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SUNNAH OR OLD FOLKS TALE?

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#1 [Permalink] Posted on 10th November 2004 02:16
Assalamu alaikum wrwb yaaro

Look wot the cats dragged back in.. yes... WASIM!

hmmm where shall i start?.. maybe at the begining.. after shaadi u have barbaadhi (joking joking).. but before shaadi, why do we have mendhi?

The non-muslims, they have chicken and Hen nights, or stag Do's, and i have noticed in many cultures, pakistanis, bangali-nies (both you shoudo bassha's and syhleties), indians.. wagaira wagaira have a similar tradition of having the woman and man deranged in oil, and smothered in henna, so they can look like they freshly come out of the oven baked all golden and brown....WHY? why do that to yourselves, im sorry but whats so good about it, aha, unless it's freemixed and u aint got ur eye on the mendhi plate..

In my thinkage i believe this not Sunnah, yaani, it's sumthing our mothers have made up...coz theres food involved..brothers, pls treat ur mothers more to the restaurants, and sisters... cook more then one glass of rice!

anyway, i wanna know if this is sunnah... and pls dnt give me sum old folk tale, just interesting opinions and views about this mendhi ceremony.. is it allowed? and pls dnt say "yes so long as u use the duff" coz i didnt ask about muzic i asked about the whole entire event taking place.

anyway lemme know
wsalam
(Aap ka apna wasim, with my new side parting)
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#2 [Permalink] Posted on 10th November 2004 16:54
Old folks tale - Young guns adventure

Mehndi party before weddings is a Hindu tradition. I know many who have said, "Yea I know it's unislamic." Never have they missed a mehndi and like Eid do they wait and plan for the day. Have the Muslims lost it that bad?

It actually becomes Haram when it is taken as part of the marriage. As then it is mixed in Deen thus making it a Bid'ah, Hence, Haram.

Honestly speaking, if this ruling was placed in front of them, they would say, "Yes we know that it is not part of the marriage, we are just holding it for happiness." If the mehndi did not take place before the marriage, I can almost guarantee they will change the date for marriage as mehndi did not take place.

Mind you, many times, parents object it yet the daughters still gather and mehndi takes place.

If the hatred of these traditions do not build up in us, i doubt it will effect those who love these traditions to extreme extents.

May Allah guide us all. Ameen
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#3 [Permalink] Posted on 10th November 2004 23:05
Salam,

I personally have stopped going to weddings generally due to all these customs and traditions and innovations. Even if asked by the mother of the friend who is getting married why I didn't go, I say "there's were too many Haram activities. I didn't want to support it"

Mite be direct or rude but I think that's the only way they'll ever learn. And yea, the elders are no different to the young ones. So old folks tale or young guns adventure (lol well said admin) i think both are guilty.

Ameen to Admins Duaa and Jazakallah for Wasim's concerns (as usual)
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#4 [Permalink] Posted on 17th November 2004 12:05
Ewww I didnt know mendhi tradition was hinduic.
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#5 [Permalink] Posted on 19th November 2004 02:03
Also, exchanging of rings between couple (known as mangni among desiz) is not permitted in Islam because this is an innovation that has been newly invented in the religion, and it's even worse if the man wears a gold ring because gold is forbidden for men in Islam.
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#6 [Permalink] Posted on 22nd November 2004 14:10
Does anyone know about the whole stage thing? Marriage has become like a pop show
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#7 [Permalink] Posted on 8th December 2004 20:19
So from this topic, the Islamic harms of the following are mentioned:
  • Mehndi

  • Stage

  • Israaf

  • Free mixing

  • Exchanging Rings


  • If i have missed any, add them. Guest users can also join in.
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    #8 [Permalink] Posted on 11th January 2005 11:15
    Yasin wrote:
    So from this topic, the Islamic harms of the following are mentioned:
  • Mehndi

  • Stage

  • Israaf

  • Free mixing

  • Exchanging Rings


  • If i have missed any, add them. Guest users can also join in.
    salaam

    so what would be the sunnah method of getting married (would you not do any of the above??)
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    #9 [Permalink] Posted on 11th January 2005 19:22
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    #10 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd October 2005 19:34
    Assalamualaykum, I just joined a while ago and as usual I was browsing on muftisays and I had to reply to the post, as I feel really strongly on the issue. I absolutely despise free mixing in weddings and absolutely HATE the traditions that people have these days, alot of my family believe in it and whenever you mention deen they always have the
    Quote:
    "Yea I know it's unislamic." [/quote]

