This is an excerpt from one of Tariq Masood’s speeches. Its translated more or less meaning.
One man he lost his children. He got divorced and his wife took the children. The event left him grief stricken. He was severely depressed. Off course he longs for his children. I advised him take legal action and go to court. He said going to court is not going to help. I suggested several other alternatives. He said he already tried all of them & wasn’t successful.
Then I told him let it go & put it behind you. (5) What is not within your control, to grieve over it is foolish. And get married and have another family.
When you will have other children, your focus will shift. He said people will taunt me I forgot my previous children. I told him people have lot of time to waste & will continue to taunt you. Ignore them.
What is not in your control what is the benefit to keep examining it! This is great lesson. What is not in your control let go of thinking over it.
Throughout his life, Nuh (as) tried to guide his son but he turned out to be disbeliever. In last moment, one can imagine what love & compassion Nuh (as) had while asking his son to board his ship.
“O my son, come aboard with us” (11:42)
“He said, I shall take shelter on a mountain which will save me from the water.” (11:43)
A Prophet has intense love for his children. Similar to how Yaqub (as) had for his son (Yusuf). What pain Nuh (as) must have experienced but his son never changed.
“And the waves rose high between the two, and he was among those who were drowned.” (11:43)
Nuh (as) supplicated to Allah “My Lord, indeed my son is of my family; and indeed, Your promise is true” (11:45)
Allah replied “O NūH, in fact, he is not a part of your family. Indeed, he is (a man of) bad deeds. So do not ask Me something of which you have no knowledge. “(11:46)
Its not that Nuh (as) fell in despair “Oh what has happened with me” or start thinking “why did this happen”.
Immediately Nuh (as) prayed “My Lord, I seek refuge with You that I should ask You something of which I have no knowledge. (11:47)
Its not that he(as) started wailing in pain. What is not in your control relinquish it! We take lot of stress on those things that are not within our control.
I've listened to the above video and it reminded me of a family that I'm aware off. But I don't think the advice given by Mufti Saheb would be appropriate in this case. There are 2 brothers ages 11 and 12, who don't like their mother. They do not want to live with her nor do they really want to have any contact with her and have not lived with her for a few years now. I really can't see them moving in with mother anytime soon. But I can't see her taking Mufti Sahebs advice, nor do I expect her to, to let go of her children and carry on with her life.
With relationships, I think each situation is unique its never black and white. Its best to consult a scholar well versed in these matters.
I believe not every scholar is well versed in these matters. If you cannot find a reliable scholar seek out muslim community counsellors or therapists.
This cannot be undone and I am sure it will be greatly appreciated.
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