha'Allah. So many children are in need and a child's place is not an institution. May Allah Ta'aala grant us all the ability to assist in any way we can, whenever we can. Ameen.
This cannot be undone and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.
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