    Argghh! it angers me alot. When I was younger my parents used to force me to go to these events, I agree with Khalid Bin Walid,[quote] I personally have stopped going to weddings generally due to all these customs and traditions and innovations. Even if asked by the mother of the friend who is getting married why I didn't go, I say "there's were too many Haram activities. I didn't want to support it"


    We should encourage brothers and sisters to do things according to the shariah. The sunnah way of getting married is the best way, and is so unique. :) It makes me so upset to see that nowadays people are imitating the ways of the non believes in marriage and are forgetting the sunnah. I heard a story from the friend a few weeks ago about a couple who had planned their wedding, they were so worried about the staging, flower arrangements, henna nights, music, clothes, (oh yes admin, there's another one to add to your list, WEARING REVEALING CLOTHES!), that they forgot about the mahr and weren't bothered at all. I personally thought that they were so disprespectful to the sunnah, and it makes me sad.

    I would personally spend money on feeding those people that don't have food at all..

    Anyway thats my personal opinion. May Allah سبحانه وتعالى gives us the hidayat to do things accordingto the sunnah and may He makes us aware of the fitna from the events, so that we may put an end to it.

    Remember me in your duaas.

    Wassalam

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    #11 [Permalink] Posted on 23rd October 2005 22:34

    Subhanallah, nice to know that the youth of today oppose all these totally unecessary customs(assuming your young!)The only way forward, in my humble opinion is to declare clearly at ur own weddings that non of this nonsense will be tolerated,this is the perfect occasion to throw a full-blown tantrum. Threaten to back out of the wedding if they refuse and hopefully they should come round- after all 'Izat ka sawaal hai!'


    I know quite a few bro/sis who have insisted on 'no-frills' weddings, after huge wars,lots of tears from aunts and sisters,they did eventually win, not just that, it becomes an initiative, which inshallah others will follow, and it will provide ppl in similar circumstances with courage to request same.

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    #12 [Permalink] Posted on 25th October 2005 23:36
    Salaams Mufti Yasin Sahib and everyone else,
    I was wondering if the same would apply if 1 or 2 sisters just got together privately with the bride without no pomp and show, pressure for mehdi, no music, no dancing and all praying their salaats as normal for a few hours to apply mehdi to the bride. Would this also be haraam. Could this not also fall under the catergory of beautifying the bride for her husband just like her getting her hair done, make-up, new clothes or even the groom cutting his hair and oiling his beard. Of course there is no question of it being jaiz if there is music, dancing, missing of salaats and thinking mehdi to be unmissable, or a large gathering of women as we all know when there is a large gathering of women there is a good chance fitna will spread.
    Wasalaams
    p.s Please dont forget me in your dua's
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    #13 [Permalink] Posted on 26th October 2005 00:06
    Wa AlaykumusSalam,


    As nice as the word 'Mufti' looks before my name, unfortunately i'm not. That would be Ulamaa ID 01 (Mufti Yaseen).


    As for what you've asked, I think you've answered most of it yourself to why it is okay to do so. Just one addition though, if the bride does Shar'ee Purdah (covering) then there can be no harm as no one but her husband (and Mahram) will see her. But if the wedding is mixed, the bride is displayed in the front row of the stage like a barbie doll and then the 2 or 3 sisters get together before the wedding making sure there's no music etc then obviously the getting together for doing hair face etc will reflect on the occasion hence making it improper.


    Every action is judged by intention is a very famous Hadeeth. This Hadeeth can not be used as a getaway nor can it be used to justify actions which follow when one knows what is going to happen. I hope this makes sense.


    Wassalam

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    #14 [Permalink] Posted on 26th October 2005 11:27
    So just to confirm Molana sahib. It will be ok, if like you said there is no "pop and show" of the bride being displayed to any non-mahram before, on or after the wedding. That she also observes her normal Shar'ee purdah conditions at all times. And no action or custom goes on which in anyway go aganist the rules of Shariah.
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