assalaamu 'alaukum
A non muslim relative of a revert sister wants to understand why is it that a boy and girl are only allowed one look and no contact afterward i.e. phone calls, going out etc to get to know each other
Could anyone provide more info (apart from the laws of hijaab applying)?
To put it simply, because it's Haraam. She's a stranger, not wife. The respect and dignity Islam gives to both men and women is preserved this way. Once a woman gets to an open level as the west describes as free, she loses her value. Women are weaker, they fall more easily, if it happens that they don't marry then the rest is clear from today's problems in society. The meeting one time is just to "see" as one of the 4 important things of consideration is attraction. People have been married for 40 years and they still don't know each other, things come up all the time... so what is "getting to know each other"
This is just from the top of my mind, I am sure there's much better and detailed material on this.
Jazakallah Mawlana Yasin, its more than what i could think of and insha allah it'll help. If theres anythink else please post as i wont talk to her till next week.
If a man and a woman decide that they want to marry each other, this does not make it allowed for them to continue to see each other. Just the opposite, since the decision has been made there is no longer any need for them to see each other and they are no longer allowed to do so. This is because until the moment the offer and acceptance of the marriage have been pronounced, there is no relationship of any kind between them and all of the laws regarding strange men and women still apply to them.
apart from religion being the core reason, you would have to (unfortunately) think like a non muslim to give an answer that would sound decent understanding for them.
you cant lick the icing off the cake before the cake is cut, is ruins the cake.
assalaamu 'alaykum brothers & sisters.
Where revert sisters are concerned i find that they are very vulnerable...most have no family support.
These sisters are not able to travel to seek knowledge as revert brothers are able to do. Most rely on their muslim boyfriends/husbands who have very knowledeg themselves...so this is when the famous shaykh google comes in...and we all know theres all kinds out there putting out untruths and misinformation about Islam.
By the time these sisters find a teacher/organisation to help them they are already quite bemused...And this is my experience, time and again i've come across this situation.
Now when a member of their families does soften, it is with a lot criticism/questions about the beliefs and the religion she has chosen - and media does not help here as we all know. The sister's primary concern is to give da'awah to their loved ones and this is the reason I tend to try and find out the answers to their questions which are not just on the haqq but also with the hikmat behind the commands...Mawlana Asharaf 'Ali Thanwi's "The wisdom behind the commands of Allah" is very helpful but i dont always find the answer there so i try to consult with people of knowledge to get as much as i can for them.
With young people and reverts to Islam I find that explanations of the hikmat behind the commands are more readily accepted...I think the days of simple acceptance are long gone!
So I will be grateful for any more info on this subject
The thing is, Hikmat is manmade whereas the law is from Allah. Every ounce of life has a law: Physics, actions, voice, combat, necessities, society, countries, sports and everything in between.
Then there's laws of the country, cities, even areas within citities can have slightly different laws. It's what makes everyone equal that no one is above the law (even though the world is corrupt, this is the basic concept). In the same way, there's a law of life. This is where religion comes in and who else can set a perfect law of life other than the creator. Every religion has its own law, it's the creation's choice which religion they choose.
Some may think the above is for Muslims only but I said the exact same as above (or close to it) to a non-Muslim and there was absolutely no objection. If anything, he was intrigued.
The thing is, Hikmat is manmade whereas the law is from Allah.
Assalaamu 'alaykum
Since this hikmat behind the laws of Allah is given by those endowed with knowledge of the Qur'an and Hadith, is it still "manmade" so to speak? Its not as though they "the youth and the reverts to Islam" are rebelling against the commands of Islam. In fact the ones I know are more "pukka" in their adherance than most of us!
As it says on the cover of the book " to enable certain hearts to rest at peace and be motivated to greater servitude, he (Mawlana Ashraf Ali Thanwi) has delivered on the subject at length.
By all means, the scholars who have written on it have written on it for the very reason given in the quote of the cover as you have mentioned.
Quote:
Since this hikmat behind the laws of Allah is given by those endowed with knowledge of the Qur'an and Hadith, is it still "manmade" so to speak?
When I said manmade, I was refering to scholars as scholars are men, hence "manmade".
One danger of Hikmat for those without knowledge is that there is the danger of applying the "so if" formula.
Someone read that book once (if it has the Hikmat of the Hurmat of pork, or a similar book) and posed the question that if the pig was raised properly with no access to filth etc (basically, avoiding everything mentioned in the Hikmat) then would it be permissible to eat? When we asked Mufti Farooq Sahib this question, he replied with "no" (obviously) and then when asked why (to get the Hikmah side of it), he replied "Because Allah سبحانه وتعالى has forbade it" - Nothing more, nothing less.
When given more "but if's" posed by the person, he continued to reply with "No, because Allah سبحانه وتعالى has forbade it" - This is when he told us that Hikmat is a side thing and is mainly for the knowledgable. For the lay person, especially new Muslims or non Muslims, it actually raises more questions because Hikmat is not foolproof as it's manmade.
This cannot be undone and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.
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