Womens rights

Salaam Respected Brothers and Sisters

I am writing because i have a few issues i would like to research about, but all the information i get really puts me off.

I know this sounds harsh and i really don't want to feel the way i do about some issues but i can't help it and i would really like some help to get over them. It's mostly about women's right, i feel as if islam is totally unfair on women. it's all about how the woman should do this to please her husband, how she should be obdient and self sacraficing...it really puts me off marriage! It's like all the guys have the rights, theyre like lords over their wives who have to listen to thier every command...unless ofcourse it goes 'against islam.' i mean i'm sorry if this sounds rude but i cant believe the fact that men are allowed to have more then one wife!!!!!! i mean you get married so you share your life with this one person...who wants a second, third and fourth women in the way? I know its all that stuff about if ur wife cant give u 'sexual satisfaction' then u can marry again, but what of the husband can't give the wife the same thing? oh, she has to bear it with a smile doesn't she. i really want to be religious, but these things put me off.

I dont care about other religions and how unfair they are on women but i'm talking about ISLAM and i want equal rights. it's just not possible though. i know im being really selfish but i can't help it!!!!! the prophet said there will be more women then men in hell...erm why?!!! who are the rapists, the burgulars, the guys who used to bury thier daughters alive and treat women like animals???? ok so women gossip....but whats worse? gossipers or rapists? i believe in allah strongly and i really want to be more religious but then this womens right issue comes up and i get put off. i'm nearly going to be 16 soon and i think this ramazan could be my new start...but i need more info on this topic. please help out, sorry if i offended anyone or said something wrong but i just said what i feel.... Jazak Allah.

Sister In Islam

This shuld't have been reported. This sister wants guidance and we are here to help.

(i remember i went through this until i decided to go study further in a darul-uloom, where i learnt so much in such a short time.)

someone learned should tackle this asap. it really will rid her negative thoughts in womens rights.
Alhamdolillah, Allah the Almighty has made it so easy for women.
there are rights concerning;
as a wife
as an INDIVIDUAL
as a widow
as a daghter in law
as an inheritor
etc....

it goes on and in detail.
sweet16, is there anything in particular that you need details on?
if so, im absolutely certain someone will tend to you real soon.

Wassalam

• The command for wife's obedience to her husband
• Conjugal rights and the man's right to have up to 4 wives
• Women in Jahannam - judging the severity of a sin.
  

many families follow traditions which are based back home. (be it india, pakistan, bangladesh where ever...)
some people follow this more then the simple sharia laws regarding our rights as women.
so if ur from a very tradtional family, then it could very well be the case where you (swt16) are seeing people in your family following baseless traditions rather than the sharia law.
personally, i grew up thinking some of the traditional things i was brought up on, were in fact part of the laws of islam. (i used to think it was very unfair & wished i were a boy instead!! lol) however, when i went to study for a few years and as i read many books, i realised that they were all traditions. and i did find the laws to be more fair on women than these traditions.
i am not saying what swt16 said above are traditions. just that there maybe other things that she maybe confused about.

saying that, i guess sister shahly & ohers should explain some more in individual posts regarding matters which swt 16 has given.

ps, men also have to respond to womens conjugal rights.

1) :D OMG - join the crew ... I remember nights when I would stay up till the early hours crying and agonising over my fate as a girl !

2) Too right ! ! !

Wassalaam

But she knows what she is thinking is only misconceptions that is why she wants it clarified.

It's a shame we are brought up in such an culturally embossed manner that girls wish they are boys.

May Allah taa'la give us all hidaya and true understanding of deen. Ameen.

i pray swt16 has learnt from this.
swt16 - if u have anymore q's, u shud feel free to ask. be it most embarrassing or common. there seems to be many learned women here on this site. masha'allah
u shud ask q's regarding what u do not know about, however, dont ever deny Allah ad his rules. never question Allah himself. that is kufr.
but i know she is just going through a rough teenage patch with hormones plying her up.
sister shahly, seriously, i thought i was abnormal in my teenage years. im glad to hear there are others that went thru the same!! lol!!

It is hard when living in a community with cultural,traditional norm, value and honour, I feel for you sister, you just a few years younger them me and I felt almost the same way you do at that age Angry and Confused.
I can go into a length talk about marriage, but I will like to avoid it as one of the sisters has answered very well.
I found "Ashraf's Blessing in marriage" very helpful, it doesn't degrade women's rights but I believe it highlights the important of a women in a wife role.
There are wonderful (non- prejudice) answers to all your questions sometime its best for you to go out there and learn them yourself, go to taleems, read Islamic books and interact with to Muslim sisters.

One problem is when you don't have any Muslim friends or have friend who know mock Islam and make it sound bad, that was exactly me at the age of 15, I didn't go Islamic school but a public one and I had no Muslim friend, no encouragement about seeking knowledge in Islam from family (because once you know about your religion you end up telling your family how it is).
You need goods Islamic influence, I'm not saying stop hanging around with non-Muslim but find good Muslim friend who you advise you about Islam etc.

Allah knows what ability he has given to men and women what they can cope with and what not. Women cannot cope with having more then 1 husband for various reason if you look it up you'll understand, I'll give you one reason how will she know who child she is carrying in her womb!!!

Women have right, it just society that has taken it away, but then you've got western views which Islam will never adjust to (inssallah). Islam give women states once again you really need to look it up.

In order for you to understand women right you need to learn about your religion in-depth. "A wise person before going to foreign country they will learn the language so they have no way of getting lost or tricked"Alm (knowledge)
Try taleems in your locate area, I use to avoid taleem until I found it beneficial and issallah you will too.

Forgive me for been all over the place with my words at work.

Brother it unfair what you've said, unless you highlight a problem or issues how do you overcome it and show them the path to Islam Peace. The are hundreds of sister And brothers out there are misguided because when they need help and advise they was turn away.
The bottom line is if you have trust in Allah what ever happens you would tell yourself "Allah knows best". Firm faith comes only through

The bottom line is if you have trust in Allah what ever happens you would tell yourself "Allah knows best".

What u guys have sed is true. Sux we get twisted with our beliefs, we forget that behind everything, there is a reason. At ince I thought, Why am I a girl? Why this? Why that? I didnh't think about turning to AUTHENTIC Islamic sites etc. and instead I was misguided by articles written by others whio degraded women. Insha'Allah by your posts, sis sweet16 will understand but hey, no probs if u got more questions! :)

Wassalam