Wheres the Unity?, Piety Vs Culture

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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 18th February 2008 14:13

Ok someone just randomly asked me a question and to be honest I aint gotta clue how to answer so I leave it to you folks!

Need some info: where to be directed?

"Whats the chances of a pious Pakistani boy marrying a pious Gujarati Surti girl (UK), (according to some sources) apparently surtis look down on Pakistanis and that South Africans are more open minded on this matter, what do you think?!?"

People say if you get rejected you should quit and marry your own kind, but why? Anything is attainable if you work for it, nothing is impossible. Dreams are there to give you an idea about what you want/need in the future so why give up on them if one nation says no, wheres the unity in Muslims today...

Responses so far:
Toronto, ON
my opinion, it doesnt matter if the boy and girl are pious, man its this stupid cultural boundary for guji's, u only marry another guji.. thas what thier parents say.. iunno if any1 else has it any dif, but my guess is that there is very lil chance of a pakistani of marrying a guji, only way it can happen is if the parents are open mindded or u really impress them.

UK Memi
to a certain extent i agree with Toronto, ON, it is just a cultural thing. but i wouldnt generalise to say that all surti's look down on pakistani's wen it comes to marriage because i hav seen guji's getting married to pakistani's and parents r fine with it. it depends on individual families and what they value more - their piety or their culture.

London Dedat
I say it's a bit of both...... my dad has given me free reign to marry whomever I choose (as long as he's muslim of course). My mother says you should marry your own kind... Maybe I have the best of both worlds...

More responses to come...

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I pray Allah (swt) blesses us with happiness, protects and guides us, and grants us a place in Jannah. Ameen

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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 19th February 2008 22:29

Salam
In response to this topic..id like to say that if the boy and girl are truely pious then there should be no problem in getting married, most of time the problem stems from the older genaration not accepting other cultures, and sometimes rightly so, as parents do know best for their child (not always i admit but majority of the time). I believe and i could be wrong but in accordance to islam, one should look for a partner from the closer community then looking outwards...its not a criteria but a preferance.

Also the whole issue of the boy and girl liking each other would not really be an issue if it had been consulted in the right manner...i.e. in islam the mother of the son would look for a girl and when she thinks fit will approach the girls side and that way there should be no problem (obviously this is not always the case as we all know that the kadija r.a. proposed to the prophet s.a.w. which is allowed, but again bearing in mind it should be done fulfilling islamic values). I admit sometimes we as humans can make mistakes and girls and boys do fall in love and take things into their own hands and thats where the problem lies, because when parents do find out they usually have a lack of respect for both the boy or/and girl...if its done the islamic way, where if the boy did see or fall in love with a girl and approached in the islamic manner i dont think any parent wether gujrati or pakistani would object, as the respect would be earned.

The social aspect of being open minded - well i dont agree with the south africans being more open minded, i think anywhere you goin the world you go, there will be people who are open minded and narrow minded; it all depends on your tarbiat (upbringing)

My personal advise to anyone in this situation would be to read upon islamic marriage and its ettiquetts and requirements, and also that if your family is on the narrow minded side then educate them also.
Allah knows best

May allah forgive me for saying anything which was not in accordance (ameen)

p.s. i have mentioned this book before on muftisays and i will so again as it is absolutely brillaint and really sheds light on every aspect from before marriage to after marriage...it is ashrafs blessings of marriage...available from azhar academy . com and i really recommend that you suggest to your friend to read upon it.

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The shortest distance between a problem and its solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.
The one who kneels before Allah (swt) can stand up to anything.

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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 20th February 2008 17:31

Hadith Al-Bukhari - Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

wasalaam

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Allah Humma Hasibni Hisabian Yasira

La Ilaha IlAllahu AstaghferULLAH Asalooka wal jannah wa Aouza Bika Mi-Nan-nar

May ALLAH Subhana Wa Tal'a Shower his mercy, blessings and forgiveness on the Umaati of Hazrat Muhammad SallAllahu Alayhi Wasallaam in this Life and in the Hereafter insha ALLAH Ameen

Rabbangh FirLee, Wa Li-Waalidayya, Wa Lil Mu-mineena Yawma Yaqoomul Hisaab

[img:886a39f853]http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q9/shahly/hadith_dhikr.gif[/img:886a39f853]

leicester,UK

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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 20th February 2008 22:03

[quote="Ferrari1981"]Ok someone just randomly asked me a question and to be honest I aint gotta clue how to answer so I leave it to you folks!

Need some info: where to be directed?

"Whats the chances of a pious Pakistani boy marrying a pious Gujarati Surti girl (UK), (according to some sources) apparently surtis look down on Pakistanis and that South Africans are more open minded on this matter, what do you think?!?"

People say if you get rejected you should quit and marry your own kind, but why? Anything is attainable if you work for it, nothing is impossible. Dreams are there to give you an idea about what you want/need in the future so why give up on them if one nation says no, wheres the unity in Muslims today...

Responses so far:
Toronto, ON
my opinion, it doesnt matter if the boy and girl are pious, man its this stupid cultural boundary for guji's, u only marry another guji.. thas what thier parents say.. iunno if any1 else has it any dif, but my guess is that there is very lil chance of a pakistani of marrying a guji, only way it can happen is if the parents are open mindded or u really impress them.

UK Memi
to a certain extent i agree with Toronto, ON, it is just a cultural thing. but i wouldnt generalise to say that all surti's look down on pakistani's wen it comes to marriage because i hav seen guji's getting married to pakistani's and parents r fine with it. it depends on individual families and what they value more - their piety or their culture.

London Dedat
I say it's a bit of both...... my dad has given me free reign to marry whomever I choose (as long as he's muslim of course). My mother says you should marry your own kind... Maybe I have the best of both worlds...

C) Mazharul, leicester, UK

look i don't know much in this matter, but what i do know is that all the people are the children of Adam(A.S) so what ever culture/race/country we belong to we are all the same, so i think the best thing to do is ask for Allah help in uniting the 2 families together becuase allah is the only person who does everything, whether we can see it or not.

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mazharul

Wheres the Unity?, Piety Vs Culture

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